Envy: Destroyer of self worth


We all at one point or another fell prey to Envy, counting the blessings of our neighbor instead of counting our own. Be it at work, at home or in our social circle there is always someone who has more or better than we do.

To be honest, I think Envy can not be totally removed from human nature, but it can be put in check as soon as it comes out to play. I think it’s instinctive to see what someone else has that brings them the appearance of happiness and to want it for ourselves, that is not so much the issue as when we think we should take it from them to obtain it instead of working to achieve and obtain it on our own.

In the Workplace

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Being I’ve been around for over a 1/2 century, I have experienced Envy in the workplace from both ends of its pointy stick. I suffered from it a few times in my earlier years of life. Watching some people just seem to get all the breaks and promotions, get higher wages than me or get to goof off all day while I worked.

At least that was how I perceived it when i experienced it, and I spent too much time worrying over those other people instead of doing my job better. Now that I’ve matured, I have learned to focus on what I am doing and not worry what others are doing.

unless I am in a supervisor position, and even then I only pay attenuation to what i am required to in that role. I guess part of it is that i have learned to be happy with what I have been blessed with now, instead of worrying about what other people are blessed with.

The Social Circle

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Ok, This is one place I Suffered Envy the most I think, especially in my teenage years. Being I was just an average run of the mill guy, no athletic skills and a unfortunate low self esteem, I was one of those barely noticed or remembered guys from your high school days.

Envy filled my veins when it came to the cool kids, the ladies men and the geniuses around me. Always wanting what was theirs instead of seeing i had plenty i was not aware of or using at that time.

Hind sight is 20/20 as they say, so much i missed out on due to my poor self image and lack of confidence. Only if we could go back and do it again with what we know now eh? lol.

The Family Unit

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Another Weak spot for me when I was young, I had a older brother, so i was the younger brother. I always felt like I was less than him since he had 3 years on me. I envied his popularity, his luck with the ladies and his independent spirit. He could be a bit of a smarty pants and a bully at times too (the 2 things I didn’t want to emulate).

Of course as i hit my later teens I didn’t envy him as much as I disliked his attitude towards me, but that’s siblings for you. Mind you now I look back and think how stupid I was for wanting to be more like him instead of being more like me 🙂


Conclusion:

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Through years of both experiencing and observing Envy in its many flavors it comes in, I have watched it ruin peoples lives when they let it take root for too long. Watched people lose careers, their friends and even.

Best to count your own blessings than to worry about the blessings of others. Focus on making your own life better than desiring the life of someone else. The grass may look greener in your neighbors yard, but sometimes if you look closely it is mainly crabgrass.

Envy and its sister jealousy are both destroyers of happiness and are detrimental to your emotional and mental well being.

Be Good to one another, and be thankful for what you have been blessed with

Raymond Barbier

Random Thoughts 6-9-2020


The world is going through some changes, not only climate changes but social changes and its facing a pandemic. Tensions are high and protests are world wide. Social injustice and inequality has had a grip on our world for far too long. Those in power either turn a deaf ear to the pleas for justice and equality or they tow the party line and show how little they care about those they are supposed to be representing. It is completely shameful and sad that when one does stand to support those they represent they get labeled a traitor.

What we really need now is politicians that actually care about us all, not just the lobbyist and big business or just the party they are affiliated with. Both parties are in need of change, be it of their behavior or the members all together. I am so sick of Party politics and their rhetoric, come together and do the right thing and stop trying to be polar opposites all the time. Meet in the middle and do whats good for all people. Stop waiting and doing nothing, taking recesses instead of fixing the problems at hand.

Remember to vote this year and make sure you look into the candidates on your own and do not take what news and internet media tells you directly. Look deeper and make the best choice you can, who you vote for is who will chart the the future of the united states and our lives as well. Voting is one of our rights and one of our best ways to voice our positions as well.

Well that’s it For this post.

Ray Barbier

The Past, The now and regret.


