Tag Archives: Child

The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together.

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dd43853The family unit is one of the most important part of society. Without a functional family unit t individuals would have no preparation for the harsh realities of life we all face. Some families are more functional than others and there are some that are quite dysfunctional. One of the shortcomings I see in modern-day families is that once the children approach the preteen and/or teen years the family group activities diminish if not cease to exist. Without family group activities the communications between the family members become less frequent as well as the trust that the family should have. The once close connection between parents and children break down as well as the connection between siblings. I had first hand experience with some of the problems mentioned above. I watched what once was a close family drift apart as I grew older.

I know that some of it is just a part of growing up, but it seems families are not as close as they once were and that the basic communication skills are lacking in the family unit. The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together. The family unit is a child‘s first social group along with its only true support structure. The child learns right from wrong, how to communicate with others and how to relate with the world outside through this or her family. Eventually the family unit will become second to the child’s social peers, and if there was not a strong bond amongst the family unit the social peers will be the social group that will influence the child the most.

The children and teens of today are the leaders, thinkers and the creative force of tomorrow. They are our greatest asset and the family unit is our greatest tool in molding and shaping their future as well as our own. Just something for all you out there to think about .

Peace and Wisdom be your Guiding light in life.
Raymond Barbier

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Allow distractions to interfere with our lives

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100_0063Life is short and full of distractions, if we allow ourselves to be distracted by things we tend to overlook and neglect the people who are important to us. So many things left unsaid and undone every day because of our willingness to allow distractions to interfere with our lives. We tend to put our families, friends and lovers on the back burner to our jobs and sometimes to our recreational activities. This can create tension in our relationships and usually it tends to create an unhappy atmosphere. I do not think that anyone purposely puts their career or recreation above their family, lovers or friends. I believe for the most part it is you start working more hours and etc. to give your family a better life financially. Our society has went from one that focused on the family and on making sure they had food, cloths, a roof over their head along with a good education to more of a materialistic society. Sure we still focus on the family and try to give them the necessities but we also try to make sure we keep up with the Jones’s next door.

  Trying to keep up with the Jones’s and Smith’s is one of those distractions that takes away the time and energy that could be focused on your family, lover and friends. Possessions can be stolen, lost and will eventually either break down or become obsolete unlike the love and companionship of friends and family.Maybe a camping trip or fishing trip with the kids and spouse would be better than buying a new game console for the kids or that atv. Togetherness and sharing experiences is what builds strong relationships along with good character in children.Family outings teaches children the importance of family and even friends.

  Now there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to give your family the things it wants along with the things it needs as long as you don’t work so many hours you are at loss for time to enjoy life with them. Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand one must work to pay the bills and keep a roof over their head. But you should always try to find time to spend with the family and worry less about the less important thing like luxury items.There is always a way to balance out things and a way to both give the family what it need and some of the things they want. We all just need to evaluate everything in our lives and prioritize with the family as the main focus.

“Family is the foundation of the life we live”

Raymond Barbier

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Alpha, Beta and Bullies

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Children volunteering

Image via Wikipedia

A Man is allot like a coin because There is two sides to his personality, one dominant and one the seldom seen. The dominant side of the coin/man is what you see every day and is usually either aggressive ,controlling and or cold and intellectual side of him. This either can be manifested in a Macho or a passive aggressive persona. The other side of the coin is mainly what he considers to be his weaknesses and soft spots per se. The nurturing, caring and more emotional.

As young boys we are taught that showing emotions and or crying is not manlike and we usually would be ridiculed by our peers if not by adult men for such behavior. On the other hand we were praised when we excelled in sports or any other form of physical activity. Some boys were even coached to be bullies and or aggressive towards the less physically inclined males. Basically the alpha male syndrome promoted by our fathers who thought it would insure our success in the future.

In the days of hunting/gathering this was a practice that was surely needed to teach the boys in the tribe to survive and defend the group. As Civilization started to flourish this mentality was carried on into the fields of hunter and military. In modern times the practices of teaching aggression and alpha male-ism is still around the only problem is that it is not kept in check by rules and boundaries. With such large populations and a over crowded  public school system it causes many social dysfunctions such as the development of the gang mentality.

  There has been allot of noise on the news channels about the bullying problem in our school systems and on the internet. This is the alpha male/female syndrome in a perverted form. With no one to keep the young alphas in their place until they mature enough to distinguish between self preservation and cruel intimidation or abuse allows for the terrible results we have seen such as suicide and hospitalization.

Though there is still a need for the alpha and beta rankings among the children for the sake of both human survival and the process of learning the ranking system in society it should be done with respect. Respect is a word along with honor that is no longer thought in homes and schools like it used to. Self Respect and Respect for others should be the first lessons we teach our youths, then we should teach them of honor and integrity for that is what makes humans civilized.

We seem to spend more time pointing fingers towards who we want to be at fault for our children being aggressive and disrespectful instead of trying to correct the problem. Far as blame I will tell you it is each and every one of our faults, for if we do not work together to try and change the direction of our youth we all will face a future that may not be as bright as we would hope. To teach our children honor, self respect, respect for others and integrity we ourselves must lead in example. For the one thing that has not changed throughout the years is that the children learn allot of their behaviors from the parents and peers around them.

  Agree or disagree with my ideals , but you can not disagree that their is a problem in the way our children are viewing and interacting with life. To be fair there are many children and teens that are wonderful and quite full of honor and respect but it takes only one or two bad apples to spoil the barrel. Parents, teachers and the community need to come together to address the issues that are at hand and work together to help our youth to flourish and thrive in the right ways and directions.

Enough of my Silly thoughts for now
Peace and Prosperity to All
Raymond Barbier

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