Tag Archives: Family

Envy: Destroyer of self worth



We all at one point or another fell prey to Envy, counting the blessings of our neighbor instead of counting our own. Be it at work, at home, or in our social circle there is always someone who has more or better than we do.

To be honest, I think Envy can not be totally removed from human nature, but it can be put in check as soon as it comes out to play. I think it’s instinctive to see what someone else has that brings them the appearance of happiness and to want it for ourselves, that is not so much the issue as when we think we should take it from them to obtain it instead of working to achieve and obtain it on our own.

In the Workplace

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Being I’ve been around for over a 1/2 century, I have experienced Envy in the workplace from both ends of its pointy stick. I suffered from it a few times in my earlier years of life. Watching some people just seem to get all the breaks and promotions, get higher wages than me, or get to goof off all day while I worked.

At least that was how I perceived it when I experienced it, and I spent too much time worrying over those other people instead of doing my job better. Now that I’ve matured, I have learned to focus on what I am doing and not worry about what others are doing.

unless I am in a supervisor position, and even then I only pay attenuation to what I am required to in that role. I guess part of it is that I have learned to be happy with what I have been blessed with now, instead of worrying about what other people are blessed with.

The Social Circle

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Ok, This is one place I Suffered Envy the most I think, especially in my teenage years. Being I was just an average run-of-the-mill guy, with no athletic skills and unfortunately low self-esteem, I was one of those barely noticed or remembered guys from your high school days.

Envy filled my veins when it came to the cool kids, the lady’s men, and the geniuses around me. Always wanting what was theirs instead of seeing I had plenty I was not aware of or using at that time.

Hindsight is 20/20 as they say, so much I missed out on due to my poor self-image and lack of confidence. Only if we could go back and do it again with what we know now eh? lol.

The Family Unit

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Another Weak spot for me when I was young, I had an older brother, so I was the younger brother. I always felt like I was less than him since he had 3 years on me. I envied his popularity, his luck with the ladies, and his independent spirit. He could be a bit of a smarty pants and a bully at times too (the 2 things I didn’t want to emulate).

Of course, as I hit my later teens I didn’t envy him as much as I disliked his attitude towards me, but that’s siblings for you. Mind you now I look back and think how stupid I was for wanting to be more like him instead of being more like me 🙂


Conclusion:

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Through years of both experiencing and observing Envy in its many flavors it comes in, I have watched it ruin people’s lives when they let it take root for too long. Watched people lose their careers, their friends, and even.

Best to count your own blessings than to worry about the blessings of others. Focus on making your own life better than desiring the life of someone else. The grass may look greener in your neighbor’s yard, but sometimes if you look closely it is mainly crabgrass.

Envy and its sister jealousy are both destroyers of happiness and are detrimental to your emotional and mental well-being.

Be Good to one another, and be thankful for what you have been blessed with

Raymond Barbier

Random thought 7/30/15


When I Look at the smile on my niece’s face it reminds me of a time when I believe in humanity. It brings back the hope and wonder I once felt as child. It also makes me think about the world we are living in today and if as a whole we all don’t change course the world she will inherit will be one full of turmoil, fear and hate.

Hope is still in my heart that one day humanity will learn to get along with itself and all other living beings, creatures alike. Maybe one day we will learn to look beyond the illusion of separation and the misconception that one person can be above or below another. We all come into this world the same way and we all have only one way out. So between the miracle of birth and the certainty of death we should find the strength and courage to put aside all our differences to make a better world for the children of today to inherit as well as the future generations yet to come.

Truthfully most of the so-called differences between each of us is superficial or non-existent. We all desire happiness and peace within our lifetime. We all want a better world for the children and a happier existence for both ourselves and those around us. Only when we put aside such things as greed, fear and hate will we as a species be able to survive and flourish.

When I look at the smile on my niece’s face I see the hope of humanity, in the eyes of every child I see humanity’s salvation. The Children are the key to our future and we are the ones who decide what direction this world will be heading when those children inherit it from us.

Random thoughts before coffee 5/7/2015


009They all have forgotten we are still in a struggle to survive. the self preservationists and collective now is to be revived. Our separation due to desperation only destroys the structure we all are part of and rely on.  No man or woman is an island upon them selves, we function better as a family than if we are solo. Differences of opinion and points of view can change if not just add flavor to the collection of the group mindset.

Divided we shall fall but unified we shall stand, choose which way you wish to walk through this short life my friend. You have the choice to listen to the mass hysteria and mob mentality or the inner voice within us all. It is solely your decision and only you can make the call.  Judge me as you see fit, for you will do so regardless of what  say or do. for you are who you are till you choose to change yourself. Enemy or foe , the way you perceive me and others is up to you. Till you see I am not the enemy I will wait patiently with hand extended in friendship and in peace.