Thinking about the past is one way of coming to terms with where you are now and how the choices you made and also the choices you tried to avoid to make helped you get where you are today. Besides the random unfortunate circumstances we sometimes encounter, it is pretty much our choices in life that put us in the place we are today.
Holding on to regret, sadness, anger or any negitive emotion from past choices only hinders one from making better choices in the present. So feel those emotions, own them and learn to forgive yourself and others so you can move forward. Every morning you awake is a clean slate if you let it be and a new chance to make your life better and also another chance to be appositive influence on the world you live in.
For me the hardest thing to do is forgive myself of my poor choices and mistakes I had made in the past. I learned that by hanging on to such negitive thoughts and emotions I only created a negitive self image and a somewhat defeatist mentality. So now I just try to own my mistakes, face I made them and accept what is done is in the past. I also have to remind myself that I am not perfect and that I should never expect myself to be such. I Remeber the mistake, learn from it and try to forgive myself since I am just human.
Though we can not undo what we have done wrong in the past, we can how ever try to make up for those mistakes in many ways. You can try being of service to those in need and by being compassionate and caring to all. If you are able to you should also make amends to those you have done wrong in what ever way that is possible. In the end you will have to forgive yourself and also forgive others in order to free yourself up to live your life to the fullest.

We all are brothers and sisters in this world


Division, The separation of the community only serves those who seek its ruin. To have anger or fear between people only divides the community and does more harm than good. When we fall into the trap of hating others because of their color or hating them due to their choice of religion and lifestyle we only cause division and damage the community we live in.
Change begins in ourselves, we have to change how we act and react to the world around us. To fight hate with hate only creates more hate to deal with. And on the other end of it, if we do nothing Hate will continue to grow as well. Seems hate is a hard thing to stop once it starts infesting people, it becomes like a runaway train. Shame Love or compassion doesn’t spread and intensify like that. When I look at the person next to me I see another human being first and then I see the differences between us. But I don’t see the differences between us as an obstacle, I see it as what makes the other person unique. Life would be very boring if everyone believed the same, looked the same and acted just alike. It has been humanity’s rainbow of differences that kept us alive and gave us all that we have today.
Maybe one-day humanity will grow out of this desire to hold on to prejudices which serve no one in the end. Possibly one day we can forgive and leave the past in the past for the sake of the future and those that will live in it. And one day we will see there is no greater or lesser race, there is only the human race, a multi-colored, multicultural community. I Know I am just dreamer, but just like John Lennon stated I don’t think I am the only one.
We all are brothers and sisters in this world, we only live once so let us be the best person we can be and love one another. Find happiness for ourselves and share it with all those around us. Leave yesterday behind, live in the present and dream and hope for the future.
May Peace, love, and happiness fill your days and Compassion be the guide of your heart and mind.
Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts 7/29/2019


The world is heading down a dark and uncertain road, seems hate and fear is growing. There is so much misinformation and false news on the internet pushing the agenda of hate and division. Between the circus we call politics and the loss of integrity we are seeing in many places in business and also governments it leaves many people feeling like there is little to no hope.

You can not rely on the government or big business to do what is needed to make a better world, they can not change the world without having the power we the people give to them. Change is all in our hands, it is our choice if we love, fear , hate, understand and where the future of humanity will head.  The fate of our society is in our hand, our society can only be fixed by us.

No life is lesser or greater than another, all life is precious and each person is important. We need to stop labeling each other, we can not judge a group by the few that may have some problems. We all need to be accountable for our actions, think before we say or act. Don’t do or say anything you wouldn’t be proud of or that would be considered hurtful.

Mostly I believe people are angry that life is not always fair, most of the time life can be very unfair and cruel. Being hateful or fearful will not make life any better and surely won’t help you or anyone else in the end.  Speak out against hate and fear, put out love and understanding and seek the most peaceful and kindest way of resolving the situation before you.

I think every one of us at one point in our life has been on the wrong end of some sort of hate, be it that we were being bullied, discriminated against for one reason or another. We need to remember how it felt on the receiving end of such, so we can remind ourselves to not treat others in such a manner.

I know compassion, love and kindness are not quite popular in society, so many times those that are kind and compassionate are looked upon as weak. I think it takes someone very strong and determined to love and show compassion in a world where fear and hate seem to be the norm.

