A Man is allot like a coin because There is two sides to his personality, one dominant and one the seldom seen. The dominant side of the coin/man is what you see every day and is usually either aggressive ,controlling and or cold and intellectual side of him. This either can be manifested in a Macho or a passive aggressive persona. The other side of the coin is mainly what he considers to be his weaknesses and soft spots per se. The nurturing, caring and more emotional.
As young boys we are taught that showing emotions and or crying is not manlike and we usually would be ridiculed by our peers if not by adult men for such behavior. On the other hand we were praised when we excelled in sports or any other form of physical activity. Some boys were even coached to be bullies and or aggressive towards the less physically inclined males. Basically the alpha male syndrome promoted by our fathers who thought it would insure our success in the future.
In the days of hunting/gathering this was a practice that was surely needed to teach the boys in the tribe to survive and defend the group. As Civilization started to flourish this mentality was carried on into the fields of hunter and military. In modern times the practices of teaching aggression and alpha male-ism is still around the only problem is that it is not kept in check by rules and boundaries. With such large populations and a over crowded public school system it causes many social dysfunctions such as the development of the gang mentality.
There has been allot of noise on the news channels about the bullying problem in our school systems and on the internet. This is the alpha male/female syndrome in a perverted form. With no one to keep the young alphas in their place until they mature enough to distinguish between self preservation and cruel intimidation or abuse allows for the terrible results we have seen such as suicide and hospitalization.
Though there is still a need for the alpha and beta rankings among the children for the sake of both human survival and the process of learning the ranking system in society it should be done with respect. Respect is a word along with honor that is no longer thought in homes and schools like it used to. Self Respect and Respect for others should be the first lessons we teach our youths, then we should teach them of honor and integrity for that is what makes humans civilized.
We seem to spend more time pointing fingers towards who we want to be at fault for our children being aggressive and disrespectful instead of trying to correct the problem. Far as blame I will tell you it is each and every one of our faults, for if we do not work together to try and change the direction of our youth we all will face a future that may not be as bright as we would hope. To teach our children honor, self respect, respect for others and integrity we ourselves must lead in example. For the one thing that has not changed throughout the years is that the children learn allot of their behaviors from the parents and peers around them.
Agree or disagree with my ideals , but you can not disagree that their is a problem in the way our children are viewing and interacting with life. To be fair there are many children and teens that are wonderful and quite full of honor and respect but it takes only one or two bad apples to spoil the barrel. Parents, teachers and the community need to come together to address the issues that are at hand and work together to help our youth to flourish and thrive in the right ways and directions.
Enough of my Silly thoughts for now
Peace and Prosperity to All
Raymond Barbier
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- October Is Bullying Prevention Month (psychology.about.com)
- Bullying in Schools: Are Teachers and Administrators to Blame? (socyberty.com)
- “Take Five for Education: UT Expert on Helping Kids Deal with Bullies” and related posts (utk.edu)
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