Tag Archives: Raymond Barbier

Envy: Destroyer of self worth



We all at one point or another fell prey to Envy, counting the blessings of our neighbor instead of counting our own. Be it at work, at home, or in our social circle there is always someone who has more or better than we do.

To be honest, I think Envy can not be totally removed from human nature, but it can be put in check as soon as it comes out to play. I think it’s instinctive to see what someone else has that brings them the appearance of happiness and to want it for ourselves, that is not so much the issue as when we think we should take it from them to obtain it instead of working to achieve and obtain it on our own.

In the Workplace

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Being I’ve been around for over a 1/2 century, I have experienced Envy in the workplace from both ends of its pointy stick. I suffered from it a few times in my earlier years of life. Watching some people just seem to get all the breaks and promotions, get higher wages than me, or get to goof off all day while I worked.

At least that was how I perceived it when I experienced it, and I spent too much time worrying over those other people instead of doing my job better. Now that I’ve matured, I have learned to focus on what I am doing and not worry about what others are doing.

unless I am in a supervisor position, and even then I only pay attenuation to what I am required to in that role. I guess part of it is that I have learned to be happy with what I have been blessed with now, instead of worrying about what other people are blessed with.

The Social Circle

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Ok, This is one place I Suffered Envy the most I think, especially in my teenage years. Being I was just an average run-of-the-mill guy, with no athletic skills and unfortunately low self-esteem, I was one of those barely noticed or remembered guys from your high school days.

Envy filled my veins when it came to the cool kids, the lady’s men, and the geniuses around me. Always wanting what was theirs instead of seeing I had plenty I was not aware of or using at that time.

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, so much I missed out on due to my poor self-image and lack of confidence. Only if we could go back and do it again with what we know now eh? lol.

The Family Unit

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Another Weak spot for me when I was young, I had an older brother, so I was the younger brother. I always felt like I was less than him since he had 3 years on me. I envied his popularity, his luck with the ladies, and his independent spirit. He could be a bit of a smarty pants and a bully at times too (the 2 things I didn’t want to emulate).

Of course, as I hit my later teens I didn’t envy him as much as I disliked his attitude towards me, but that’s siblings for you. Mind you now I look back and think how stupid I was for wanting to be more like him instead of being more like me 🙂


Conclusion:

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Through years of both experiencing and observing Envy in its many flavors it comes in, I have watched it ruin people’s lives when they let it take root for too long. Watched people lose their careers, their friends, and even.

Best to count your own blessings than to worry about the blessings of others. Focus on making your own life better than desiring the life of someone else. The grass may look greener in your neighbor’s yard, but sometimes if you look closely it is mainly crabgrass.

Envy and its sister jealousy are both destroyers of happiness and are detrimental to your emotional and mental well-being.

Be Good to one another, and be thankful for what you have been blessed with

Raymond Barbier

get caught at the crossroads


011With each day that dawns a new adventure begins, the lifelong journey continues as we open our eyes. our mind and souls full or battle scars and the memories of those we have met along the way. The many triumphs and failures we have experienced along the way helped sculpt us into who we are today.  Some of us learn from our experiences and move forward and others get caught at the crossroads living in their past mistakes.

We must focus on the path immediately in front of us not the path behind us nor too far ahead. We must live in the now, the past is gone and the future has not yet come to pass. We should learn by our past mistakes, grieve over them as we commit them and let them go.We should plan for the future but focus on the present. If we focus too much on the future we become blind to the gifts and wonders before us in the present.

With each days close we approach our time to rest and to reflect upon the day we just lived. Our adventures and our journey comes to a temporary stop. We now rest till the next day and adventure begins.

