There has been times in my life I allowed my low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence to stop me from getting a good job or just getting a job done. The only thing that stood in my way of getting the job or doing the job was my own self. Like others I allowed my fears, insecurities and self-doubt to limit me and keep me from the possibilities that were before me. It is so easy to excuse your way through life, never to face change and never to leave your comfort zone. The cost of living in such a way in the end is quite high, you miss so much of life and you never get to experience life as the person you were born to be.
I have learned you can blame others for the bad things in your life all you want, but the truth is that you alone make the choices that creates what your life is like, going to change into and ultimately will become. It is your choice if you allow others to influence and/or control aspects of your life. Others only have the power that you allow them to have over you and your life.
So it all boils down to what choices you make and what external influences you allow to play a part in your life. The choice is always yours, even when you choose to allow others to make a choice for you.
Your life is the sum of the experiences you have had and the choices you have both made and avoided.
Ever since I was a kid I loved to write songs, poetry and even some philosophy. I do not know what drove my mind to be so contemplative but it has been that way all my life. Some of it was probably my low self-esteem or poor self-image I have had to battle throughout my life. Some of it was from my disappointment in how our world works, the unfairness and the lack of balance this world has. A lot of it was the hopefulness within my inner self. I have always sought out the silver lining in every situation and for the most part I still do. With age comes wisdom but also age brings cynicism and doubtfulness. Don’t understand why but the older I get the harder it is to keep the positive attitude and hopefulness within me alive. it could be the fact as we grow older we face our own mortality and therefore we become bitter or jaded because we think we have been cheated in life somehow. This of course isn’t true, we were the ones who chose the path we have been on and how and what life brought to us up to this day. There are some things that we didn’t have any choice on in life but for the most part we are what we made ourselves to be. So being bitter or feeling jaded in the end is nothing but self-pity and useless. We can always change our path, our minds and our life if we put our heart and soul into it. We can’t undo the past but we can make us a new destination and path to walk as well. This is the gift of freewill God has given humanity, we have the freedom to choose and the option to allow his will to guide our choices as well.
Writing is the expression of my heart, soul and mind. It is the sum of what I feel, think and believe. It is like a map to my future that changes and grows with each word I type and eventually it will become the signposts I had left behind for others to follow and/or view. It is my freewill being expressed through my thoughts and emotions.
We only have a short time on earth to experience all its wonders and to find our true path in life. We should be kind to others and seek out harmony with all life and walk our path we have chosen in peace.
You are good, you did good, you are going to be okay and everything will be all right. Words we all have longed to hear at one point or another in life. We need encouragement from others and we always need assurance that everything will be all right. We should always be messengers of hope, encouragement and builders of self-esteem. We are all in this life together and each of us has both strengths and weaknesses. We all need a helping hand or encouraging word or two from time to time to help us keep the faith and so we can carry on. We need to walk through life being compassionate towards one another, we should help carry the load of our brothers and sisters. Smile at one another, speak good words about and to each other and help each other with the burdens of life.
We need to put our selfish side of our nature aside and embrace the side of love and fellowship. We can love one another without condition and we can easily learn to be as one big family on earth. Religion, political views, nationality, race, sex or any other differences we have can easily be put aside for the good of humanity as a whole. We are all humans after all, we all share a distant but common ancestry. We all are in this together and we should be wise enough to be at peace and be compassionate with one another. There is plenty of food and wealth to go around if we learn to be as one big family. What good is wealth or abundance of food if you are not sharing those blessings with others? What good is love if it is conditional or only shared with a select few?
We are capable of such greatness but unfortunately we seem to limit our own abilities. Sad but true but I still hold hope for humanity to one day grow enough spiritually / emotionally to become the great species we are capable of being. If we are every to grow into such a species we have to start with being compassionate with each other and with our own selves. We still have a long way to go before we become the great species of humanity.
Be compassionate, smile at one another, love one another as brothers and sisters and be charitable and generous with all.
To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.
A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes. The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so. So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness. Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.
Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.
The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt
In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.
Just some random thoughts on fear
Be true to yourself, do not hold back the real you within. The person you are that you hide from the world in fear of not being accepted or being the odd man out. If you put on a mask in order to fit in or to be liked then all you’re doing is living a lie. Appearing to be what you’re not is the most ineffective means of being happy. Withholding your true feelings out of fear or not expressing your true opinion is but a quick way to both low self-esteem and unhappiness.
There will always be those that don’t like you no matter what you say or do. I ask, does it matter if they like you or not if they wont like you for who you really are? The people who like the real you are the only true friends you have. those who seem to like you because you put on a mask or because you pretend to agree are not friends at all. Plus it is nothing but a disservice to them if you are not being the real you and so is falsely agreeing with them .
There is no pride in being the social actor and yes man/woman. Be proud of who and what you are, for you are a unique and special individual. You have purpose and you are an important part of this world we live in. Every one of us are unique and we are all special in the fact we are part of the great experience called life. Worry not so much about the opinion of others for the only opinions about you that matter is your own.
Focus on your good points and learn to overcome the shortcomings you can and accept those you can’t. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you make and avoid repeating the same ones over again. Learn to love yourself as well as others, For we all are human and we all make mistakes.
Be true to who and what you are.
Self image is both the creator and destroyer of ones happiness.in life. Without a good self image and some self confidence its very hard to keep a positive attitude or to maintain any level of happiness. Low self esteem is the major cause of self doubt, poor self image and some forms of depression, if one wishes to be happy one must elevate their self esteem and create a positive self image. The problem is most people have so much emotional and mental garbage stored in their memories it makes it a very hard task to achieve any type of good self image or self esteem.
First thing we must do in order to create a positive self image and to elevate our self esteem is to take out the trash. We have to face each and every negative thought about ourselves and either accept them or disprove them. Those that are factual and accepted then must be overcame or learned to be an accepted fault within ourselves. I have noticed that if I make a mistake it is far worse a crime than if someone else does. I am far more severe on myself than I would ever be on any other human being. This is not a balanced view of life and causes me to have a very poor self image and low self-esteem.
Besides being a strict judge of my own life I also hold on to the judgment of others such as my parents, sibling and peers. Even though I understand that most of the judgments passed on me were usually wrong if not just exaggerated ones, it takes time to root out those old scars and demons hidden in my psyche. I have learned that to put the hurts and pains caused by others in the past I had to forgive them as well as myself for the transgressions and misjudgments.committed on both sides. No matter who or where the scars and demons I have came from, I am the one responsible for holding on to them all these years.
We are the masters of our own destinies and fates, external forces may effect our course but we ultimately choose our own destination.In the end. It is our own choices that form our self image and effect our self esteem. Freewill does not come without a cost and nor does it come without rewards.
Enough of my babbling for today.
Peace and Love be your Guides in life