Category Archives: Family

Random thoughts 11-14-2016


Thanksgiving is just around the corner here in the United States, a time to give thanks for all that has been bestowed upon you and the blessing of life itself. It is the time of the year to remember those we have lost and a time to celebrate those we have found. It is also a time to realize how blessed we are to still be here and alive.

During this holiday season put your past and the past of others behind you and celebrate the gift of the here and now. Forgive and forget so the future we face will be a brighter one for all of us. Most of al forgive yourself, hard to move on to the future if your stuck in the regrets of things from your past. Embrace one another, for we are all we have here on this journey of life. Your friends and family are the foundation of your life and should be the ones you embrace and celebrate.

Hope each one of you have a blessed day and a happy Thanksgiving

Ray Barbier

if there is no trust then love gets twisted


002Love and matters of the heart are complicated but yet simple. The complication comes from our doubts and fear of being hurt most of the time.  Sometimes this comes from past experiences and other times it comes from the lack of experience in being truly loved. Also self-worth and doubt can be a big problem as well, but trust plays one of the biggest parts in love and happiness. One can not love someone and be loved and not trust, if there is no trust then love gets twisted into jealousy and possessiveness.

One problem is when someone trusts and loves another with all their heart and are betrayed they tend to get a very deep scar emotionally and mentally. This scar or wound is not easily healed and will tend to affect future relationships as well as any kind of reconciliation in the current relationship. Trust is not easily rebuilt after a betrayal of the heart.

Forgiveness is a key to healing, but it is not always easy to forgive when you’ve been emotionally devastated by the actions of someone you’ve loved and trusted.  We must realize though they betrayed us, they are only human and thus being are prone to be imperfect in action and thoughts. No relationship is perfect either, when you have two people who have been raised differently and had different life experiences trying to become a single  unit there is bound to be times of turbulence during the adjustment period of a newer relationship. Usually in time most differences are either remedied or put aside for the sake of the relationship.

Remember to not judge your partner too harshly, for you have faults just like they do. Compassion, understanding and forgiveness should always play a part in a relationship. Trust is the most important I believe and so is respect, respect for yourself and for your partner. No relationship is beyond repair, but there are some relationships that because of the hurt feelings , verbal and physical abuse that may be better off just letting go of and ending it than trying to save it.

Love is a very precious thing and so is the trust required to have a relationship. Think wisely before entering a relationship and work diligently to maintain and improve it. It takes some work and sometimes a long time to have a great relationship and other times you luck out and find a partner that’s like a soul mate. even those soul mate type relationships require maintenance and work to keep them going.

Life is a long journey that seems to be quickly traveled, so remember to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily and look for the silver lining in every moment you experience.

Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts on 7/4/2013


HPIM0064We walk through our life half blinded by what we perceive as reality and unaware of the beauty that life and this world has laid before us. Friendships, family and the relationships we have along with the bonds we make within our lifetime are to be cherished. We influence people we meet  directly by being a part of their lives and we can affect others through the footprints we leave. We can also influence one person  who can carry that influence to others. We can also write a blog and through it influence the thoughts of readers and other bloggers. We are far more intertwined as a species than we like to admit.

The words or actions of one can affect so many without even being the intention nor being realized by the person who initiated it all.  Once we realize how much our words and actions can affect and influence others we must face the fact we are responsible for the results brought about by them. We should always be conscious of our actions and words as well as the consequences they can bring. We also should be cautious and conscious of the actions and words of others so we can be in control of what influences us as well. We must not walk through life half blinded and half awake, we should be fully awake and aware of all that is around us. We should be aware of the responsibility of being alive and the consequences of our actions and words. We also should always cherish the life we have been given to live and know it is a blessing.

Be aware, Be Awake and take responsibility for your actions and words. Be thankful and cherish the one life we have to live.

Ray Barbier

Words of wisdom or wishful thoughts.