Raymond Barbier

When I Was Young–Random Thoughts 9-17-14


rayraydWhen I was young I thought life was beautiful, that I was indestructible and had little to no fear of death. The faith I had in God was unshakable and my heart was always loving and forgiving as well. I recall a memory of when I had wrecked my bike into the back of a pickup truck, I split my nose in half from the impact and lip. My face was quite horrifying to see all sewn up. My brother being the little brat he was, he thought he would get me by making me look at my face in the mirror for the first time.  my mother walked in as it was happening and thought I was going to freak, she was trying to say words to calm me etc. I glanced at my face in the mirror and with not even a thought I just shrugged it off saying to my mother “I am not worried about it mom, God will take care of me. I was so unafraid of the possibilities, I knew id be ok deep within myself. That is the kind of faith we as adults should have as well. Unfortunately as we grow older having such faith becomes harder to have.

Faith is a key component to our relationship with God, we must have trust in his promises and his love.

Just some random thoughts Smile

Raymond Barbier

A Letter to my self : Self-Compassion


018 I am writing this to let you know how special you are, I know you have a lot of shortcomings and you’re struggling each day with things you don’t like about yourself along with a few bad habits. I know sometimes you feel sad and lonely and I want you to know that everyone goes through that from time to time. Stop trying so hard to be perfect, for no one is perfect. Just know no matter how bad it gets, how hard life tries to be on you and how bad you think you are everything is going to be ok. You may not be perfect, but you are a pretty good person. Try to forgive yourself for those things in the past you regret and then forget them for they belong to yesterday. Just remember this most of all, no matter how alone and unloved you feel there is always one person here on earth that will love you and be with you. I will always be there and will always love you. Even if I fail you know for certain Jesus and God will never fail you, they shall love you no matter what.

Sincerely you friend

Me, Myself and I

Raymond Barbier

The World, The web and a needed change


MP900289198The world is connected by a spider’s web of communication, information and all the junk that comes with such a large social connection. There are no more borders between the people or barriers between the cultures of our world. Yet governments still fight over imaginary lines on a map and the resources that they consider critical. Only if the governments could learn from the people and start looking beyond the illusions of separation and tolerate the differences between us all they might be able to pull together to find peaceful solutions to the problems this world faces as a whole. I am not promoting one world government, I think that would be a bad idea due to the ability of one person controlling everything. But I do support the idea of one world co-operation for the betterment of our world for everyone. The promotion of peace, compassion and the acceptance of our differences as an asset instead of a hindrance. So many of the problems we face in the modern world has been with us for such a long time, so many grudges between nations, Peoples and belief systems that have been amplifying through so many generations. It is so hard to try to fight against such anger and fear when it so embedded in the core of a groups beliefs. Trying to convince those who been raised to hate to see that there is hope and that people change individually as well as in multitudes.

MP900444203We have so many tools at our disposal as citizens of the information age to share our cultural differences as well as to become a more peaceful world. The internet with all its tools at our fingertips that can help spread a peaceful mentality as well as gathering together as a world to deal with the issues we are facing in modern times. We as a species have such great potential and yet we cling on to negative ideas and beliefs and hold ourselves back from our destiny. We can become the great caretakers of our world and explorers of our vast universe. World hunger, water shortages, disease and the disregard for life can be things of the past if only we can grow enough to except each other as we are and co-operate on a global level for the good of our world. Seems sad we still hold on to prejudices and hatreds that have plagued us since the dawn of civilization. We need to grow up as a species and take responsibility for the crimes we have committed towards our planet and all life that lives upon it. Take responsibility and begin healing the wounds we inflicted on our world as well as the hurt we caused to our fellow humans and animals alike. We need to get past our lust of money, power and the fear of the unknown.

MP900437376The future of our world and our species is in our hands and we should take life and all that is in it seriously. Not only this generation of humans are in danger by our current path, so are the many generations being born today and those that will follow.  We can let them inherit the mess of ours along with the aftermath of the problems from the generations before ours or we can step up to the plate and try to fix the problems we face today. Some of the choices we will have to make will be hard and will require sacrifices that we may not like but it is something we will have to do in order to change our future into  something our grandchildren can live in as well as enjoy.

We are the architects of the future and the students of the past.
Raymond Barbier