Personal – One Lifetime Blog

June 10, 2024June 10, 2024

Embracing Authenticity: The Path to Self-Discovery

For much of my life, I found myself unduly influenced by the perceptions of others, as well as those I presumed they held about me. This resulted in a continuous cycle of attempting to gain approval and adopting a persona contrary to my true self, all in pursuit of social acceptance and popularity. Regrettably, this led to many years spent neglecting my authentic identity and forsaking the individual I had the potential and obligation to become. Ultimately, I have come to realize that the only judgment that truly matters is my own, especially concerning my personal development and self-assessment.

In retrospect, I recognize that an excessive amount of time has been expended in regret over my actions and inactions, primarily due to an overarching concern for the opinions and expectations of others. Such a lifestyle has proven to be counterproductive, giving rise to numerous challenges related to one’s self-concept, including diminished self-esteem and an unhealthy emotional reliance on the validation of others. It is imperative to embrace one’s true self, pursue personal passions and principles, and lead a life that aligns with one’s desired self-image, ultimately cultivating a sense of self-love and pride.

It is a reassuring truth that the opportunity to cultivate self-love and embrace one’s true nature is not bound by time. Similarly, it is always possible to pursue one’s aspirations and evolve into the person one aspires to be. This journey begins with the release of apprehensions concerning the perceptions of others and fostering confidence in oneself. The most challenging aspect lies in introspection and the discovery of one’s authentic identity—a process that may grow more intricate with age. Nonetheless, this endeavor is far from unattainable; it merely requires dedication and a commitment to personal growth over time.

In conclusion, the journey towards self-acceptance and personal growth is a continuous process that requires conscious effort and dedication. It involves recognizing and releasing the constraints of external validation, while fostering a deep sense of self-worth and confidence. As one embarks on this path, it is essential to utilize resources that offer guidance and support.

For those seeking to enhance their professional development, resources such as Stanford Online’s guide on navigating professional growth ¹ , Harvard Business School Online’s insights on achieving professional development goals ² , and comprehensive personal development tools from MindGoals.org³ can be invaluable. Additionally, exploring self-acceptance exercises and activities from PositivePsychology.com⁴ and embracing self-awareness through Aaron Hall’s insights ⁵ can significantly contribute to one’s personal evolution.

Embracing oneself fully, with all the strengths and imperfections, is not only liberating but also empowering. It allows for a life lived with authenticity and purpose. Remember, the pursuit of self-discovery and self-improvement is not a destination but a lifelong voyage, one that is as rewarding as it is transformative.

Ray Barbier

November 9, 2023

Some Thoughts on life and being yourself

As we age, we may experience the loss of loved ones and our social circle may shrink. It can be challenging to find and maintain friendships. However, it is important to remember that life is no more complicated than it was when we were children. We just have more self-imposed rules and knowledge of how things appear to work.

Many of us stop having fun and being silly due to our fear of being judged by society. Age sometimes brings fear instead of wisdom, and that is something we all have to deal with to one degree or another. We learn to fear the judgment of others through our youth, we reign in parts of our personality in order to conform to what society dictates as normal or we follow the behavior patterns of those who appear popular in hopes of being popular ourselves.

However, as we age, we may get over wanting to be popular, but a good portion of us still crave to be accepted and liked. If we are fortunate, we may have grown wise enough to realize it is far better to be liked and accepted for who we truly are than to be behind a mask or playing a role. The thing is, we may not always be accepted by all. But we will always find a group of people who will like us and accept us regardless of whether we fit in society’s dictation of what is normal or popular or not.

The phrase “Be yourself” is an old but true adage that should be adhered to in life. Each one of us is unique, and those differences are what makes humanity capable of achieving such great things. To suppress the uniqueness within yourself is to hinder yourself from growing and moving forward in life. If you feel like you don’t know who you are, try thinking about what you like and dislike doing when you’re alone. The things you do or don’t do when no one is looking are the basics of who you are.

