Category Archives: Family

3d Environments, Active Worlds, creative commons, Family, friends, Personal, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Online Families, Real and Important

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In this modern age, the old practice of writing letters between penpals has pretty much faded into the anals of history. Now it is all social media, online communities, email, and chat programs. Sometimes you get lucky and find yourself extended family online, and if you are really lucky you will find someone who is like a real family member. Just because you never meet physically does not mean the friendship you built is any less valid or important to you.

I have been fortunate enough to be a part of one such family, I belong to a community on a 3d environment platform called Activeworlds (www.activeworlds.com) and have been building 3d cities and worlds for decades along side some of the most unique individuals I have ever known. Sure the community is like a somewhat dysfunctional family at times but I love everyone there. Even those who probably do not like me very much.

Just like in real life, I have lost quite a few people who were like real family to me, most of them to death a few to circumstances or they just moved on for one reason or another. Each one of them as they left our community took a piece of me and the community with them. Currently, I am praying for a few of those people in Activeworlds that are dealing with some medical issues of their own. I also worry over one or two that decided to either leave the community or just decided to no longer communicate with me.

The point is, does not matter if it is online, or if its in real life. Friends are friends, and they all mean something to your heart and soul. Just don’t forget those friends online are real people and need your support and deserve respect as well. Cherrish them for there is no guarantee of how long any of us are here on this shiny blue marble we call home. That really goes for both online and real-life people, life is short so forgive, forget and embrace those in your life that you have been blessed with to have as family and friends.

Be good to one another, rememebr to be kind and respectful.

Ray Barbier

Family, friends, Poems and Writings, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Life is short so we need to embrace life and love full-heartedly

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As we age, most of us face times when we feel as if we are burdens on others, that we are not wanted, needed, or loved. This is pretty normal I believe, we tend to value our own worth by the actions, reactions, and words of others. As much as we all know that we shouldn’t rely on others to establish our self-worth, we still do to a degree. So when life gets hectic, overwhelming,, and full of distractions, those we love don’t always show us attention, and become irritable and stressed. We sometimes get the end of all the stressors in our loved ones’ lives, they unintentionally unload all the frustrations and stress on us.

This can lead us to believe that we are no longer loved, wanted, or needed in their lives. We must remember that everyone has stress and life can be challenging for us all. We need to put away our insecurities and help our loved ones. Once we are able to stop worrying over if they do or don’t love us or need us etc., then we can work on helping them through the turbulence that life loves to throw at us all. We love them, and more than likely they love us as well, they chose to be with us in the beginning or are our blood relatives and will continue to be by our side.

Wasting so much time and energy worrying about if you are loved, wanted, or if someone sees you as a burden is pointless. Instead, we should use all that time and energy on making life easier and happier for everyone involved. Love is supposed to be a shared experience, unconditional and selfless. Though it may occasionally dip and sway off track it should always return to its course. I say just love the person you love with all your heart and let the rest take care of itself, don’t waste your precious time on worry or doubts. Life is short so we need to embrace life and love full-heartedly.

Ray Barbier

Family, Health

Meditation holds the potential to help treat children suffering from traumas, difficult diagnoses or other stressors – a behavioral neuroscientist explains

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Meditation and mindfulness techiques are becoming increasingly common in school settings. Alexander Egizarov/EyeEm

Hilary A. Marusak, Wayne State University

The Research Brief is a short take about interesting academic work.

The big idea

Children actively meditating experience lower activity in parts of the brain involved in rumination, mind-wandering and depression, our team found in the first brain-imaging study of young people under 18 years old. Over-activity in this collection of brain regions, known as the default mode network, is thought to be involved in the generation of negative self-directed thoughts – such as “I am such a failure” – that are prominent in mental disorders like depression.

In our study, we compared a simple form of distraction – counting backward from 10 – with two relatively simple forms of meditation: focused attention to the breath and mindful acceptance. Children in an MRI scanner had to use these techniques while watching distress-inducing video clips, such as a child receiving an injection.

We found that meditation techniques were more effective than distraction at quelling activity in that brain network. This reinforces research from our lab and others showing that meditation techniques and martial arts-based meditation programs are effective for reducing pain and stress in children with cancer or other chronic illnesses – and in their siblings – as well as in schoolchildren during the COVID-19 pandemic.

