Category: Personal

Stuff About Me and My Mundain Life

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What our definition of happiness is may differ


008 I am who and what I am, full of faults and shortcomings that I have learned to accept. I am no stud or intellectual giant but I have finer points that few ever see or notice. My uniqueness is something I treasure and will never hide from others. I used to be so concerned about what others thought of me, but I have learned that what they think about me is less important than what I think about myself. I have leaned to love me for who and what I am. Take me for what I am or do not take me at all, for I am the sum of all my experiences though life and the person I have become within. I am an ever changing and growing person and I embrace the fact I can and will make many mistakes along this path of life I walk. By accepting myself as is I also have learned to accept others for who and what they are. Not one person can be perfect nor can they be accepted and/or liked by everyone. I learned one of the greatest gifts one can give and receive (besides Love) is forgiveness. For forgiveness is one of those things that usually return to you 7 fold down the line. Just like Jesus taught us, we must love and forgive freely and not be swayed by anger or envy. Selfishness is one of the biggest enemies of being happy and living a full life. Selfishness keeps us from loving and forgiving others, it keeps our focus on ourselves and not on the world in full. We may be individuals but we are also a part of a huge family called humanity. We must learn to love and accept ourselves before we learn to love and accept those around us. Love is something that starts as a seed within and grows outward and so is all the other emotions related to it. To love yourself is not to be selfish it is to be selfless, for loving yourself leads to loving others and is a required first step towards happiness. There is always going to be someone you have a hard time liking but this does not mean you can not love them is a general sense. There have been many who I have not liked so much in my life but I still loved them as a human being.  Hate the sin not the sinner and love the person but not their faults or actions.

I am who I am and you are who you are, We are two unique people with different views but both of us want the same thing and that is to live a happy life. What our definition of happiness is may differ but we both still long for and strive towards that same goal. I pray and hope you will find that happiness as much as I hope I find mine.

Not one person is alike, yet we all desire to be happy.

Raymond Barbier

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Beyond the trap of following the social ideals


newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?

 

 

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

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we tend to forget about those we care about along the way


oldfamIn the hustle and bustle of our modern world we tend to forget about those we care about along the way. Have you called your mom, dad, siblings or old friends? Have you told your mate how much they mean to you and how much you love them today? Have you had any quality time with your children today? When is the last time you sat down at the kitchen table and had a family meal and converse with your family about what happened today? It is so easy to allow work, stress, TV time and the everyday routine get in the way of sharing your life and time with those you love.

 

Just some thoughts for today.

Raymond Barbier

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Our welfare system is broken and inefficient


IMG_1077 I sit here listening to the rants and raves of our political leaders. Seems anything that benefits the common people its labeled communism or socialism but if it benefits the rich it is accepted with little objection. I agree we shouldn’t be a welfare state and that there is a lot of work that needs to be done to the welfare system in America. I see too many people taking advantage of food stamps, welfare and many other programs while so many who really need the help are denied any help. They wonder why our federal and state governments are in debt and seem to want to blame social security, Medicaid or Medicare. The elderly deserve those benefits since they paid into them all of their lives but yet I see so many who never work (and are perfectly able to) receive food stamps, housing, gas cards and welfare. Does this mean we should stop helping those who are really in need? I think not, I believe we need to investigate and monitor recipients at random to confirm they are not abusing the system.

What really bothers me is what a friend told me, he worked at a local grocery store and saw a woman who bought 250.00 dollars of a name brand soda with her food stamp card and she sold it to the small gas station down the road, when he called it in to the state he was told there was nothing they could do because its al hear say. More or less they didn’t care or didn’t want to bother doing anything about the food stamp fraud. Since then I have seen other people doing the same thing both buying with food stamps and selling the soda to a gas station (for half price) . There are so many ways they can take advantage of the food stamp system its just crazy that we don’t have a task force out there to stop such abuse.

Recently they at least passed a bill to allow random drug testing of food stamp recipients so at least they are trying to find ways to weed out some of the abuse of food stamp. Now don’t get me wrong I am a strong supporter of programs such as food stamps, government housing and welfare for those who truly need it and don’t abuse it. For “We the people” are the backbone of this great nation and we should take care of our needy, handicapped and elderly. If we look upon any social class, race, religious sect or individual as expendable or undeserving of the basic rights guaranteed by our constitution then we are not the great nation our founding fathers created. Our welfare system is broken and inefficient and needs an overhaul and definitely we need to find a way to make sure there is little to no abuse of the benefits it provides.

