Tag Archives: Happiness

We should just be the best person we can be

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bnf0422We make our lives far more complicated than they really are, we seem to put too many conditions on every choice we make and action we take. Things are either black, grey or white there is very little else they can be, either it is for our good or for our dismay. We allow our ego to get in the way of the happiness of others and even our own happiness in the end. Selfishness serves no purpose other than to deceive you into believing that possessions and wealth can make you happy. Yes money makes it easier to live in this world, but money is not a source of true happiness or love. Money is but paper or metal and it usually causes more problems than it solves. We tend to be addicted to temporary and instant gratifications which are good at distracting us from the good things in life like friends, family, love and communal fellowship. We need to be less about self and more about family, friends and community.

bnf0421 We need to learn to put our ego’s back in their place and live life with unconditional love, trust, compassion, hope and most of all faith. We need to put away the fear we have been taught and embrace the spirit of hope so that we can truly live our lives. We can no longer go through each day just trying to survive, we must live each day in the fullest as if there is no tomorrow. We should show our appreciation to those in our lives that we love and hold dear. We should be considerate, kind and compassionate to all those we meet, for none of us are perfect or without fault. We shouldn’t worry about what we don’t have for possessions are only temporary. We shouldn’t worry about who does or don’t like us for that is something we can not control in the end. We should just be the best person we can be and cherish those that we are blessed to have as friends and family.

The first step in changing one’s life is to change the way you look at life itself.
Raymond Barbier

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Embrace that spirit of hope

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p10329 We tend to look outwardly for our happiness, love and for acceptance. God gave us all the tools within us to be happy, love and be loved. Pretty much anything we need to be or do is within our own selves, God gave us everything within, it is only the matter of having the faith to utilize what we have been blessed with. We can not find happiness from an outside source if we can not even embrace the happiness god gave us within. It is hard to love anyone or anything if we can not embrace the love God gives us deep inside. Once we learn to have faith in and embrace the gifts god planted within our souls we then will not worry about acceptance because we know we belong to God. As long as we don’t allow the distractions on our modern lives to get in the way and we don’t fall to the spirit of fear we shall live a happy and successful life. We must embrace that spirit of hope and the sound mind God blessed us with. We can not allow those in this world who try to make us believe we are hopeless or condemned without salvation. They wish only to drag you down with them, we shouldn’t have hatred for those people for we should pray for their souls and show them the compassion we are taught by Christ‘s teachings.

Look within yourself for the blessings god blessed you with and do not fall for the traps of our modern world.
Raymond Barbier

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A Middle-aged Man’s Thoughts on Life

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MP900321192 A lifetime sounds like a long time, but it is but a drop of water in the ocean of time. It goes by in a blink of an eye, one minute you’re in high school and the next minute you’re a grandparent or at least old enough to be one. It really does seem just yesterday I was a teen and a day before that I was a child. Life goes by way too fast and there is very little time to appreciate everyone and everything in it. We get so wrapped up in everyday life we don’t even realize that life is flying by. By the time we figure out that life goes by fast we are past the mid part of our life here.  Getting old isn’t so bad at least until teenagers and kids keep pointing it out to you. Just because I am so-called old doesn’t mean I don’t have dreams or that I don’t want to have fun or that I am incapable of doing so. I am pretty much the same person I was when I was 18 to 19 years old just a bit wiser and a little slower to be as compulsive. I have quite a few battle scars from relationships and life’s lessons that I didn’t have back then but still I try to be optimistic.

I guess the funniest part of it all is I went through most of my life never being old enough for one thing or another and now I am too old for a lot of the same things. Seems I missed that right age for everything somehow. Well phooey on all the people who think I am too old to do what I like and the same that think I am to young to have my own opinions and wisdom. I am me and no matter what age I am and will live to be I will live life and enjoy it with all my heart. If I am not the right age or good enough in someone else’s eyes then they don’t have to look. To live life by the opinions and ideals of others isn’t living your own life. To live by what is your own ideals and beliefs is living a full and hopefully  a happy life. Even if it isn’t as happy or as fulfilling as I might want it is still my life and my choice and that is what really matters.

For life goes by quickly and we should enjoy every moment we are blessed to live to see.