This study, led by medical student Aneesh Hehr, is important because meditation techniques such as focused attention on the breath or mindful acceptance are popular in school settings and are increasingly used to help children cope with stressful experiences. These might include exposures to trauma, medical treatments or even COVID-19-related stress. https://www.youtube.com/embed/SpjWb9teKSY?wmode=transparent&start=0 Here’s what happened at one elementary school that made meditation part of its curriculum.

Why it matters

Researchers know a lot about what is happening in the brain and body in adults while they meditate, but comparable data for children has been lacking. Understanding what is happening in children’s brains when they meditate is important because the developing brain is wired differently from the adult brain.

These findings are also important because caregivers and health care providers often use distraction methods like iPads or toys to help children cope with pain and distress, such as medical procedures. However, those techniques may largely rely on the prefrontal cortex, which is underdeveloped in youth.

This means that stress and emotion regulation techniques that rely on the prefrontal cortex may work well for adults but are likely to be less accessible to children. Meditation techniques may not be dependent upon the prefrontal cortex and may therefore be more accessible and effective for helping children manage and cope with stress.

What’s next

We still have a great deal to learn about how meditation affects brain development in children. This includes what types of meditation techniques are most effective, the ideal frequency and duration, and how it affects children differently.

Our study focused on a relatively small sample of 12 children with active cancer, as well as survivors who may have experienced significant distress over the diagnosis, treatment and uncertainty about the future. Future studies with larger sample sizes – including children with a wider diversity of diagnoses and exposures to early adversity or trauma – will help researchers like us to better understand how meditation affects the brain and body in children.

Our findings underscore the need to understand precisely how meditation techniques work. Exciting recent studies have begun to examine how participating in mindfulness and meditation-based programs can shape brain functioning in children.

Understanding how these techniques work is also essential for optimizing how they could be applied in health care settings, such as coping with needle-related procedures or for helping children manage the negative effects of stress and trauma.

Hilary A. Marusak, Assistant Professor of Psychiatry and Behavioral Neurosciences, Wayne State University

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

creative commons, Family, friends, Personal, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Random Thoughts 4/20/2022

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Photo by Andrew Neel on Pexels.com

People wonder why there is so much low self-esteem in the world, if you take a good look at television shows, commercials, social media, movies, and even the news on cable news stations you just may see some of the reasons for low self-esteem, but then there is also how one’s family treats them, their peers and the educational system.

When you are constantly bombarded with images of thin, fit, and muscular actors, advertisements aimed to push miracle vitamins and supplements to fix all your shortcomings, it is very hard to hold on to a good self-image and even harder to build it up. Constantly being told that having a perfect body weight, toned muscles, the right clothes, and accessories makes one beautiful and successful is making it hard for most people to maintain healthy self-esteem.

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Unfortunately, fashion, the newest electronics, and possessions play a big part in teenage self-image, which makes it hard for those who don’t have the money to compete with their peers. Combining that with parents that have to work 2 jobs or inconvenient hours to maintain the quality of life they have only makes it harder on teenagers and kids.

The ones that seem to suffer the worst during school years are those that don’t quite fit the norm, the overweight, the below-average to average looking, and the sensitive passive individuals. Bullying from those who think they are cool, tougher, and better than others does not help the situation at all. The consequences of bullying are usually mild and it seems it’s hard to catch kids bullying or maybe some just overlook it.

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Parents and siblings also play a large part in the development of a child’s self-esteem, they can be either a positive or negative force when it comes to a child’s self-image. Siblings usually are competing for the parent’s attention, love and favor so they tend to be very mean to one another. Parents on the other hand usually are trying to do what’s best for the child but don’t realize what works for one child does not always work for the other. Each child is a unique individual, they have different needs and need help in different ways. Some parents, unfortunately, don’t know how to deal with their children at all so they try to treat them as if they are adults way before the child or teen is emotionally and mentally ready to do so. This usually results in conflict and the child/teen becomes rebellious and has a poor self-image.

If the low self-esteem is not addressed and corrected during the child/teen years then it is carried into the adult years. That makes it very hard for the Adult to achieve a healthy relationship with a significant other and even harder for them to become successful in the work world.

Raising kids is not an easy task, being a parent means you have to be a caregiver, advisor, instructor, friend, leader, cook, counselor, and of course an ATM for the children lol. Helping a child navigate the battlefields of youth and preparing them for the many challenges they will have to face in the future is not an easy thing to accomplish. All you can do is give it your best shot and always be there for them when they need you.

