Tag Archives: Advice

Random thoughts Oct 19th 2018


I have found at times we tend to get stuck in a certain way of thinking. We get focused on one or more negative thoughts that we for some reason we believe we can not let go of. If you focus on negative thoughts you leave no room or time for all the positive thoughts trying to break through. We allow outside influences to control or lead or way of thinking as well, mental and emotional discipline is something very few have at a high level and is something we all need and could use.

Many Eastern world philosophies and religions focus on centering the mind and controlling emotions. Methods such as meditation and physical arts such as Thai Chi and yoga also can help with mental/emotional discipline. To allow circumstances and external influence such as other people around us and their beliefs and opinions to control our mood and state of mind is basically surrendering all to chance and happenstance.

Humans have the unique ability to choose what they feel, think and do through their will, This is what makes humans one of the most unique species on the planet. When one learns to control their emotions and thoughts there is very little that person cannot do or face in life. Emotions such as fear, anger, jealousy, greed, and pride only hinder your true potential. They are the stumbling blocks of human existence and the enemy of our spiritual advancement.

Life is the greatest treasure we have and when we put material gain and self-gratification above our own life or that of others, we only lose sight of the things in life that truly matter. Take care of the material things but do not let the true treasures of life be put on the back burner.

Live life fully by your own will, treasure those things in life that truly matter to you and do not allow the opinions of others nor the trap of greed and envy stand in the way of your true happiness. Be the master of your mind and heart, live life as the master of your own destiny.

 

 

 

 

Random thoughts Oct 17th 2018


Life is fleeting, shorter than we want to believe or know. We always believe tomorrow a person we love will be there by our side. We lose that person be it permanently due to death or in other ways such as divorce and regret not treating the other person better, loving them more than we did. We get so caught up in our own little reality bubble we forget about the importance of loving one another and enjoying the day with loved ones.

When they leave us and we face the loss we see that many of the things we believed were important really were of no importance. We put way too much above and before those we love, sometimes we even judge them by ridiculously high standards. Most of the time we expect others to live by our own self-imposed standards or even at a higher standard than we expect ourselves to live by. Instead, we should never impose standards on others, just accept them as the person they are. No person is perfect, nor are they going to think and behave the same as we do. That is individuality, the uniqueness of each person.

This does not mean we shouldn’t want others to improve, do better than they are in life. We should encourage growth and change in others. We just should not feel disappointed or angry if they do not progress as fast as we would like or if they chose to pursue a path we may see as wrong or dangerous. We should only advise one another and be accepting of the choices we all have the right to make on our own.

Love one another unconditionally, be good to one another, including your own self. Life is short, so do not waste it in regret or in judgment.

Random Thoughts 05-07-2018


Sometimes People walk through their life blind to the great blessings they have around them. They get hung up on either what they don’t have or what they think they should have.  Many get stuck in the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence mentality and overlook all green grass and potential in their own yard. Maybe it due to some folks too scared to put the work in to their life and relationships or they feel it is all a lost cause where they are in life. Nothing comes easy in life, nothing comes to be without some mental or physical effort.

You want a better life you have to work at it, work on changing yourself , the environment you are in and the circumstances that surround you. First thing is to get rid of both the negative and defeatist mentality that holds you back and keeps you from seeing not only the blessings around you but the potential blessings and happiness you can obtain.

Happiness is something you have within yourself, it is something that you alone create and maintain. Outside influences can affect your happiness but only as long and as much as you allow them too. In the end it is you that decide to be happy or not.  Most unhappiness comes from setting you goals way too high or expecting too much out of yourself and others. Do things in baby steps and try to see you are only human and so are those around you. We all are prone to make mistakes and we all at one time or another fall short of the expectations of others and even our own self.

Instead of dwelling on the mistakes, shortcomings and where we may lack in our abilities etc. , we should be focusing on the positive circumstances and experiences along with our known abilities. Work with what you have and add to it as you move forward, stop looking backwards and look ahead. Glancing back occasionally is fine if you do it for retrospection and to see where you went wrong in order to avoid the same mistakes, but it is not good to dwell on the past mistakes in such a way you let it fill your heart with despair and doubt.

Learn from your past mistakes but do not punish yourself beyond the moment they had happened. Grieve and move on, remembering the lessons learned not the pain associated with them.  This is why forgiveness is so important, not only does forgiveness release the person who done the wrong but it heals the person that had been wronged. Carrying grief, anger and remorse only holds one down and back from being the happy and loving person they are meant to be.

If you can move on from your past mistakes it frees you up to focus all that energy and time towards changing your life and yourself. You become free to be yourself and live life the way you are meant to. Gives you the time to tend to your own garden or yard per se and make it greener than any grass on the other side of the fence.

In a nut shell negative emotions are meant to teach us and be there to warn us, they are meant to be in the moment not a lifelong experience. Our life is what we make of it , we are the masters of our own life and destiny. How you live your life and how happy you are in it is your personal choice and responsibility.

 

Well there is my random thoughts today, just an average mans opinions and thoughts. May you find happiness and serenity in your life, always remember to think for yourself and question everything.

Ray Barbier

Trust, The lack of and its effects on Relationships


bnf0429All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.

p10055 Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.

Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness

Ray Barbier

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