Whatever path you choose in your life is up to you and I hope you choose one of peace and love.

 

Blessings to all

Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts Jan 27th 2019


Time is something as humans we have a very limited amount of, no guarantee we have any set length of time to enjoy and be a part of this wonderous thing called life. In my lifetime I have noticed how I have tended to focus on myself, my views of the world and paid less attention to those in my life that either had heavy influence on me and my life or those that had some impact on my journey through it. Of course as I aged I learned that it is not only about me, I am not the center of the universe nor am I going to be the center of attention most of the time.

Many of the things I may had found to be important, prominent in my way of thinking and being through the years either were dropped or evolved along the way. Over thinking every situation was one of my faults in my character, it usually lead to either seeing the doom filled or negative possibilities of what may lay ahead or it kept me from taking chances in life that could had led me down a more prosperous path. In time I had come to the conclusion that over thinking most things in life was more of a pitfall than a blessing.

Sometimes my tendency to over think things may had saved me from some bad things in my life, so I now try to listen to my thoughts but weigh out the possibilities I may be looking too hard at the negatives and not hard enough at the positive possibilities. Plus I also realize many times I am completely wrong in some of my thoughts and assumptions. Thinking is a good thing, as long as you have all the facts and your wise enough to has out the details with others such as friends and family so you can get alternate takes and views on the subject. To only go on that which you feel and think usually leads to many problems down the line because no one man or woman has all the answers and information to be able to do such.

We as humans are geared to be social, we do out best work as a group and achieve the most through co-operation. When we lose our sense of community, Family and the spirit of co-operation, we lose what makes humanity the unique and most creative species on this small blue planet we call earth. When we allow The I to become more important than the well-being and progress of the community and human race is when we set ourselves up as a species only to fail and possible even invite our extinction.

Friendship, Family, Community and co-operation are the most important and valuable things we have as humans Throw them away and we throw away the bright future we can achieve. We Humans are the caretakers of this world and all the species that live here including our own. Once we get beyond The I, me and myself syndrome we have so much potential as individuals and unlimited possibilities as a species if we learn to co-operate and work together for the benefit for all things great and small.

Random Thoughts Nov 12th 2018


When you become Self-centered, self-absorbed and focused only on yourself, you only close out all the love and happiness that sharing and caring for others can bring. Humans are inherently social creatures and when the focus is on the family, community and the well-being of all living creatures we shine brightly as a species. Humans have the capacity to both destroy or nurture the world around them.

Too many people allow greed, self-gratification, and lust to be their high priority and leave little time or thought about the well-being of others. Possessions can and will eventually be lost, Lust is short-lived and self=gratification is usually a temporary fix for the feelings of loss and loneliness.  They serve only the self, and in the end are far more destructive than helpful.

Helping others is a way of helping the whole of humanity and even yourself, what helps the community usually comes around to help the individual. Even in times where no benefit can be found in helping others, you at least get a sense of happiness from seeing the other person doing well. Compassion, Love, and understanding are not signs of weakness, they are signs of an inner strength.

Which way and how you live your life is your choice alone, how you are thought of and remembered when your time is up on this blue planet will be the result of such. To me, I don’t see how all the money, possessions and temporary pleasures will serve me in the end. If there is an afterlife, all the money and possessions will be useless in the afterlife and those whom you helped will be there remembering your kindness.

In the end, I know we all will have some greed, self-centeredness, and lusts. The priority we give them is the thing we must focus on. We all are in this life together, we all ride on the same blue marble through space and time. So we Should be there for one another and make the ride the most enjoyable and happy one we can.

Random Thoughts Oct 20th 2018


Striving for the approval of others, living up to other people’s idea of what you should be is a waste of time if you must change who you truly are. You can not be someone you are not, you should focus on being yourself and growing as a person. Relying on being approved of by others only puts you in a position of being disappointed or frustrated. Sure when you comply and achieve what they see as acceptable you may get a short-lived burst of gratification but then you get right back to trying to earn approval again.