Photo by Matheus Ferrero on Pexels.com

I myself have had self-esteem issues throughout my life, I have been battling low self-esteem for many decades. I could go down a list of all the things that caused my low self-esteem but what is the use of that now that it now falls squarely on me to repair the damage and improve myself. Plus the first step in moving on and building up your self-esteem/self-image is to forgive those who helped in destroying it and letting go of your own contributions to the whole mess as well.

Just know this, there is no one better than you, but then there is no one lesser than you. We all are unique, we all have our own gifts to embrace and shortcomings that we need to deal with. There is no one on this planet that does not have some emotional or psychological baggage to deal with. How much money you have, and how many toys you have has nothing to do with who you are or how good you are. What defines you is how you live life, and how you treat others and yourself.

Being successful sure feels good, being financially well off does make life easier in many ways, but money, possessions, and success are fleeting, they can be gone in an instant. Family and friends to me are far more important along with how I treat others, and how I live my life. Those things will be with me throughout my life.

Well, I wish you happiness, remember it does not matter what others think or say about you, it is what you know about yourself that matters the most.

Ray Barbier

Family, friends, Personal, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Random Thoughts 1-17-2018

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011_thumb.jpgOn my path through life I was faced with the decision of either continuing down a path that was killing my spirit slowly, a place of employment where I could not be myself and I was constantly put down. Well to make the story short after a supervisor yelled at me and threatened me I chose to walk away. After which I found so many people willing to be there for me in heart, spirit and even financially. I feel the Negative forces of the universe thought it would destroy me and in the end it just gave me more faith in humanity and God.

Though Times may get rough for me down the road far as finances, I will survive and I shall find a new path to walk. More faith in my heart and soul than there has been in over a decade or two I face the road ahead with many by my side. The point is this, No matter what life may throw at you there is always the good things it throws in with it, if your willing to accept them or not they are there. Just good to see folks living by the ideal that he/she is not heavy he/she is my brother/sister mentality and heart.

Thank you and God Bless every one of you for the Moral support and financial as well. I am so blessed to have good friends, be they online or in person…

 

Family, friends, Holidays, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Random thoughts 11-14-2016

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Thanksgiving is just around the corner here in the United States, a time to give thanks for all that has been bestowed upon you and the blessing of life itself. It is the time of the year to remember those we have lost and a time to celebrate those we have found. It is also a time to realize how blessed we are to still be here and alive.

During this holiday season put your past and the past of others behind you and celebrate the gift of the here and now. Forgive and forget so the future we face will be a brighter one for all of us. Most of al forgive yourself, hard to move on to the future if your stuck in the regrets of things from your past. Embrace one another, for we are all we have here on this journey of life. Your friends and family are the foundation of your life and should be the ones you embrace and celebrate.

Hope each one of you have a blessed day and a happy Thanksgiving

Ray Barbier

Family, Personal, Poems and Writings, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

if there is no trust then love gets twisted

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002Love and matters of the heart are complicated but yet simple. The complication comes from our doubts and fear of being hurt most of the time.  Sometimes this comes from past experiences and other times it comes from the lack of experience in being truly loved. Also self-worth and doubt can be a big problem as well, but trust plays one of the biggest parts in love and happiness. One can not love someone and be loved and not trust, if there is no trust then love gets twisted into jealousy and possessiveness.

One problem is when someone trusts and loves another with all their heart and are betrayed they tend to get a very deep scar emotionally and mentally. This scar or wound is not easily healed and will tend to affect future relationships as well as any kind of reconciliation in the current relationship. Trust is not easily rebuilt after a betrayal of the heart.

Forgiveness is a key to healing, but it is not always easy to forgive when you’ve been emotionally devastated by the actions of someone you’ve loved and trusted.  We must realize though they betrayed us, they are only human and thus being are prone to be imperfect in action and thoughts. No relationship is perfect either, when you have two people who have been raised differently and had different life experiences trying to become a single  unit there is bound to be times of turbulence during the adjustment period of a newer relationship. Usually in time most differences are either remedied or put aside for the sake of the relationship.