The key to showing that person off to others is to be okay with the fact that some people aren’t going to like it or understand it. Essentially, we hide our personalities because we’re fearful of others mocking us for it. We don’t want to be judged harshly. But the thing is, that doesn’t have to stop you from feeling good about who you are. That’s essentially what the people around you that you feel a need to impress are doing.

So if they can do it, why can’t you do it too? So what if you don’t live up to society’s expectations and do what everyone else is doing. It’s better than living a life that isn’t true to who you are and makes you unhappy. Be inspired and motivated to be true to the person you know yourself to be.

Ray Barbier

November 8, 2023

Cherishing Life and Love: A Reflection on Loss and Gratitude

With the deaths of my mother-in-law and sister-in-law all in the past week, it brings to mind the fragility and uncertainty of life. Life is not guaranteed beyond the moment you are in, and due to that fact, we should never take life or those in our lives for granted. We should love one another full-heartedly and unconditionally, and live in the moment and not in the past.

Life is fleeting and unpredictable. It’s important to cherish every moment we have with those we love. We should focus on the positive aspects of life, such as love, compassion, forgiveness, and friendship. These are the things that truly matter and make life worth living. Kindness and tolerance are also essential in today’s world, where differences can often divide us. We should strive to find common ground and celebrate our similarities, rather than focusing on our differences. By embracing these values, we can create a more loving and harmonious world.

Let us love one another, take care of each other, and be charitable to those who are less fortunate in this world. Let us be stewards of this world we live in, ambassadors for peace, and caregivers for those in need. Let us be thankful for each day, and show kindness to all we meet in life. By embracing these values, we can create a more loving and harmonious world.

God Bless

Ray Barbier

May 13, 2023May 13, 2023

Alone or Not? The Cosmic Mystery of UAPs and Alien Wonders

I have often wondered if we are alone in the universe or if there is life somewhere else. Space is so huge and varied, with many stars and planets that could support life in the right conditions. Maybe there is a civilization out there that is much older and more advanced than ours, or maybe only simple microbes and cells exist beyond our solar system.

My opinion is that we are not the only intelligent beings in the universe. There could be both more and less advanced races than us, depending on how long they have existed. I think the universe would be too empty if only one sentient species were inhabiting it. It makes more sense to have a diversity of species throughout the universe to spread and sustain life.

I don’t rule out the possibility that extraterrestrials have visited Earth and influenced our ancestors, but there is no clear evidence for that yet. I know that traveling across vast distances of space from another star system is beyond our current science and technology, but some older and more advanced races may have discovered ways to fold space, warp space, or use wormholes to shorten the travel time.

The Ancient Alien theory doesn’t resonate with me when it suggests that humans required alien support to build enormous structures and so on. That’s undervaluing human ingenuity and talents. Some ancient constructions are still amazing and challenging to reproduce with today’s technology, but that is not proof that some extraterrestrial species were involved in their creation.

The U.S. Government has recognized the existence of UAPs (previously called UFOs) and some of them have shown abilities beyond our current technology. This has cleared the way for the topic to be explored without stigma. This enables more serious scientific inquiry and open conversation on the phenomenon without the academic and social stigma that used to hinder it.

Many UFO enthusiasts and conspiracy theorists wonder if governments around the world have alien technology or contact and are keeping it secret from the public. If that is the case, I wouldn’t be shocked and I would think that revealing that they have been hiding that from the public would be something difficult for them to do without causing some kind of social turmoil or political fallout.

Sooner or later, the truth always emerges no matter how much they try to conceal it from the public. So they will probably try to find a way to disclose most of the truth but in a way to minimize the political and social repercussions of hiding the truth for so long. But as I said before, this is all speculation and theory when it comes to the possibility of the governments hiding the truth of their possession of alien spacecraft and technology or possible contact with such extraterrestrial beings.

I wish that if there are Extraterrestrial visitations and technology that our governments are hiding, that they will be revealed and found within my lifetime. Far as the religions of the world, I don’t think the discovery that we are not alone in the universe would cause any problems. Instead, I think it would just reinforce their belief and faith.