Raymond Barbier

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an invitation to be kind or to smile

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p10328 To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.

A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes.  The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so.  So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness.  Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.

God Bless

Raymond Barbier

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What our definition of happiness is may differ

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008 I am who and what I am, full of faults and shortcomings that I have learned to accept. I am no stud or intellectual giant but I have finer points that few ever see or notice. My uniqueness is something I treasure and will never hide from others. I used to be so concerned about what others thought of me, but I have learned that what they think about me is less important than what I think about myself. I have leaned to love me for who and what I am. Take me for what I am or do not take me at all, for I am the sum of all my experiences though life and the person I have become within. I am an ever changing and growing person and I embrace the fact I can and will make many mistakes along this path of life I walk. By accepting myself as is I also have learned to accept others for who and what they are. Not one person can be perfect nor can they be accepted and/or liked by everyone. I learned one of the greatest gifts one can give and receive (besides Love) is forgiveness. For forgiveness is one of those things that usually return to you 7 fold down the line. Just like Jesus taught us, we must love and forgive freely and not be swayed by anger or envy. Selfishness is one of the biggest enemies of being happy and living a full life. Selfishness keeps us from loving and forgiving others, it keeps our focus on ourselves and not on the world in full. We may be individuals but we are also a part of a huge family called humanity. We must learn to love and accept ourselves before we learn to love and accept those around us. Love is something that starts as a seed within and grows outward and so is all the other emotions related to it. To love yourself is not to be selfish it is to be selfless, for loving yourself leads to loving others and is a required first step towards happiness. There is always going to be someone you have a hard time liking but this does not mean you can not love them is a general sense. There have been many who I have not liked so much in my life but I still loved them as a human being.  Hate the sin not the sinner and love the person but not their faults or actions.

I am who I am and you are who you are, We are two unique people with different views but both of us want the same thing and that is to live a happy life. What our definition of happiness is may differ but we both still long for and strive towards that same goal. I pray and hope you will find that happiness as much as I hope I find mine.

Not one person is alike, yet we all desire to be happy.

Raymond Barbier

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Fear, The Enemy of Success and of Happiness.

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tpl_7_ppl  Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.

The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

  In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.

 

Just some random thoughts on fear

Raymond Barbier

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Be true to who and what you are.

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023  Be true to yourself, do not hold back the real you within. The person you are that you hide from the world in fear of not being accepted or being the odd man out. If you put on a mask in order to fit in or to be liked then all you’re doing is living a lie. Appearing to be what you’re not is the most ineffective means of being happy. Withholding your true feelings out of fear or not expressing your true opinion is but a quick way to both low self-esteem and unhappiness.

There will always be those that don’t like you no matter what you say or do. I ask, does it matter if they like you or not if they wont like you for who you really are? The people who like the real you are the only true friends you have. those who seem to like you because you put on a mask or because you pretend to agree are not friends at all. Plus it is nothing but a disservice to them if you are not being the real you and so is falsely agreeing with them .

There is no pride in being the social actor and yes man/woman. Be proud of who and what you are, for you are a unique and special individual. You have purpose and you are an important part of this world we live in. Every one of us are unique and we are all special in the fact we are part of the great experience called life. Worry not so much about the opinion of others for the only opinions about you that matter is your own.

Focus on your good points and learn to overcome the shortcomings you can and accept those you can’t. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make and avoid repeating the same ones over again. Learn to love yourself as well as others, For we all are human and we all make mistakes.

Be true to who and what you are.
Raymond Barbier

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Many days were wasted

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HPIM0109 The older I get the more I realize how much time I wasted in my lifetime. Wasting time on worry, anger, fear and self-doubt. I spent way too many hours worrying about what other people think about me or if I was accepted or not. Many days were wasted fearing things that either were unlikely to happen or were out of my control. I spent too much time and energy on being angry at how my life isn’t what I planned or being angry at someone over something trivial. Though anger in me is usually short-lived it still is a waste of time far as I am concerned.

So much time I wasted on useless things that could have been used to enjoy life and to enjoy the people who I am around. To live for the day or seize the moment is the philosophy I try to follow. Though there is times I still get hung up on the past or have a little fear of what may come it usually has a very short half-life. I am trying to focus on the positive as well as embracing the blessings that are before me. The past is said and done and the future can wait for tomorrow.

