an invitation to be kind or to smile


p10328 To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.

A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes.  The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so.  So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness.  Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.

God Bless

Raymond Barbier

What our definition of happiness is may differ


008 I am who and what I am, full of faults and shortcomings that I have learned to accept. I am no stud or intellectual giant but I have finer points that few ever see or notice. My uniqueness is something I treasure and will never hide from others. I used to be so concerned about what others thought of me, but I have learned that what they think about me is less important than what I think about myself. I have leaned to love me for who and what I am. Take me for what I am or do not take me at all, for I am the sum of all my experiences though life and the person I have become within. I am an ever changing and growing person and I embrace the fact I can and will make many mistakes along this path of life I walk. By accepting myself as is I also have learned to accept others for who and what they are. Not one person can be perfect nor can they be accepted and/or liked by everyone. I learned one of the greatest gifts one can give and receive (besides Love) is forgiveness. For forgiveness is one of those things that usually return to you 7 fold down the line. Just like Jesus taught us, we must love and forgive freely and not be swayed by anger or envy. Selfishness is one of the biggest enemies of being happy and living a full life. Selfishness keeps us from loving and forgiving others, it keeps our focus on ourselves and not on the world in full. We may be individuals but we are also a part of a huge family called humanity. We must learn to love and accept ourselves before we learn to love and accept those around us. Love is something that starts as a seed within and grows outward and so is all the other emotions related to it. To love yourself is not to be selfish it is to be selfless, for loving yourself leads to loving others and is a required first step towards happiness. There is always going to be someone you have a hard time liking but this does not mean you can not love them is a general sense. There have been many who I have not liked so much in my life but I still loved them as a human being.  Hate the sin not the sinner and love the person but not their faults or actions.

I am who I am and you are who you are, We are two unique people with different views but both of us want the same thing and that is to live a happy life. What our definition of happiness is may differ but we both still long for and strive towards that same goal. I pray and hope you will find that happiness as much as I hope I find mine.

Not one person is alike, yet we all desire to be happy.

Raymond Barbier

Be true to who and what you are.


023  Be true to yourself, do not hold back the real you within. The person you are that you hide from the world in fear of not being accepted or being the odd man out. If you put on a mask in order to fit in or to be liked then all you’re doing is living a lie. Appearing to be what you’re not is the most ineffective means of being happy. Withholding your true feelings out of fear or not expressing your true opinion is but a quick way to both low self-esteem and unhappiness.

There will always be those that don’t like you no matter what you say or do. I ask, does it matter if they like you or not if they wont like you for who you really are? The people who like the real you are the only true friends you have. those who seem to like you because you put on a mask or because you pretend to agree are not friends at all. Plus it is nothing but a disservice to them if you are not being the real you and so is falsely agreeing with them .

There is no pride in being the social actor and yes man/woman. Be proud of who and what you are, for you are a unique and special individual. You have purpose and you are an important part of this world we live in. Every one of us are unique and we are all special in the fact we are part of the great experience called life. Worry not so much about the opinion of others for the only opinions about you that matter is your own.

Focus on your good points and learn to overcome the shortcomings you can and accept those you can’t. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make and avoid repeating the same ones over again. Learn to love yourself as well as others, For we all are human and we all make mistakes.

Be true to who and what you are.
Raymond Barbier

Many days were wasted


HPIM0109 The older I get the more I realize how much time I wasted in my lifetime. Wasting time on worry, anger, fear and self-doubt. I spent way too many hours worrying about what other people think about me or if I was accepted or not. Many days were wasted fearing things that either were unlikely to happen or were out of my control. I spent too much time and energy on being angry at how my life isn’t what I planned or being angry at someone over something trivial. Though anger in me is usually short-lived it still is a waste of time far as I am concerned.

So much time I wasted on useless things that could have been used to enjoy life and to enjoy the people who I am around. To live for the day or seize the moment is the philosophy I try to follow. Though there is times I still get hung up on the past or have a little fear of what may come it usually has a very short half-life. I am trying to focus on the positive as well as embracing the blessings that are before me. The past is said and done and the future can wait for tomorrow.

Enjoy those who are in your life as you embrace the blessing that you have been granted. Forget about the curses that may plague you for they will pass. Don’t allow yourself to make life any more complicated than necessary. Happiness is as much of a choice as being unhappy and life is what you make of it.

 

Well enough Random Thoughts for now.
Raymond Barbier

Live life instead of just trying to survive


002 I look back on my life and see the days,weeks and years I wasted in depression, denial and in self-deception. How many times I lived my day to please others or longing for approval by my peers. Always looking for my happiness through those around me and ignoring if not neglecting the one person that can make me happy, “ME”. Others may be able to contribute to my happiness along with my unhappiness but the decision to be happy  is mine alone. The opinion of others can be a double edge sword for some will like you and others will either despise you or be jealous of you for some stupid reason or another. The only persons opinion you should care about when it comes to yourself is your own. If you do not like, love or appreciate yourself  then no one else will either.

All that time I wasted worrying about if I met the standards of those I cared about and if I was good enough to be where I was in life could have been spent trying to be the best version of the real me. If a person does not accept you for who you truly are then that person is not one that will ever accept you and you should move on. Being we all have both good and bad points to our personalities and that we all make mistakes along the way I can see no reason why we all can’t just accept each other as who we really are. Too many masks we have to wear in our daily lives to satisfy the many people we interact with. Shed the masks and be yourself, succeed and fail as the real you and refine your better qualities while trying to control the less needed ones.

By being your true self you may find that people will like you even more than before and those that don’t wont matter as much to you once you accept yourself as is. One thing I do believe is each and every one of us are unique and possess our own strengths if not special qualities. Figure out your strong points and find your unique abilities and use them to their fullest. Live life instead of just trying to survive, enjoy the simple things and avoid making life more complicated than it really is.

Well that’s just some of my thoughts for you to think about.

Peace be your guide and be yourself.

Raymond Barbier

Take out the trash


028  Self image is both the creator and destroyer of ones happiness.in life. Without a good self image and some self confidence its very hard to keep a positive attitude or to maintain any level of happiness. Low self esteem is the major cause of self doubt, poor self image and some forms of depression, if one wishes to be happy one must elevate their self esteem and create a positive self image. The problem is most people have so much emotional and mental garbage stored in their memories it makes it a very hard task to achieve any type of good self image or self esteem.

  First thing we must do in order to create a positive self image and to elevate our self esteem is to take out the trash. We have to face each and every negative thought about ourselves and either accept them or disprove them. Those that are factual and accepted then must be overcame or learned to be an accepted fault within ourselves. I have noticed that if I make a mistake it is far worse a crime than if someone else does. I am far more severe on myself than I would ever be on any other human being. This is not a balanced view of life and causes me to have a very poor self image and low self-esteem.

  Besides being a strict judge of my own life I also hold on to the judgment of others such as my parents, sibling and peers. Even though I understand that most of the judgments passed on me were usually wrong if not just exaggerated  ones, it takes time to root out those old scars and demons hidden in my psyche. I have learned that to put the hurts and pains caused by others in the past I had to forgive them as well as myself for the transgressions and misjudgments.committed on both sides. No matter who or where the scars and demons I have came from, I am the one responsible for holding on to them all these years.

  We are the masters of our own destinies and fates, external forces may effect our course but we ultimately choose our own destination.In the end. It is our own choices that form our self image and effect our self esteem. Freewill does not come without a cost and nor does it come without rewards.

  Enough of my babbling for today.
Peace and Love be your Guides in life
Raymond Barbier