In conclusion, I have shared my thoughts and opinions on the possibility of life in the universe, the existence of UAPs, and the potential cover-up of alien technology and contact by the governments. I have also expressed my hope and curiosity to learn the truth in my lifetime, and my view on how the religions of the world would react to such a discovery. These are all speculative and theoretical topics, but they are fascinating and intriguing to explore.

Thank you for reading my blog post on the possibility of life in the universe and the mystery of UAPs. I’m curious to know your thoughts and feedback on this topic. Do you share or differ from my opinions? Do you have any queries or tips for me? Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment below and share your views. I appreciate your time and interest.

An open mind is a mind that is not frozen in preconceived beliefs.

Ray Barbier

May 12, 2023May 12, 2023

The Journey to Self Improvement.

I fight the inner demon of despair that haunts me every day. It feeds on the hurtful echoes of past hurts that scarred me deeply. I struggle to apply reason and logic to deal with the messy and twisted memories of the past that torment me. My self-image and self-esteem are often assaulted by self-hatred that comes from the circumstances and judgments of others in my past that made me feel unworthy and inadequate.

I wonder how I allowed such a strong enemy to enter my mind and take over my emotions and self-worth. How did I let it convince me that I am not good enough or deserving of happiness? I have achieved some goals in managing that darker side of myself, but I still have a long and hard journey ahead to find peace with myself and who I am. I still have to overcome many obstacles and challenges that test my resilience and courage.

I have to face it every day and every step until I can finally bury it for good. Each negative thought I have to challenge and scrutinize with courage, bringing out the truth and showing that most of those negative thoughts are false and have no proof to support them. I have to expose the lies and distortions that the inner demon tries to make me believe.

I am not faultless, but I am not a bad person either. I have to recognize my faults but also celebrate my good qualities. I have to acknowledge my mistakes but also learn from them. I have to remember that I am not alone in facing such things, almost everyone has that darker side trying to pull them down. But I also have a brighter side that shines with hope and kindness.

I embrace the opportunities I have to grow within myself, and I feel hopeful and optimistic because of the love of my friends and the tools I have acquired to handle that part of me. The key is to maintain a positive outlook and to appreciate the people who are with me in my journey of life. I have been overcoming this for a long time, and even though I have faced some difficulties, I have also achieved many successes.

Be Kind to yourself and others, and seek that which heals and creates while avoiding that which destroys.

Ray Barbier

April 2, 2023

The Loss of a Great Online Friend.

This weekend, I received some heartbreaking news about a long-time online friend from my favorite 3d platform called Activeworlds. She went by Dearheart in AW, but her real name was Fran Pagdin. She was a Retired Psychiatric nurse who lived in Australia. Though we were on different continents, and we were over a decade apart in age she was like an older sister to me. We originally met back in the mid to late 1990s online, though back then it was more of just an acquaintance, through the years we grew closer. The last 7 years of our friendship were the closest and the most endearing to me.

She was quite artistic in nature and that showed in her building style within active worlds and in the mosaics, she did in the real world as well. She was a very fair person, but she also was a warrior at heart. She quickly would come to defend a close friend or set her friends straight when they would go astray. She was a straightforward no nonsense kind of person, and she had a very sharp wit about her as well.

She had pride in her Son, Grandaughter, and daughter-in-law. She always would talk about them with me and you could hear the love and pride in how she spoke about them. She was a great part of my life even if it was only online and never in person. This goes to show it does not matter how one is a friend, be it online or in person. I will be sad for a long time for the loss of her companionship, though I am relieved she no longer has to suffer the pain she was in.

Remember to cherish your friends, be they online or in real life. There is no guarantee that any of us will see the next day. For good friends are hard to find, and even harder to find as you get older. Be Blessed and live long my friends.

Ray Barbier

March 29, 2023

Reflection, Retrospect and friends.

They say hindsight is 20/20, looking back on my life I realize I may have not always been the best person I could have been, I had done some of my best friends wrong. Most of the time it was unintentional, neither the less it was still a bad thing. To anyone I may have done wrong in my past, I hope you can forgive this foolish man for his wrongdoings.

