Tag Archives: Child

It is what you do in-between that makes all the difference.

KIDS0043If I would have had a child of my own, I would try to teach him or her everything I could about the realities of this world. To prepare the child for the challenges of this modern and chaotic world we live in. What would I teach my child would be honesty, faith, hope and compassion for all living things. I would explain how it is okay not to have everything you want and that not everyone is going to like them or be their friend. Forgiveness is one thing I would push hard for my child to learn for to forgive others and yourself is to love unconditionally. To carry guilt beyond a week is unhealthy so forgive yourself for your mistakes. Mistakes are the way we learn how to and how not to live our life. I would teach my child how to love themselves as they are and to see the beauty they have within. I would try hard to teach them to love they way they look and not to be bothered by the opinions of others.

I would try to teach my child not to judge and to remember that they too are imperfect. No one is without sin or fault and that is a part of being a human. I would want them to understand that material possessions and wealth are just temporary means of happiness. That true happiness comes from within and no one can stop them from being happy unless they give that other person to do so. It is far better to tell the truth and face the consequences of your actions than to lie and face the consequences of the lie as well. Be true to yourself and be yourself regardless if others approve or not. For it is better to be who you really are than to live a lie of a life that makes you unhappy. Accept everyone for who and what they are for they are who they are and will only change when they decide to. Do not take any head to the differences of ones color, sex, religion, nationality or even their philosophy for they have the right to freewill. Love everyone and embrace the differences between each of us without judgment.

We are born as equals and we all die as equals so it is what you do in-between that makes all the difference. No man or woman is above or below one another for we are all the same in the end.  Speak kindly of others or say nothing of them at all for what you say can come back to haunt you. Think positive and act with compassion for how you live in your life is what defines who you are in the end. And last but not least that I would always love them no matter how they choose to live their life.

Teach your children how to be and how to live or someone else may teach them for you, and it may not be what you want them to learn.

Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

Still the same person deep inside

rayraydI remember as a child I would befriend anyone at a drop of a hat, I didn’t care about your religious beliefs, color of your skin, nationality or if you were the same or very different from me. When I was a child all the prejudices and complications of having different religious beliefs were not a concern to me in any way. I accepted everyone as is and if you didn’t like me or were cruel to me I just would avoid you until you were friendly and nice to me. Forgiving others for me as a child was second nature and accepting others as they were was my first nature. Now that I am older I still pretty much follow the same philosophies as when I was young, the only difference is I have to fight all the influences of the world as I do. Seems when we grow up we start making a simple process much more complicated for reasons that yet elude me.

I believe a lot of the problem with us when we grow up is we begin embracing the fear we shrugged off as children. Instead of letting go of fear and embracing compassion and understanding we embrace fear. The fear we faced as children was easily shrugged off because we had faith in our family, friends, other human beings and in a higher power. As we grow older we lose faith in one or not all of those things or at least our faith is weakened considerably as we grow older. I looked at everyone and everything as a part of my world and a part of a large family as a child. No one was a stranger and if you were a stranger it wasn’t for long. Some say that was naïveté and ignorance to the dangers of the world, I say it was faith in my fellow humans, compassion and understanding at work.

003The only times I was mad at others as a child is when I believed someone was being treated unkindly or unfair. I didn’t seem to like people taking advantage of each other, bullying each other or causing some kind of pain to others. But even though I would get mad and if I could stand up for the oppressed I quickly forgave the person or persons doing the wrong. Seems I lived in the now and let the past go easier back then. It is amazing how much we can learn from our youth both from the good things and the mistakes we had made. Though I know its impossible to be a child again and think exactly like I did, I can try to embrace the better qualities I lost during my years of life. I can revisit the memories of who I was and re awaken the child within me. Though I have grown up I am still the same person deep inside, I can shed the fear and the need for complication within my life.

Who I was as a child is the core of who I am now. It is that core which I must embrace and it is fear and the complication complex I must shed.
Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.

The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together.

dd43853The family unit is one of the most important part of society. Without a functional family unit t individuals would have no preparation for the harsh realities of life we all face. Some families are more functional than others and there are some that are quite dysfunctional. One of the shortcomings I see in modern-day families is that once the children approach the preteen and/or teen years the family group activities diminish if not cease to exist. Without family group activities the communications between the family members become less frequent as well as the trust that the family should have. The once close connection between parents and children break down as well as the connection between siblings. I had first hand experience with some of the problems mentioned above. I watched what once was a close family drift apart as I grew older.

I know that some of it is just a part of growing up, but it seems families are not as close as they once were and that the basic communication skills are lacking in the family unit. The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together. The family unit is a child‘s first social group along with its only true support structure. The child learns right from wrong, how to communicate with others and how to relate with the world outside through this or her family. Eventually the family unit will become second to the child’s social peers, and if there was not a strong bond amongst the family unit the social peers will be the social group that will influence the child the most.

