Striving for the approval of others, living up to other people’s idea of what you should be is a waste of time if you must change who you truly are. You can not be someone you are not, you should focus on being yourself and growing as a person. Relying on being approved of by others only puts you in a position of being disappointed or frustrated. Sure when you comply and achieve what they see as acceptable you may get a short-lived burst of gratification but then you get right back to trying to earn approval again.
In the end, you just become what everyone else wants you to be instead of becoming who you want to be and who you were meant to be. Do not get me wrong, I do realize you have to accept the fact you must meet standards somewhat in order to exist in society and to make it in the workforce, but it does not mean you have to just hand over your life to either. Be yourself and find your own path to evolve upon, let others learn to accept you as you are, for if they don’t it’s not really acceptance.
Keep your integrity intact, follow your own philosophies but always be open-minded. Never allow yourself to become so rigid you can not see things from other peoples point of view. Accept yourself as is and do the same for others around you, for we all are but human and therefore we all have emotions and are prone to make some mistakes along the way.
The desire to be accepted by others is only natural, but when you have to change the core of who you are or if you have to lose integrity in order to be accepted it is unacceptable. Live with conviction, honor and always be true to yourself.
I have found at times we tend to get stuck in a certain way of thinking. We get focused on one or more negative thoughts that we for some reason we believe we can not let go of. If you focus on negative thoughts you leave no room or time for all the positive thoughts trying to break through. We allow outside influences to control or lead or way of thinking as well, mental and emotional discipline is something very few have at a high level and is something we all need and could use.
Many Eastern world philosophies and religions focus on centering the mind and controlling emotions. Methods such as meditation and physical arts such as Thai Chi and yoga also can help with mental/emotional discipline. To allow circumstances and external influence such as other people around us and their beliefs and opinions to control our mood and state of mind is basically surrendering all to chance and happenstance.
Humans have the unique ability to choose what they feel, think and do through their will, This is what makes humans one of the most unique species on the planet. When one learns to control their emotions and thoughts there is very little that person cannot do or face in life. Emotions such as fear, anger, jealousy, greed, and pride only hinder your true potential. They are the stumbling blocks of human existence and the enemy of our spiritual advancement.
Life is the greatest treasure we have and when we put material gain and self-gratification above our own life or that of others, we only lose sight of the things in life that truly matter. Take care of the material things but do not let the true treasures of life be put on the back burner.
Live life fully by your own will, treasure those things in life that truly matter to you and do not allow the opinions of others nor the trap of greed and envy stand in the way of your true happiness. Be the master of your mind and heart, live life as the master of your own destiny.
I have noticed sometimes we have this belief of who or what someone is, how they are etc. and never stop to think they may be totally different from how we perceive them. Most people put up a front, play out a part for others to see to hide who they are since they fear rejection or being vulnerable. life is like a grand masquerade, a play with no predetermined plot or ending. We all hide behind a mask of some sort, some may be close to whom we are and some are totally the opposite of the person inside. We all try to hide away what we consider our bad side or weak side so we do not put ourselves in harm’s way.
Sometimes we fear that we won’t be loved, accepted or that we may be chastised due to how we are different and in our minds how we d not make the grade perse. Problem with that is we will never be loved for who we truly are if we never show that side. It is ok to be weak at times, it is ok to be caring and it’s definitely ok not to be what society considers cool or acceptable. Those so-called Social standards are usually set too high and are so rigid and without any leeway that it makes it virtually impossible to be 100 percent within those standards. We forget they are supposed to be guidelines not laws, no one person is alike and therefore we all can not act and be the same. Would be a very dull and eventless society if we were to just be the same.
If it was not for some of the more eccentric and less socially acceptable people in human history many discoveries in science and inventions may have never been discovered or created until way later if not at all. Most of the greatest philosophers were either social outcasts or at least not socially well received. Humanity’s greatest treasure is its diversity, be it genetics or via the social and cultural differences. Those things are what helped humanity survive through many natural and unnatural disasters.
Point is, be yourself and don’t hide what makes you unique. Accept others for who and what they are, but do not let others force you to be anyone but yourself. Regardless of how you may feel, you are unique and special. You are just as good as anyone else and no one is better in any way than anyone else. We all are born, we all live, love, feel sad and in the end, we all die. We all are human beings and we all have the right to be happy and to believe in what we choose. We have the right to be wrong and to mistakes as well, it is a crucial part of how we learn and grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
Life is fleeting, shorter than we want to believe or know. We always believe tomorrow a person we love will be there by our side. We lose that person be it permanently due to death or in other ways such as divorce and regret not treating the other person better, loving them more than we did. We get so caught up in our own little reality bubble we forget about the importance of loving one another and enjoying the day with loved ones.
When they leave us and we face the loss we see that many of the things we believed were important really were of no importance. We put way too much above and before those we love, sometimes we even judge them by ridiculously high standards. Most of the time we expect others to live by our own self-imposed standards or even at a higher standard than we expect ourselves to live by. Instead, we should never impose standards on others, just accept them as the person they are. No person is perfect, nor are they going to think and behave the same as we do. That is individuality, the uniqueness of each person.
This does not mean we shouldn’t want others to improve, do better than they are in life. We should encourage growth and change in others. We just should not feel disappointed or angry if they do not progress as fast as we would like or if they chose to pursue a path we may see as wrong or dangerous. We should only advise one another and be accepting of the choices we all have the right to make on our own.
Love one another unconditionally, be good to one another, including your own self. Life is short, so do not waste it in regret or in judgment.