Looking back I also realize how some of the smallest things I did do right helped some on their way in life. A few young teens made a successful life out of the technology industry after having a place to tinker around with computers etc. I will not claim any credit other than I gave them a place to sorta grow, it was all their talent and drive that made them the I.T. Specialists they are today.

I am proud of each and every one of them, though some of them have left our friendship in the past, it still makes me proud I had either played a very tiny part in their development or just got to watch them sprout from a seed to a seedling before the went off to become successful.

I too had friends that helped me grow, a few that carried me a long way too when I was down and out. To those people, I send the biggest thank you of all. I just wish I could repay those people, unfortunately financially I am not doing as well as I wish I was and time and distance have caused us all to grow apart.

Even if I never became what I wanted to be, I am proud to have been some tiny part of some people’s starting point. It makes me joyful to see those teens grown up, with a family of their own, and doing so well in life. I wish them a long, happy, and successful future.

Ray Barbier

March 2, 2023

Online Families, Real and Important

In this modern age, the old practice of writing letters between penpals has pretty much faded into the anals of history. Now it is all social media, online communities, email, and chat programs. Sometimes you get lucky and find yourself extended family online, and if you are really lucky you will find someone who is like a real family member. Just because you never meet physically does not mean the friendship you built is any less valid or important to you.

I have been fortunate enough to be a part of one such family, I belong to a community on a 3d environment platform called Activeworlds (www.activeworlds.com) and have been building 3d cities and worlds for decades along side some of the most unique individuals I have ever known. Sure the community is like a somewhat dysfunctional family at times but I love everyone there. Even those who probably do not like me very much.

Just like in real life, I have lost quite a few people who were like real family to me, most of them to death a few to circumstances or they just moved on for one reason or another. Each one of them as they left our community took a piece of me and the community with them. Currently, I am praying for a few of those people in Activeworlds that are dealing with some medical issues of their own. I also worry over one or two that decided to either leave the community or just decided to no longer communicate with me.

The point is, does not matter if it is online, or if its in real life. Friends are friends, and they all mean something to your heart and soul. Just don’t forget those friends online are real people and need your support and deserve respect as well. Cherrish them for there is no guarantee of how long any of us are here on this shiny blue marble we call home. That really goes for both online and real-life people, life is short so forgive, forget and embrace those in your life that you have been blessed with to have as family and friends.

Be good to one another, rememebr to be kind and respectful.

Ray Barbier

April 20, 2022

Random Thoughts 4/20/2022

People wonder why there is so much low self-esteem in the world, if you take a good look at television shows, commercials, social media, movies, and even the news on cable news stations you just may see some of the reasons for low self-esteem, but then there is also how one’s family treats them, their peers and the educational system.

When you are constantly bombarded with images of thin, fit, and muscular actors, advertisements aimed to push miracle vitamins and supplements to fix all your shortcomings, it is very hard to hold on to a good self-image and even harder to build it up. Constantly being told that having a perfect body weight, toned muscles, the right clothes, and accessories makes one beautiful and successful is making it hard for most people to maintain healthy self-esteem.

Unfortunately, fashion, the newest electronics, and possessions play a big part in teenage self-image, which makes it hard for those who don’t have the money to compete with their peers. Combining that with parents that have to work 2 jobs or inconvenient hours to maintain the quality of life they have only makes it harder on teenagers and kids.

The ones that seem to suffer the worst during school years are those that don’t quite fit the norm, the overweight, the below-average to average looking, and the sensitive passive individuals. Bullying from those who think they are cool, tougher, and better than others does not help the situation at all. The consequences of bullying are usually mild and it seems it’s hard to catch kids bullying or maybe some just overlook it.

Parents and siblings also play a large part in the development of a child’s self-esteem, they can be either a positive or negative force when it comes to a child’s self-image. Siblings usually are competing for the parent’s attention, love and favor so they tend to be very mean to one another. Parents on the other hand usually are trying to do what’s best for the child but don’t realize what works for one child does not always work for the other. Each child is a unique individual, they have different needs and need help in different ways. Some parents, unfortunately, don’t know how to deal with their children at all so they try to treat them as if they are adults way before the child or teen is emotionally and mentally ready to do so. This usually results in conflict and the child/teen becomes rebellious and has a poor self-image.