Remember to not judge your partner too harshly, for you have faults just like they do. Compassion, understanding and forgiveness should always play a part in a relationship. Trust is the most important I believe and so is respect, respect for yourself and for your partner. No relationship is beyond repair, but there are some relationships that because of the hurt feelings , verbal and physical abuse that may be better off just letting go of and ending it than trying to save it.

Love is a very precious thing and so is the trust required to have a relationship. Think wisely before entering a relationship and work diligently to maintain and improve it. It takes some work and sometimes a long time to have a great relationship and other times you luck out and find a partner that’s like a soul mate. even those soul mate type relationships require maintenance and work to keep them going.

Life is a long journey that seems to be quickly traveled, so remember to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily and look for the silver lining in every moment you experience.

Ray Barbier

Family, friends, Personal, Poems and Writings, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Random Thoughts on 7/4/2013

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HPIM0064We walk through our life half blinded by what we perceive as reality and unaware of the beauty that life and this world has laid before us. Friendships, family and the relationships we have along with the bonds we make within our lifetime are to be cherished. We influence people we meet  directly by being a part of their lives and we can affect others through the footprints we leave. We can also influence one person  who can carry that influence to others. We can also write a blog and through it influence the thoughts of readers and other bloggers. We are far more intertwined as a species than we like to admit.

The words or actions of one can affect so many without even being the intention nor being realized by the person who initiated it all.  Once we realize how much our words and actions can affect and influence others we must face the fact we are responsible for the results brought about by them. We should always be conscious of our actions and words as well as the consequences they can bring. We also should be cautious and conscious of the actions and words of others so we can be in control of what influences us as well. We must not walk through life half blinded and half awake, we should be fully awake and aware of all that is around us. We should be aware of the responsibility of being alive and the consequences of our actions and words. We also should always cherish the life we have been given to live and know it is a blessing.

Be aware, Be Awake and take responsibility for your actions and words. Be thankful and cherish the one life we have to live.

Ray Barbier

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Family, friends, Personal, Poems and Writings, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day

Words of wisdom or wishful thoughts.

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IMG_1326_edited-1To love is to live, to live is to experience Love. To fear is to miss out on love and life. To fear love is to deny yourself happiness, to fear rejection is to deny yourself personal growth and the chance to succeed. To fear what others think is to throw away your chance to be who you are truly meant to be. To be like everyone else or follow the crowd is to deny yourself individuality. To deny you are a part of the whole is to deny yourself the fellowship it can bring along with the strength it can give you. To think you are strong by your own is to set yourself p for a great fall. To think you are wise is only proof you are yet a fool. To recognize your lack of wisdom and accept your faults  is the first step in becoming wise. To think you have learned it all only will deny you the truth and answers you seek. To hold a grudge and not forgive only hurts you and does nothing to the one that you begrudge. To judge others harshly only sets you up to be judged in the same way.

Be humble, Be kind, Try not to judge and if you do, do it with compassion. Love one another unconditionally and learn to forgive others as well as your own self

Ray Barbier

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Family, friends, Poems and Writings, Question of the day, Random Thoughts, Thought of the day, Thought's on World Issues

Why is being right more important than doing the right thing?

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IMG_1077Sometime we tend to be our own worst enemy, we get wrapped up in what we think we want and neglect what we truly need. This seems to be the dilemma of humanity.  We are social creatures for the most art but it seems we have become more focused on our individuality than the group, clan or community. We forgot how to care and be part of a community and to work together. It’s all about taking care of ourselves and our own instead of we are all a part of an extended family. It’s all good to be an individual and to express such, but not at the expense of  loosing our connection from the great family of humanity.

We allow politics, religion, race, culture and many other things get in the way of being the great creation God made us to be. We as a species are capable of doing such good and amazing things when we work together and put our differences aside. We are all basically the same, we all really want peace, love and happiness for ourselves, our family and especially for our children. Why cant that be enough of a motive for us to be civilized and mature enough to be at peace with one another and learn to work together to make this world a better place for everyone? Why is greed more important than your neighbor or the poor guy begging for his next meal? Why is being right more important than doing the right thing?

It is far better to be poor and have your next meal than to be rich and want for nothing, for without anything to aspire for there is little to enjoy. It is far more important to do the right thing than to worry about who is right or wrong. For doing the right thing is being in the right and worrying about who is right or not is such a waste of time and energy.

Raymond Barbier

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