The only way we may find solutions to the current financial crises that our nation is when the republicans and democrats realize that compromise along with sacrifice is the only way to get things done. Until then we will see more and more people sink into poverty if not become jobless and homeless. Lucky for our politicians they have a guaranteed job and retirement along with a good health plan and a salary paid by all of us. I guess that’s one reason they seem to be apathetic and unconcerned about the urgency of the problems at hand. They all seem more worried about campaigning and playing politics than about trying to come up with solutions to the current problems before us as a nation.

 

 

Well enough ranting for now, Right or wrong that’s my 2 cents worth today.

Raymond Barbier

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Change, acceptance and fear


003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

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Think outside the box, Swim against the tide


Think outside the box, push the boundaries set by society and be the creative force you were born to be. Einstein, Edison and Tesla are some of the greatest minds known in recent history. What made them such Geniuses and creative forces? Mainly the fact they thought outside the known boundaries of logic and science. They pushed the envelope and did not get held back by the main stream scientific views of the time. Many times in our past we have had so-called truths and facts in the scientific community that if accepted and not challenged would have kept us as a species in the dark ages. Look how at one time we believed the world was flat and that the universe rotated around earth. Both ideals were so strongly believed that until a few great thinkers dared to think outside the box and beyond the borders set by their society and time to see that both were not factual at all.

It is mans ability to be imaginative as well as creative that gives him the ability to reach higher and go farther than any other species that is on this planet. Our tendency to be tribal and our unique skill of language that gives us the potential of doing such great and wondrous things. But our Societal / collective mentality can sometimes be a burden because of the cultural belief system and the boundaries it sets. Individuality is a good thing when it comes to creativity and imagination. It is hard to break away from the herd or tribal mentality, it usually comes with some ridicule along with the possibility of being looked at as a outcast. If you don’t adhere to the norm of society then you will not be accepted, but then if you discover new truths and are able to introduce them to the tribe then you will be hailed as a sort of leader. But then being accepted by ones peers may be nice it is nothing but food for the ego, and though the ego is a necessary part of ones psyche it is not the most important.

Think outside the box, Swim against the tide and walk to the beat of your own drum. Be the next Tesla,Einstein or Edison and bring light to the hidden truths and facts yet to be discovered. Debunk the false truths as well as the theories that are based on misconceptions. Utilize the full potential of what you were born with and become the person you were destined to be.

Raymond Barbier

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New year, New Way?


p10174 With New Years upon us it is once again to make new years resolutions. We all could make those unrealistic promises to ourselves that we know deep in our hearts we will not even try to fulfill or even set goals that we will strive for that are impossible to reach. The sad part of resolutions such as those is that when we fail to complete or uphold them we have the sense of failure which isn’t a good thing to start the year off with. Best to either set simple and achievable goals for your new years resolutions or ones that will not bring certain failure. We all want to make a resolution that will either improve our selves or the lives of others so to start the year off with a positive note. Most change is enacted through a series of steps not one giant leap, so remember to make a resolution that can be planed out as a day by day plan. To arrive at any destination one must take the first step and be willing to follow through with every step afterwards till they reach the end. There is no shortcuts to self-improvement or change. The fist step forward usually consists of forgiving yourself of the mistakes of the past as well as the mistakes of others. If you can not leave the past in its own time then you will find it very hard to move forward if even exist in the present. Learn from your past mistakes and don’t live in their shadows for they will block the light that you deserve to live in. Start your new year off with a clean slate for both yourself and others, for each day we wake is another chance to do what is right and live in the light of our creator. For his son died on the cross and through his blood we are washed clean of our past sins so we can live free as well as seek to become more Christ like in our every day life. To feel remorse for your sins is what you do before you pray to be forgiven and not what you do after the sin is washed away. To carry the shame and pain of a past sin is to hold on to the sin itself, if you believe in the mercy of our lord then the sin is no longer yours to carry. So leave your sins of the past in the past and leave the path ahead in the hands of the lord. Forgive, be forgiven and move forward knowing that you do not walk alone in this world. One of the greatest new years resolution one can have is to surrender to the will of the Father and follow the teachings of his only begotten son. Learn to be tolerant of the beliefs of others for they have the right to choose the path they walk in life as well as the religion they practice. Just learn to love all of your brothers and sisters on this great planet earth we have been blessed to live on and cherish its beauty. No matter what resolution you make on this new year I pray that you find peace and prosperity in this new year of 2012. May our politicians wake up to see the mess that our house is in and let them find the wisdom to put aside their differences to do what is best for both our planet and our species.

 

May God bless Mankind and guide us in this new year.