If the low self-esteem is not addressed and corrected during the child/teen years then it is carried into the adult years. That makes it very hard for the Adult to achieve a healthy relationship with a significant other and even harder for them to become successful in the work world.

Raising kids is not an easy task, being a parent means you have to be a caregiver, advisor, instructor, friend, leader, cook, counselor, and of course an ATM for the children lol. Helping a child navigate the battlefields of youth and preparing them for the many challenges they will have to face in the future is not an easy thing to accomplish. All you can do is give it your best shot and always be there for them when they need you.

I myself have had self-esteem issues throughout my life, I have been battling low self-esteem for many decades. I could go down a list of all the things that caused my low self-esteem but what is the use of that now that it now falls squarely on me to repair the damage and improve myself. Plus the first step in moving on and building up your self-esteem/self-image is to forgive those who helped in destroying it and letting go of your own contributions to the whole mess as well.

Just know this, there is no one better than you, but then there is no one lesser than you. We all are unique, we all have our own gifts to embrace and shortcomings that we need to deal with. There is no one on this planet that does not have some emotional or psychological baggage to deal with. How much money you have, and how many toys you have has nothing to do with who you are or how good you are. What defines you is how you live life, and how you treat others and yourself.

Being successful sure feels good, being financially well off does make life easier in many ways, but money, possessions, and success are fleeting, they can be gone in an instant. Family and friends to me are far more important along with how I treat others, and how I live my life. Those things will be with me throughout my life.

Well, I wish you happiness, remember it does not matter what others think or say about you, it is what you know about yourself that matters the most.

Ray Barbier

September 6, 2021September 6, 2021

Random Thoughts 9-06-2021

The pandemic has had many side effects when dealing with society, it has caused much distrust in science, governments and amplified the social problems we were already facing in the world. Watching people argue over mask wearing, vaccinations, political policies and social values is very disappointing during a time we should come together to face the challenges before us as a world.

To me it is quite confusing why anyone would find temporary mask mandates as a infringement on ones personal rights when the fact is wearing a mask is more of a service to your fellow human beings since it keeps the wearer from spreading a very serious illness. We all seem to have little issue on the rules set by the health department to wear a shirt or a pair of shoes in a restaurant or grocery store but make a big fuss over wearing a mask during a pandemic. If wearing a mask was only for the wearers protection not the other people around them i may understand the argument better.

Photo by Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels.com

Far as Vaccines, all vaccines have a small risk to them, always have through out time. But the benefit of being vaccinated usually outweighs the risk, and far as vaccinations i do support a persons right not to be vaccinated even though it increases the amount of others who may become infected and the will increase the length we will be in a pandemic.

With the Delta variant causing a faster spread and the new Mu variation possibly being Vaccine resistant we are in for a long and possibly bad winter. Since it took the world too long to get enough people vaccinated it gave time for the virus to mutate to the point it could possibly circumvent the current vaccinations available. Regardless of what side you are on when it comes to Mask wearing and Vaccinations you will probably know someone this year that gets covid-19. I have recently had a friend and their family come down with the virus, 1 adult and 2 children. I hope they will fair well against the infection and get well soon.

Photo by Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels.com

Life is short, and nowadays shorter than it should be for some people, we should be kind to one another, acceptant of each others views and opinions when it comes to what we are facing. We can disagree, but we should also be able to remain civil and continue to be friends with another. I have lost a few friends due to having different views politically and about pandemic related issues. Shame to lose friends over a difference of views or opinions, but they chose to end the friendships not I.

I know i will probably get some backlash over this post, some negative comments from those with opposing views and the usual trolls on the internet. But one can not always write neutral and bland posts. I hope that I haven’t offended anyone in any way it is just my personal observations and my opinions on what I am seeing and experiencing during this pandemic.

I wish all of you a safe and blessed year, Be good to one another.