I don’t claim to know all the answers for I am but one small cog in the machine works of what we call life. Alone I am insignificant, but as a part of the whole I am intricate and necessary for some small reason unknown to me.  I see now we all are pieces of something larger than ourselves, even if we don’t acknowledge that fact or not we play a part in it all. Each part is equal to another, though some may be glorified more than others. Every part played has to be in order for the end product to manifest.

 

Ok, very random and odd thoughts that came out of my muddled brain early in the morning. Enjoy

Ray Barbier

Random thoughts before coffee 5/7/2015 was originally published on Mind Exposure

Random thoughts before coffee 5/7/2015


009They all have forgotten we are still in a struggle to survive. the self preservationists and collective now is to be revived. Our separation due to desperation only destroys the structure we all are part of and rely on.  No man or woman is an island upon them selves, we function better as a family than if we are solo. Differences of opinion and points of view can change if not just add flavor to the collection of the group mindset.

Divided we shall fall but unified we shall stand, choose which way you wish to walk through this short life my friend. You have the choice to listen to the mass hysteria and mob mentality or the inner voice within us all. It is solely your decision and only you can make the call.  Judge me as you see fit, for you will do so regardless of what  say or do. for you are who you are till you choose to change yourself. Enemy or foe , the way you perceive me and others is up to you. Till you see I am not the enemy I will wait patiently with hand extended in friendship and in peace.

I don’t claim to know all the answers for I am but one small cog in the machine works of what we call life. Alone I am insignificant, but as a part of the whole I am intricate and necessary for some small reason unknown to me.  I see now we all are pieces of something larger than ourselves, even if we don’t acknowledge that fact or not we play a part in it all. Each part is equal to another, though some may be glorified more than others. Every part played has to be in order for the end product to manifest.

 

Ok, very random and odd thoughts that came out of my muddled brain early in the morning. Enjoy

Ray Barbier

Random thoughts before coffee 5/7/2015 was originally published on Mind Exposure

Random Thoughts:12-14-2014


rayrayd_edited-1When we are young we rarely think of death, we lack the fear of death and the we don’t understand the fact life is fleeting and temporary.  That innocence we had as children made life so wonderful and free, unfortunately as we grow older we experience the loss of friends, family and others around us. Slowly the reality of our mortality sinks in and bit by bit our innocence disappears. Instead of owning both our life and our eventual end we tend to slowly give in to fear. That fear strips us of our happiness and steals the time we are supposed to enjoy living.

Life is not supposed to be all about fearing its end, its supposed to be about living in the moment and enjoying the precious time we have with those whom we love and enjoy being with. Being our life is so short , we should try to be loving, caring and compassionate beings and learn to love and forgive one another unconditionally.

Unfortunately there is always great injustice in this world as well as inequality. Though a lot of that is beyond our control , but a good part of it is within our own hands to change. If each one of us lived our lives respecting one another and embracing one another as unique individuals and equals then a good part of what ails society would be diminished.  There will always be problems to face in this world be it on the street or in the high offices of government. This will not change until the heart of humanity changes within its self.

To end todays Random Thoughts I will leave you with a quote from a popular song that rings true in my heart at least.

He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother– The Hollies  (1969)

The Human Spirit and Fellowship


tpl_7_pplIt is amazing how people can go through so much pain, loss and tragedy  and still stand strong. The human spirit can overcome almost anything that is thrown at it, especially when there are those around you to lend some of their love and strength to you. When we stand together we are far stronger than when we stand alone. The friendship and fellowship between us are but bonds of love on many levels. This bond is part of the strength that keeps us from falling and giving up.

hnd0002  This is why it is important to have you hand extended to all that are in need, not only do you help them with your strength and compassion they become a part of your strength if you allow them. The more you befriend the more strength you have at your disposal and the more you can help others, be they friends or not. We must not limit our compassion to family or our circle of friends for that only limits our strength and our ability to grow.

dd43853We are here to lean on one another when we are not as strong and lend each other support and each others strength to get through the rough times. We are here to celebrate life together and enjoy the blessings we have. As long as we don’t allow selfishness, pride and fear to fill our hearts there is little we can not accomplish or overcome.

 

We should not waste time fearing death, instead we should spend that time cherishing life and those we share life with.

Ray Barbier

Life is short, so cherish every moment you can with those you love .


002In this modern world there seem to be way too many distractions and things that overload our minds. So much to distract us from what is truly important to us and keep our minds focused away from what needs to be done.  We allow such things as television, radio and even our jobs to either distract us or get in the way of quality time with our family and friends. So easy to just zone out and watch a TV show or play a computer game and ignore things needed to get done. So easy to ignore everyone around us whom need our attention, affection and companionship.