Raymond Barbier

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Matthew Cudzilo R.I.P. 7/22/1942–09/24/2011


Times like these I remember the importance of each person that I have met as well as those I currently interact with. Times like these I remember to cherish each second of the day and both the good and bad the day may bring. Facing the fact we all are mortal and are only here for a very short moment in time makes one realize that a lot of things are not as important as one thinks and the things we take for granted are the most important of things to be thankful for.I learned a lot in life from Matt Cudzilo, I saw him more as a friend than a step father and a good Husband to my mother. He could be a tough adversary and then turn around and be your greatest advocate. He had a soul  of a warrior and a heart that was big as the moon. May his soul rest in peace and those he left behind learn to celebrate his life more so than mourn his death. I will always remember the fact how fortunate I was to have him as a part of my life.

Life is but a twinkle in the eye of time, so live each day to the fullest.
Raymond Barbier

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The life you live is yours to live as you choose


IMG_1077 There is two ways one can go through life, one is going through life reacting to everything and everyone. The other is to walk through life as an activist,this means basically  being the cause of events in your life not being the effect. You can either ride the waves made by others or make your own. The problem with riding others waves is you have no idea where you will wind up most of the time along with the fact your life will be at someone else’s mercy. Riding your own wave you at least know where you aimed to go and the results will be yours alone. A good example of riding other people’s waves is when you are around someone who is persistently grumpy you tend to reflect the same attitude over time. You could have chosen to be happy or blissful instead, you choose how you feel at any given time. Even in times that are bad you can choose not to let the circumstances to control your emotions.

Though sometimes one must allow the circumstance to control their emotions at least for a short period. Circumstances such as the death of a love one is one of those times. You must grieve in order to have closure and so you can move on. But this should be as short of time you can manage for grieving too long can become depression. For the most part though you are in charge of how and what you feel. This only so once you realize you can choose to act instead of react to the world around you. There are two schools of thought on life, one is the school of destiny and the other is the school of Karma. The first school Destiny is the ideal that all things are predetermined and that there is no freewill or choice in what happens or what your final destination will be. The school is Karma, the idea that each thought and or action you take is what determines the outcome of your life.

Karma is the school of thought that supports the idea of freewill and self-directed paths of life. This is the school of thought I tend to believe in since I do not believe that we are totally predestined nor that we are without freewill. I will set aside the fact maybe some things may be predestined to a point but still we can choose how, when and why that predestined event happens. But far as our final destination is life, that is solely our choice as well as how we live that life. Being an open-minded Christian by faith I can see the idea of karma to a degree playing out in our scriptures. Freewill is the gift god gave us and we are responsible for both the good and bad we bring into the world. The wage of sin is death and the wage of goodness/righteous living  is life.

The life you live is yours to live as you choose, no one person can deny you the right to be happy in life. Others can only influence you if you give them the power to do so. Do not allow others to kill your happiness nor allow them to push on you there negativity. You only live this life once so make it the happiest and most peaceful one you can.

Just Some Thoughts That Came to me, Right or Wrong they are mine to share.
Raymond Barbier

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Not even happiness can exist indefinitely


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Emotions, friend or foe to the modem man? Both, for without emotions we would be nothing but uninspired automatons. Each emotion serves a purpose and some emotions serve several functions. Fear is meant to protect our physical body by directing us away from things that endanger our well-being. Anger serves as a protector emotion by putting us in fight mode when there is either no escape or we feel secure enough to fight. Happiness is an emotion that inspires us to be creative and social so we can grow culturally as well as socially. Sadness keeps us rooted in reality, it reminds us that loss is a part of life as well as the constant reminder of our mortality. Even jealousy can serve a good purpose, for it shows that we cherish our mate when it is over a person and inspires us to work harder so we can better our life when it is jealousy over possessions. Each one of these emotions can either serve us in a positive or negative fashion and which way it does is based on our ability to control them.

Since emotions are a necessary part of our physical experience they should never be shut off or suppressed. The negative aspects of our emotions will exist and even though we can not turn them off we can learn to make them short-lived as well as temper their impact on both ourselves and others. They must be expressed and allowed to come to fruition but they can be channeled into a less destructive way of expression. Surprising them are an unhealthy way to control them and causes a lot of physical side effects that can create an unhealthy body. This is one of the most common ways people get high stress levels, and that in turn creates health problems such as high blood pressure and mental problems such as depression and even nervous breakdowns in the long run. One way to express the negative emotions with little impact on others is to write a journal or log and express them through writing. This gives them an outlet but restricts the negative effects. Express them and then let them go, for no emotion is meant to be permanent. Not even happiness can exist indefinitely, though it would be nice to be in permanent euphoria but it would be unproductive and probably would be troublesome down the line.

Seize the moment, Leave the past and hope for the future.
Raymond Barbier

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