In life we face many trials and tribulations, everything from mistakes we have made to the loss of a loved one to death or separation. We tend to seek someone to blame for theses events and most of the time there is no one to blame. Sometimes things happen just because they do, yes there is always a cause per se but not one person to blame. And to be honest it really doesn’t matter who is to blame for an event. What is more important is what one gains from the event. Such as my Father dying of C.O.P.D., Did i learn that besides genetics that cigarette smoking created the situation that lead to my fathers death? Well yes, i have learned that and this is why i am in the process of quitting cigarettes my self. I also learned in the end it never matters what mistakes you have made as long as you learned from them and at least tried to make penance for them. We will make many mistakes along the way and we will also loose loved ones one way or another. But to have loved and lost is far greater than to have not loved at all they say. I am a firm believer of that idea, To share in ones life is a great and wondrous blessing we have in life. To not be only of ones self but of those that are around you makes one happier and more fulfilled.

One of the hardest parts of life is moving forward after loss and after realizing ones mistakes. The emptiness  after the loss and the guilt after the mistake can keep you paralyzed. This means you are stuck in your past and unable to move on to your future.  One must grieve over their loss and one must accept responsibility  for  their  mistakes and learn self forgiveness. This is a necessity  for one to move on in life.
I know it is hard when you loose a loved one and yes you will still feel sorrow from time to time but you also will remember allot of the great experiences that loved one had given and shared with you through life. And if you are lucky like i was you may see them in a dream where they console you. I was fortunate to have a dream in where my dad told me he would always be with me and he loved me. That helped me allot cause i had guilt about not seeing him as much as i should have near the end and how we drifted apart. I felt very sad about how alone he must have felt due to that fact. Sometimes i still do have those feelings but they are short lived and deep inside i know he knew i loved him. Far as mistakes in life i have made far more than my share and one by one i am learning to forgive myself for them. Its a sometimes is a long journey from being stuck in ones past to moving on but its one well worth it in the end.

Till The Next Post
Peace, Ray Barbier