I have seen so many couples live together but really just share the same space instead of sharing their lives. The become so self-absorbed  within their little universe that they barely acknowledge one another.

We all love our little distraction, but we must learn to set aside time for our love ones and to manage our time so we do not neglect the people and things that are important in our lives. Enjoy the distractions but don’t let them be a hurdle or roadblock in your life. Find time to spend with your family and friends along with some quiet time for yourself.  Life is short, so cherish every moment you can with those you love.

far easier to ignore and be blind


homeless-youthSo many  people in need in our world and so little reason they should be. There is plenty of food and clean water to go around if it isn’t wasted. I think we as a society have grown somewhat complacent and believe our governments are responsible for the well-being of those in need. The fact is each and every one of us are responsible for the wellbeing of ourselves and others. Very little would we have to sacrifice to make another persons life better. Sometimes its just a conversation, an opportunity to provide for themselves or just a simple meal for someone who is hungry. Though throwing money at a problem may treat the symptom but it does not cure the disease.

481243_518998361486259_1417117953_nPOOR-SLOB-Even though there are those that take advantage of the system per se, many are truly willing to work and be a productive part of society. Those whom take advantage of the system should be rooted out and those willing to better themselves should become the main focus. Far as those unable to work or take care of themselves , they are the responsibility of the community in whole.  Some of those in need could be trained and put in charge of taking care of those whom need assistance and others trained to be better suited for a new career as well.

olympics_vancouver_homeless-450x279There are so many of us whom can lend a helping hand to our brothers and sisters who don’t and others decide to turn a blind eye to the truth all around them. Its far easier to ignore and be blind to the suffering of others than face the truth of how many are in need right here in our own country as well in all the nations of the world.We all need to wake up and open our eyes to the needs of our  brothers and sisters. If we all just gave 5 minutes each a day to help others it would change a lot, imagine if we all gave an hour. Just remember it only takes one bad decision or major life event to turn your happy and secure life into a homeless and hungry one.

We all are brothers and sisters in this lifetime we live, we don’t always have to agree or even get along. We just need to have compassion, love and understanding towards each other and even ourselves.

Raymond  Barbier

All we do is lose the essence of who we are


rayraydRemember that child that saw the world as brand new and awesome,? Remember that child who had unbreakable faith and faced fear with conviction? Remember when you saw life as an adventure both in your imagination and day-to-day life? Remember when that child was forced to be hidden within you by society and your peers? Why does it have to be that we must put away the goodness of Ourselves in order to live in the world? Yes the bible speaks of putting away childish things, it was speaking of the immaturity of being a child and the naivety. The essence of who you are was formed during childhood and that part being a child we shouldn’t had left behind. We allow the stress, competition and rigidness of adult life to become more important than all our loves, friendships and even sometimes family. We keep who we are close to our vest and rarely show others who we truly are. We do such in hopes of protecting ourselves but in the end all we do is lose the essence of who we are.

We should be who we truly are and not hide the wondrous person god had made us to be. We may be ever-changing but there is a core of our personality we always have and should embrace. That silly, playful and all loving child within is the person God had meant us to be. That child that has no hate, anger or jealousy beyond a fleeting moment, that child that loves everyone and forgives quicker than he can be hurt. That child who looks for the goodness is everyone he meets. It takes a brave person to be and show their true self and that inner child.

Do not let the world and its cold rigidness hold back the warm and loving nature God has made within you. For its better to be a child of God than a person of the world.

Ray Barbier

Live each day as if it was your first day and your last


024 We only have a short time to experience, enjoy and live our life. Some of us have longer some have shorter but in the grand scheme of things all our lifetimes are but a drop in an endless sea of time. This is why we shouldn’t hold on to negative emotions and thoughts for any length of time because they are usually a waste of energy and cause more harm to ourselves than it does to anyone else. We should cherish each moment we have, be thankful for each day we are blessed to wake and see. We should help one another and be kind, for if we all did such this world would be a much happier place to live in. We all want happiness and we all want happiness for our family and friends. Even though our vision of what happiness may vary in the end it’s all about living in peace and harmony with each other. Kind thoughts, words and actions are the key to happiness for both you and those you interact with. Sure there are some people for one reason or another choose to be bitter, unresponsive to kindness or love. But that shouldn’t sway you from the path of kindness, peace and love.

Live each day as if it was your first day and your last, See the world as a child and cherish is like a person who would die tomorrow. Look at everything in wonder like it’s the first time you’ve seen it. Watch the sunrise and enjoy it like you did as a young child. Embrace life and accept one another as is. For none of us truly knows when our day will come to meet our end. So many family members and friends I have had have already left this world. And so much was unsaid and undone.

Live each day as both the child and the elderly, keep wonder in your heart and be thankful as well as cherish each morning.

Ray Barbier