The words you speak, the actions you take and how you treat others is what truly defines who you are

003 When our life comes to an end do you want to be remembered as the person who was angry and full of bitterness or as the person who knew no stranger and brought happiness or compassion wherever they went? Will they see you as a great loss to the community or just another poor soul they knew. So many get caught up in greed and self-satisfaction only to find themselves either disliked by many or forgotten by all those around them. No person can be positive all the time but we should strive to be positive and to be an example for others around us.  How we act and how we treat others is what we are judged on by our peers and will be the defining factor of how we are remembered after our time is up.

Though it may be a bit grim if not morbid to think about how others will remember you in the end, but that is part of being a mortal being as we humans are. All of our possessions, wealth and personal triumphs will be forgotten but how we lived our life along how we treated others will remain beyond our lifetime. Some will  wonder why would it matter what others remember you as after you die? Well I guess to some people it makes no difference, for as I am concerned it not that important but if I am remembered it would be better if it was in the positive. All we really have here on earth that no one can take from us is who and what we are and how we decide to interact with the world.

I guess the point I am trying to get across is that the words you speak, the actions you take and how you treat others is what truly defines who you are. The question is how do you want others to perceive you while you are living and how would you like to remembered in life as well as beyond the grave.  Walk through life the way you would like to be known and remembered. For how you walk through life and what path you choose is your own choice to make and so is how you are perceived and remembered.

The law of attraction says that similar things attract one another. Murphy’s law says that if it can go wrong it will. Life does not always go by the rules  and seldom does it follow any of the laws.
Raymond Barbier

To be positive, compassionate and a bringer of good tidings is always the best path

016Sometimes I believe we all focus way too much on the negative side of life and our own faults. We tend to put way to much importance on those negative things and we do so to the point of leaving very little time for the positive things in ourselves and our lives. Negative things and thoughts become a distraction from the good things in life and the goodness within our hearts and minds. We should give less priority to those negative thoughts and things and put more effort in being positive and enjoying life. It seems like it so much harder to help others when you are overwhelmed with worries and negativity, and when you do good for others the weight of the negativity in your life seems a lot lighter. Fear, worry, sadness and hate just wear you down and they weigh down the heart. They consume all of your time as well as your energy, they are the robbers of happiness and life. Being a positive influence and doing good things such as helping others can raise your spirit as well as your energy levels. Plus the more positive thoughts and actions you put into action the more positivity comes into your life.

Why allow the negative things in life to bring you down, doing so does not change the situation and it just adds to the grief as well as your stress. To be positive, compassionate and a bringer of good tidings is always the best path to follow for it brings you happiness and inner peace. Life will always have its ups and downs but how you decide to react to both is what determines how happy you will be.

We are at our best when we let compassion and love be our guides through life.
Raymond Barbier

Keeping faith, Update on Trish’s Cancer… Possible Good news.

03.365 (02.08.2009) Faith

03.365 (02.08.2009) Faith (Photo credit: hannahclark)

update: possibly it is not a tumor, ultrasounds don’t show conclusive. Waiting on Cat scan results. Keep your fingers Crossed and Prayers coming. BTW thanks to all the support from my Friends. Trish sends her thanks too. Well the next update wont be until monday. Then we should know for sure.

Keeping the faith when all is great is easy; keeping the faith when all is falling apart is true faith.

Today I am trying to keep positive in mind and spirit, even facing the news that cancer has returned into my fiancé’s life. She had Thyroid Cancer about 10 years ago and a relapse about 7 years ago and now another relapse. They are not 100% sure so they are doing a biopsy today, though it’s more than likely cancer due to where the growth is located. I am asking all the bloggers out there and my followers to send positive thoughts and say prayers for Patricia Hamblin. I place her and the cancer into the hands of god and into the hands of those who can pray. God bless you all.

Keeping the faith when all is great is easy; keeping the faith when all is falling apart is true faith.

Raymond Barbier

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Send positivity back to the source

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Negativity, something we all must face from sources both inward and externally. How does one deal with negativity? I know of only three ways of dealing with negativity either you absorb it , avoid it or try to convert it to positivity. Absorbing it or internalizing it causes too much stress on one’s body and mind, avoiding it which is my first choice usually is a very hard thing to do. Converting it is  to temporarily absorb it and to convert it into positivity in the hopes of returning the positivity to the one who sent the negativity. The third choice is not easy to master and takes quite a bit of effort but in the end is the best choice. Not only do you rid yourself of the negativity but you send positivity back to the source which will dilute the negativity remaining in it.  Also I notice if you are very positive minded and charged it seems to repel a lot of negativity and usually attracts more positive people. There of course is always a few negative people who charge straight at the positive, they seem to find some kind of enjoyment out of causing others to suffer along with them. I guess the old saying is true “Suffering Loves Company”…

I am but a student of life and am still in search of better ways to face the problems of modern life as well as the human dilemma. I share what I find and hope to learn more as I go and grow. I never claim I know the only answer or even the right answer, I just relay what I have found to work and so far has proven to be true. For I am only a fool seeking to be a sage who looks for fellow travelers along the way.

 

Peace and Love to all

Raymond Barbier

an invitation to be kind or to smile

p10328 To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.

A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes.  The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so.  So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness.  Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.

God Bless

Raymond Barbier

Beyond the trap of following the social ideals

newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?

 

 

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

Change, acceptance and fear

003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

Fear, The Enemy of Success and of Happiness.

tpl_7_ppl  Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.

The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

  In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.

 

Just some random thoughts on fear

Raymond Barbier

Not even happiness can exist indefinitely

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Emotions, friend or foe to the modem man? Both, for without emotions we would be nothing but uninspired automatons. Each emotion serves a purpose and some emotions serve several functions. Fear is meant to protect our physical body by directing us away from things that endanger our well-being. Anger serves as a protector emotion by putting us in fight mode when there is either no escape or we feel secure enough to fight. Happiness is an emotion that inspires us to be creative and social so we can grow culturally as well as socially. Sadness keeps us rooted in reality, it reminds us that loss is a part of life as well as the constant reminder of our mortality. Even jealousy can serve a good purpose, for it shows that we cherish our mate when it is over a person and inspires us to work harder so we can better our life when it is jealousy over possessions. Each one of these emotions can either serve us in a positive or negative fashion and which way it does is based on our ability to control them.

Since emotions are a necessary part of our physical experience they should never be shut off or suppressed. The negative aspects of our emotions will exist and even though we can not turn them off we can learn to make them short-lived as well as temper their impact on both ourselves and others. They must be expressed and allowed to come to fruition but they can be channeled into a less destructive way of expression. Surprising them are an unhealthy way to control them and causes a lot of physical side effects that can create an unhealthy body. This is one of the most common ways people get high stress levels, and that in turn creates health problems such as high blood pressure and mental problems such as depression and even nervous breakdowns in the long run. One way to express the negative emotions with little impact on others is to write a journal or log and express them through writing. This gives them an outlet but restricts the negative effects. Express them and then let them go, for no emotion is meant to be permanent. Not even happiness can exist indefinitely, though it would be nice to be in permanent euphoria but it would be unproductive and probably would be troublesome down the line.

Seize the moment, Leave the past and hope for the future.
Raymond Barbier