Enjoy those who are in your life as you embrace the blessing that you have been granted. Forget about the curses that may plague you for they will pass. Don’t allow yourself to make life any more complicated than necessary. Happiness is as much of a choice as being unhappy and life is what you make of it.

 

Well enough Random Thoughts for now.
Raymond Barbier

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Live life instead of just trying to survive

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002 I look back on my life and see the days,weeks and years I wasted in depression, denial and in self-deception. How many times I lived my day to please others or longing for approval by my peers. Always looking for my happiness through those around me and ignoring if not neglecting the one person that can make me happy, “ME”. Others may be able to contribute to my happiness along with my unhappiness but the decision to be happy  is mine alone. The opinion of others can be a double edge sword for some will like you and others will either despise you or be jealous of you for some stupid reason or another. The only persons opinion you should care about when it comes to yourself is your own. If you do not like, love or appreciate yourself  then no one else will either.

All that time I wasted worrying about if I met the standards of those I cared about and if I was good enough to be where I was in life could have been spent trying to be the best version of the real me. If a person does not accept you for who you truly are then that person is not one that will ever accept you and you should move on. Being we all have both good and bad points to our personalities and that we all make mistakes along the way I can see no reason why we all can’t just accept each other as who we really are. Too many masks we have to wear in our daily lives to satisfy the many people we interact with. Shed the masks and be yourself, succeed and fail as the real you and refine your better qualities while trying to control the less needed ones.

By being your true self you may find that people will like you even more than before and those that don’t wont matter as much to you once you accept yourself as is. One thing I do believe is each and every one of us are unique and possess our own strengths if not special qualities. Figure out your strong points and find your unique abilities and use them to their fullest. Live life instead of just trying to survive, enjoy the simple things and avoid making life more complicated than it really is.

Well that’s just some of my thoughts for you to think about.

Peace be your guide and be yourself.

Raymond Barbier

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Just some babbling about the self and happiness

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014 I often have wondered what is the secret to a happy life and for the most part the answers seemed to change with each situation I experienced during the course of my life. So needles to say the answers I thought were correct were just reflections or shadows of the true secret. The real question is if there is a secret to living a happy life or not. Obviously no one can be happy 100% of the time and I am not even sure that only one secret or answer could be found to the question.  The main thing I have learned is one must let go of the prioritization of the self and its desires. The self is the most time and resource consuming part of being a sentient being. Since the self must exist in order for one to be self aware / sentient then we must learn to restrain its ever present demanding voice.

The tendency for humans to be selfish and self centered is basically a natural part of our psyche and though it can not be totally avoided it can be muffled or muted. Therefore Discipline of the mind is also one of the secrets of a happy life, for without mental discipline the self would become center of all and selfishness would be the main controlling factor in our daily lives. To sustain the self and to take care of its needs is something we must do, but to fulfill its wants and desires is something we can all together control or avoid. The self  usually is like a little child who is spoiled and gets all he or she wants with no restriction. In a disciplined mind the self learns that not all it wants will be fulfilled and that there is higher priorities that must be focused on.

Having concern for the welfare of others seems to be somewhat instinctual to most humans though I have noticed a few people who seem to have no concern for others. This is probably because they allow the self to take high priority to the point of selfishness and become apathetic to the concerns of things that are not of any benefit to themselves. For most of us though the welfare of others usually plays at least a small part in our lives if not a major one. Being social creatures that seem to group up to survive and thrive makes the welfare of others a necessity in maintaining the group.

Maybe a lot of the problem in modern society is that not everyone has a social place, there is a lot of people who are just transient social outcasts. People that are either not accepted by the social circles of modern society or who never could find where they belong. Without purpose socially they seem to either become a social ostrich or turtle by hiding their head in the sand and or retracting into their protective shell. This makes them feel unwanted or unneeded so they float from one social circle to the other having no purpose or destination.

So I guess the secret to happiness is to find your place in society and be needed as well as being satisfied with what blessing you have. To care for others and put the self second to the more important things of life. Maybe there really isn’t no real secret or just one formula to happiness, maybe the secret is to find your own path to walk.

Well enough of my truly random thoughts and babbling

Peace

Raymond Barbier

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