In the end, you just become what everyone else wants you to be instead of becoming who you want to be and who you were meant to be. Do not get me wrong, I do realize you have to accept the fact you must meet standards somewhat in order to exist in society and to make it in the workforce, but it does not mean you have to just hand over your life to either. Be yourself and find your own path to evolve upon, let others learn to accept you as you are, for if they don’t it’s not really acceptance.

Keep your integrity intact, follow your own philosophies but always be open-minded. Never allow yourself to become so rigid you can not see things from other peoples point of view. Accept yourself as is and do the same for others around you, for we all are but human and therefore we all have emotions and are prone to make some mistakes along the way.

The desire to be accepted by others is only natural, but when you have to change the core of who you are or if you have to lose integrity in order to be accepted it is unacceptable. Live with conviction, honor and always be true to yourself.

Random thoughts Oct 19th 2018


I have found at times we tend to get stuck in a certain way of thinking. We get focused on one or more negative thoughts that we for some reason we believe we can not let go of. If you focus on negative thoughts you leave no room or time for all the positive thoughts trying to break through. We allow outside influences to control or lead or way of thinking as well, mental and emotional discipline is something very few have at a high level and is something we all need and could use.

Many Eastern world philosophies and religions focus on centering the mind and controlling emotions. Methods such as meditation and physical arts such as Thai Chi and yoga also can help with mental/emotional discipline. To allow circumstances and external influence such as other people around us and their beliefs and opinions to control our mood and state of mind is basically surrendering all to chance and happenstance.

Humans have the unique ability to choose what they feel, think and do through their will, This is what makes humans one of the most unique species on the planet. When one learns to control their emotions and thoughts there is very little that person cannot do or face in life. Emotions such as fear, anger, jealousy, greed, and pride only hinder your true potential. They are the stumbling blocks of human existence and the enemy of our spiritual advancement.

Life is the greatest treasure we have and when we put material gain and self-gratification above our own life or that of others, we only lose sight of the things in life that truly matter. Take care of the material things but do not let the true treasures of life be put on the back burner.

Live life fully by your own will, treasure those things in life that truly matter to you and do not allow the opinions of others nor the trap of greed and envy stand in the way of your true happiness. Be the master of your mind and heart, live life as the master of your own destiny.

 

 

 

 

Random Thoughts Oct 18th 2018


I have noticed sometimes we have this belief of who or what someone is, how they are etc. and never stop to think they may be totally different from how we perceive them.  Most people put up a front, play out a part for others to see to hide who they are since they fear rejection or being vulnerable. life is like a grand masquerade, a play with no predetermined plot or ending. We all hide behind a mask of some sort, some may be close to whom we are and some are totally the opposite of the person inside. We all try to hide away what we consider our bad side or weak side so we do not put ourselves in harm’s way.

Sometimes we fear that we won’t be loved, accepted or that we may be chastised due to how we are different and in our minds how we d not make the grade perse. Problem with that is we will never be loved for who we truly are if we never show that side. It is ok to be weak at times, it is ok to be caring and it’s definitely ok not to be what society considers cool or acceptable. Those so-called Social standards are usually set too high and are so rigid and without any leeway that it makes it virtually impossible to be 100 percent within those standards. We forget they are supposed to be guidelines not laws, no one person is alike and therefore we all can not act and be the same. Would be a very dull and eventless society if we were to just be the same.

If it was not for some of the more eccentric and less socially acceptable people in human history many discoveries in science and inventions may have never been discovered or created until way later if not at all. Most of the greatest philosophers were either social outcasts or at least not socially well received. Humanity’s greatest treasure is its diversity, be it genetics or via the social and cultural differences. Those things are what helped humanity survive through many natural and unnatural disasters.

Point is, be yourself and don’t hide what makes you unique. Accept others for who and what they are, but do not let others force you to be anyone but yourself. Regardless of how you may feel, you are unique and special. You are just as good as anyone else and no one is better in any way than anyone else. We all are born, we all live, love, feel sad and in the end, we all die. We all are human beings and we all have the right to be happy and to believe in what we choose. We have the right to be wrong and to mistakes as well, it is a crucial part of how we learn and grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually.