Tag Archives: Self-esteem

have love as well as compassion towards one another.


017See that person next to you? they too have feelings, they also have struggles in life and they have as much importance as you do in the universe. Step outside your “Me, Myself and I” box and realize you are not alone nor are you the center of the universe anymore so than the guy or gal next to you.  Even those élite socialites and so-called alpha males and females that strut around as if they were superior, they too are your equals. They just live in a fantasy where they believe they are better in one fashion or another. The only difference between them and the rest of us is either good circumstances, random chance and of course probably some hard work or positive thinking and a lot of right choices.

Positive attitude plays a big part in both our self-image and self-esteem which in turn helps set the course of our life path.  How we perceive and how we treat others plays a big part in it all as well, if we know in the grand scheme of things we all have the same worth and that neither one or another is greater than the other, we then see people for who and what they truly are.  So the next time you see a beggar or a wealthy person see them as they are, just human beings trying to survive and trying to do so as best they can.  No malice should be aimed toward either and both should be subject to the same amount of love and basic respect that all living creatures deserve.

I have known both beggars and wealthy people in my life and they are pretty much the same far as wants, needs and basic desires. They both want to have their needs of food, lodging and the basic necessities, they both long to be accepted, loved and to be happy in their existence. The only real difference is what hand they were dealt in life and how they played the game.

The true riches of life are things like family, love,friendship and being happy with the blessings you have. To have peace within and finding contentment within ones life is the truest form or wealth. Possessions  tend to eventually possess the beholder and so it seems so does wealth. Greed and Envy drive the economies of the modern world more so than our needs.

So greet each other as equals and have love as well as compassion towards one another. For we are all part of the massive family we call human kind. Put greed and envy in the Trash Bin where it belongs and live life in the fullest. Be yourself and accept others for who they are.

Raymond Barbier

random thoughts–1/28/2014


HPIM0319To Love others as God loves us, this is what we were taught to do yet we seem to miss that mark so easily. Why is it so hard to accept and love one another unconditionally? What makes us want to either judge others hastily and without compassion or causes us to choose to deny others love. We all want to be loved, accepted and to be a part of a group or community, but we tend to deny ourselves these things as much as we deny it to others due to our image of what we think makes one worthy of such.

The fact is we all deserve love, acceptance and to be a part of a community. God gave us his love so we could spread his love and cause it to multiply between us all. We all belong to the great community of humankind even though some people believe otherwise. No man s greater or lesser than his brother in the eyes of God nor is any person without sin or fault. To declare or to put oneself above another is but vanity and self centeredness in its purest form.

To claim to be wise usually is a sign one is a fool, to see that you are but a fool is usually the first step towards wisdom. To know thyself with out self-delusion or self-glorification is to be humble and to see the truth of what one is. I claim not to know the answers I only claim to know some of the questions and express that which I believe and understand as theoretical ideals.  I urge you to seek your own answers in life for you are responsible for what you choose to believe and what you teach others directly or indirectly.

Live life to the fullest, but do so with compassion and a charitable heart. Forgive not only others,also learn to forgive your own self, for one must face their own shortcomings and go beyond them in order to see the grace in forgiveness. Think for your self and follow not the mainstream ideology, for the path to ruin is wide and so is the path to hell. Seek the truth and be not persuaded by wolves in sheep’s clothing, for many profess to be leaders in Christ and are but men of wealth and greed.

I am but a fool who seeks to become wise, I am but a man who tries to be a good man, nothing else.

Ray Barbier

Who and what we truly are


002Why do we allow the opinions of others to effect our self-image, emotions and outlook on life. We tend to seek acceptance and reassurance from others, we learned this behavior as children. We need to see that though opinions of others have meaning and some weight, that our own opinions are just as important if not more so when it comes to our self. Others do not know you as you know yourself and they usually judge you on preconceived notions based on just one if not a few encounters they had with you. They don’t know your heart or mind, they have little fact or evidence to support their impression of your personality.

Even those that have known you for years still may not truly know who you are truly. Sometimes we do not even know ourselves as good as we should. We tend to be like a chameleon and change with the crowd and circumstances around us to blend in. We try to blend in and we rarely show our true selves out of fear of not being accepted or loved. The problem with being a chameleon or being a person who tries to fit in by putting on a mask is that we are never accepted or loved for who we are. Thus we are not accepted or loved at all, for they love the part we play not for who and what we are.

We try to kid ourselves they love us and accept us even though they see a disguise not our true image. But deep inside we will know is all a lie and falsehood. So it is far better to be loved and accepted by a few as who and what we truly are then to be loved and accepted by many for who we are not.

Be yourself, Believe in yourself and Be true to yourself. Worry not of the opinions of others and love yourself for who you are.

Ray Barbier

My own self


p10104 There has been times in my life I allowed my low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence to stop me from getting a good job or just getting a job done. The only thing that stood in my way of getting the job or doing the job was my own self. Like others I allowed my fears, insecurities and self-doubt to limit me and keep me from the possibilities that were before me. It is so easy to excuse your way through life, never to face change and never to leave your comfort zone. The cost of living in such a way in the end is quite high, you miss so much of life and you never get to experience life as the person you were born to be.

I have learned you can blame others for the bad things in your life all you want, but the truth is that you alone make the choices that creates what your life is like, going to change into and ultimately will become. It is your choice if you allow others to influence and/or control aspects of your life. Others only have the power that you allow them to have over you and your life.

tpl0008So it all boils down to what choices you make and what external influences you allow to play a part in your life. The choice is always yours, even when you choose to allow others to make a choice for you.

Your life is the sum of the experiences you have had and the choices you have both made and avoided.

Ray Barbier

what I don’t like about myself I try to change and what I like about myself I try to improve.


004Sometimes I let what other people think of me bother me more than it should. If someone likes me or not is something I can not control and knowing that makes me see that they are going to think what they may no matter what I do or say. So do I really care if others lie me or not, well I would be lying if I said no, but it isn’t as important to me as it used to be for sure. All I can do is to try to be someone who I would like and try to be someone I could be proud of being. IF I am neither of those then I have a problem, I may not always love myself but what I don’t like about myself I try to change and what I like about myself I try to improve as well. It is an ever going challenge to improve oneself and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Be who you are and make who you are someone you could respect and love.

Ray Barbier

Writing, The Gift of Freewill and our path in life.


006 Ever since I was a kid I loved to write songs, poetry and even some philosophy. I do not know what drove my mind to be so contemplative but it has been that way all my life. Some of it was probably my low self-esteem  or poor self-image I have had to battle throughout my life. Some of it was from my disappointment in how our world works, the unfairness and the lack of balance this world has. A lot of it was the hopefulness within my inner self. I have always sought out the silver lining in every situation and for the most part I still do. With age comes wisdom but also age brings cynicism and doubtfulness. Don’t understand why but the older I get the harder it is to keep the positive attitude and hopefulness within me alive. it could be the fact as we grow older we face our own mortality and therefore we become bitter or jaded because we think we have been cheated in life somehow. This of course isn’t true, we were the ones who chose the path we have been on and how and what life brought to us up to this day. There are some things that we didn’t have any choice on in life but for the most part we are what we made ourselves to be. So being bitter or feeling jaded in the end is nothing but self-pity and useless. We can always change our path, our minds and our life if we put our heart and soul into it. We can’t undo the past but we can make us a new destination and path to walk as well. This is the gift of freewill God has given humanity, we have the freedom to choose and the option to allow his will to guide our choices as well.

Writing is the expression of my heart, soul and mind. It is the sum of what I feel, think and believe. It is like a map to my future that changes and grows with each word I type and eventually it will become the signposts I had left behind for others to follow and/or view. It is my freewill being expressed through my thoughts and emotions.

We only have a short time on earth to experience all its wonders and to find our true path in life. We should be kind to others and seek out harmony with all life and walk our path we have chosen in peace.

Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

A helping hand or encouraging word


Compassion

You are good, you did good, you are going to be okay and everything will be all right. Words we all have longed to hear at one point or another in life. We need encouragement from others and we always need assurance that everything will be all right. We should always be messengers of hope, encouragement and builders of self-esteem. We are all in this life together and each of us has both strengths and weaknesses. We all need a helping hand or encouraging word or two from time to time to help us keep the faith and so we can carry on.  We need to walk through life being compassionate towards one another, we should help carry the load of our brothers and sisters. Smile at one another, speak good words about and to each other and help each other with the burdens of life.

We need to put our selfish side of our nature aside and embrace the side of love and fellowship. We can love one another without condition and we can easily learn to be as one big family on earth. Religion, political views, nationality, race, sex or any other differences we have can easily be put aside for the good of humanity as a whole. We are all humans after all, we all share a distant but common ancestry. We all are in this together and we should be wise enough to be at peace and be compassionate with one another. There is plenty of food and wealth to go around if we learn to be as one big family. What good is wealth or abundance of food if you are not sharing those blessings with others? What good is love if it is conditional or only shared with a select few?

We are capable of such greatness but unfortunately we seem to limit our own abilities. Sad but true but I still hold hope for humanity to one day grow enough spiritually  / emotionally to become the great species we are capable of being. If we are every to grow into such a species we have to start with being compassionate with each other and with our own selves. We still have a long way to go before we become the great species of humanity.

Be compassionate, smile at one another, love one another as brothers and sisters and be charitable and generous with all.

Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

an invitation to be kind or to smile


p10328 To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.

A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes.  The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so.  So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness.  Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.

God Bless

Raymond Barbier

Beyond the trap of following the social ideals


newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?

 

 

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

Fear, The Enemy of Success and of Happiness.


tpl_7_ppl  Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.

The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
- Eleanor Roosevelt

  In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.

 

Just some random thoughts on fear

Raymond Barbier