Looking Backward, Looking at Today


Sundial with the motto "Carpe Diem",...
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 Looking backwards and longing for the days of youth, forgetting the best time of our lives is here and now. Age does not only take from us the vitality of youth but brings us wisdom and the greatness of experience. So I may not look as young and as good as i did 20 years ago, I still am here and can enjoy life. The superficial things that I have supposedly lost were nothing to me when i had them so they remain nothing to me now as they fade away.

Fortunate for me I was never the Hunk or Stud in my youth, I was just the average Joe who muddled through his teen years in a confused and lonely state of mind. Still confused in my middle age and sometimes still deal with loneliness but only when I allow the illusion to blind me from the love around me. I may not have all I dreamed of having but I do have all I need. The only regret I have is the loss of friends through the years from moving and from their passing on. Friendship is something I value and see as one of the many keys to happiness.

The greatest gift of growing old to me is that I do not worry about others peoples opinions of me as much as I used to. I worry more about my self image more than the image others perceive me as. I still care about other peoples feelings and well being as much if not more now as I approach my mid 40’s. Seems to me what I do affects all those around me, so I try to make sure what I do and say is either neutral or positive if all possible.

Music still is the driving force behind me and my life, I may never have made it into a band or the music industry per se but I still love a wide selection of musical genres and do not limit myself to the POP Genres. I will listen to about any type of music that comes my way. Without music I feel my life would be without any type of fun or direction. Babbling on I am in this post, seems my mind once again is in its transient stage. Ever wandering and pondering on thought after thought. Like a blender full of ideas and dreams spinning round and round, Churning and mixing while spitting out bits of one thing or another. This I guess is another part of growing old, your mind starts to become fuddled and chaotic at times and then it goes on vacation permanently.

Looking at today and forgetting what yesterday was while knowing the future will bring what it pleases regardless of my plans and wishes. Carpe Diem, seize the moment as the old phrase goes. Live for today and enjoy it before it becomes yet another forgotten yesterday. Remember the past but live in it not, It served us well when it was a today and reminds us of what to and not to do but that is all it is for now that today is here.

Peace and Prosperity to All
Raymond Barbier

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One thought on “Looking Backward, Looking at Today”

  1. hi ray hope you are well nice to hear from you i feel that i am living alot in the past and im having a hard time trying to move on into the present yes i know that i had the brain tumor and it has blocked alot of my past memories but i still remember times with you and things we did i didnt have chance to grow up like others did so im having struggles with moving forward but im going to church and going through celrbrate recovery to try to help me understand alot more wewll i gotta go for now ive gotten myself upset i miss you ray and cant wait to see you again love you lisa

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