The children and teens of today are the leaders, thinkers and the creative force of tomorrow. They are our greatest asset and the family unit is our greatest tool in molding and shaping their future as well as our own. Just something for all you out there to think about .

Peace and Wisdom be your Guiding light in life.
Raymond Barbier

Allow distractions to interfere with our lives

100_0063Life is short and full of distractions, if we allow ourselves to be distracted by things we tend to overlook and neglect the people who are important to us. So many things left unsaid and undone every day because of our willingness to allow distractions to interfere with our lives. We tend to put our families, friends and lovers on the back burner to our jobs and sometimes to our recreational activities. This can create tension in our relationships and usually it tends to create an unhappy atmosphere. I do not think that anyone purposely puts their career or recreation above their family, lovers or friends. I believe for the most part it is you start working more hours and etc. to give your family a better life financially. Our society has went from one that focused on the family and on making sure they had food, cloths, a roof over their head along with a good education to more of a materialistic society. Sure we still focus on the family and try to give them the necessities but we also try to make sure we keep up with the Jones’s next door.

  Trying to keep up with the Jones’s and Smith’s is one of those distractions that takes away the time and energy that could be focused on your family, lover and friends. Possessions can be stolen, lost and will eventually either break down or become obsolete unlike the love and companionship of friends and family.Maybe a camping trip or fishing trip with the kids and spouse would be better than buying a new game console for the kids or that atv. Togetherness and sharing experiences is what builds strong relationships along with good character in children.Family outings teaches children the importance of family and even friends.

  Now there isn’t anything wrong with wanting to give your family the things it wants along with the things it needs as long as you don’t work so many hours you are at loss for time to enjoy life with them. Now don’t get me wrong, I do understand one must work to pay the bills and keep a roof over their head. But you should always try to find time to spend with the family and worry less about the less important thing like luxury items.There is always a way to balance out things and a way to both give the family what it need and some of the things they want. We all just need to evaluate everything in our lives and prioritize with the family as the main focus.

“Family is the foundation of the life we live”

Raymond Barbier

Alpha, Beta and Bullies

Children volunteering
Image via Wikipedia

A Man is allot like a coin because There is two sides to his personality, one dominant and one the seldom seen. The dominant side of the coin/man is what you see every day and is usually either aggressive ,controlling and or cold and intellectual side of him. This either can be manifested in a Macho or a passive aggressive persona. The other side of the coin is mainly what he considers to be his weaknesses and soft spots per se. The nurturing, caring and more emotional.

As young boys we are taught that showing emotions and or crying is not manlike and we usually would be ridiculed by our peers if not by adult men for such behavior. On the other hand we were praised when we excelled in sports or any other form of physical activity. Some boys were even coached to be bullies and or aggressive towards the less physically inclined males. Basically the alpha male syndrome promoted by our fathers who thought it would insure our success in the future.

In the days of hunting/gathering this was a practice that was surely needed to teach the boys in the tribe to survive and defend the group. As Civilization started to flourish this mentality was carried on into the fields of hunter and military. In modern times the practices of teaching aggression and alpha male-ism is still around the only problem is that it is not kept in check by rules and boundaries. With such large populations and a over crowded  public school system it causes many social dysfunctions such as the development of the gang mentality.

  There has been allot of noise on the news channels about the bullying problem in our school systems and on the internet. This is the alpha male/female syndrome in a perverted form. With no one to keep the young alphas in their place until they mature enough to distinguish between self preservation and cruel intimidation or abuse allows for the terrible results we have seen such as suicide and hospitalization.

Though there is still a need for the alpha and beta rankings among the children for the sake of both human survival and the process of learning the ranking system in society it should be done with respect. Respect is a word along with honor that is no longer thought in homes and schools like it used to. Self Respect and Respect for others should be the first lessons we teach our youths, then we should teach them of honor and integrity for that is what makes humans civilized.

We seem to spend more time pointing fingers towards who we want to be at fault for our children being aggressive and disrespectful instead of trying to correct the problem. Far as blame I will tell you it is each and every one of our faults, for if we do not work together to try and change the direction of our youth we all will face a future that may not be as bright as we would hope. To teach our children honor, self respect, respect for others and integrity we ourselves must lead in example. For the one thing that has not changed throughout the years is that the children learn allot of their behaviors from the parents and peers around them.

  Agree or disagree with my ideals , but you can not disagree that their is a problem in the way our children are viewing and interacting with life. To be fair there are many children and teens that are wonderful and quite full of honor and respect but it takes only one or two bad apples to spoil the barrel. Parents, teachers and the community need to come together to address the issues that are at hand and work together to help our youth to flourish and thrive in the right ways and directions.

Enough of my Silly thoughts for now
Peace and Prosperity to All
Raymond Barbier