IMG_1326_edited-1To love is to live, to live is to experience Love. To fear is to miss out on love and life. To fear love is to deny yourself happiness, to fear rejection is to deny yourself personal growth and the chance to succeed. To fear what others think is to throw away your chance to be who you are truly meant to be. To be like everyone else or follow the crowd is to deny yourself individuality. To deny you are a part of the whole is to deny yourself the fellowship it can bring along with the strength it can give you. To think you are strong by your own is to set yourself p for a great fall. To think you are wise is only proof you are yet a fool. To recognize your lack of wisdom and accept your faults  is the first step in becoming wise. To think you have learned it all only will deny you the truth and answers you seek. To hold a grudge and not forgive only hurts you and does nothing to the one that you begrudge. To judge others harshly only sets you up to be judged in the same way.

Be humble, Be kind, Try not to judge and if you do, do it with compassion. Love one another unconditionally and learn to forgive others as well as your own self

Ray Barbier

Why is being right more important than doing the right thing?


IMG_1077Sometime we tend to be our own worst enemy, we get wrapped up in what we think we want and neglect what we truly need. This seems to be the dilemma of humanity.  We are social creatures for the most art but it seems we have become more focused on our individuality than the group, clan or community. We forgot how to care and be part of a community and to work together. It’s all about taking care of ourselves and our own instead of we are all a part of an extended family. It’s all good to be an individual and to express such, but not at the expense of  loosing our connection from the great family of humanity.

We allow politics, religion, race, culture and many other things get in the way of being the great creation God made us to be. We as a species are capable of doing such good and amazing things when we work together and put our differences aside. We are all basically the same, we all really want peace, love and happiness for ourselves, our family and especially for our children. Why cant that be enough of a motive for us to be civilized and mature enough to be at peace with one another and learn to work together to make this world a better place for everyone? Why is greed more important than your neighbor or the poor guy begging for his next meal? Why is being right more important than doing the right thing?

It is far better to be poor and have your next meal than to be rich and want for nothing, for without anything to aspire for there is little to enjoy. It is far more important to do the right thing than to worry about who is right or wrong. For doing the right thing is being in the right and worrying about who is right or not is such a waste of time and energy.

Raymond Barbier

Politeness and respectfulness is learned by example


DSCF0007Today I feel like talking about manners, politeness and having respect for one another. I remember when I was a child how my mother and father tried hard to instill in me the mannerisms such as showing respect to others and to be polite to everyone I meet and that I should be this way to those I know, don’t know, like or dislike. Seems politeness and respect are becoming either a thing of the past or is considered less important in our youth today.I think we were far better off when we had politeness and respect as a part of our upbringing. My parents were also the type that would try to practice what they preached, at least in front of us kids they did their best not to lose their tempers, speak ill of others or be disrespectful of anyone. This of course goes to say that they may have done such behind our backs but in general they stayed true to what they preached.

Politeness and respectfulness is learned by example, so most kids are usually imitating what they have seen at home and at school. This is why parents, educators and youth group leaders should practice politeness and respectfulness in front of the children.

Just some thoughts that passed through my mind today.

God Bless and peace to all.

Ray Barbier

All we do is lose the essence of who we are


rayraydRemember that child that saw the world as brand new and awesome,? Remember that child who had unbreakable faith and faced fear with conviction? Remember when you saw life as an adventure both in your imagination and day-to-day life? Remember when that child was forced to be hidden within you by society and your peers? Why does it have to be that we must put away the goodness of Ourselves in order to live in the world? Yes the bible speaks of putting away childish things, it was speaking of the immaturity of being a child and the naivety. The essence of who you are was formed during childhood and that part being a child we shouldn’t had left behind. We allow the stress, competition and rigidness of adult life to become more important than all our loves, friendships and even sometimes family. We keep who we are close to our vest and rarely show others who we truly are. We do such in hopes of protecting ourselves but in the end all we do is lose the essence of who we are.

We should be who we truly are and not hide the wondrous person god had made us to be. We may be ever-changing but there is a core of our personality we always have and should embrace. That silly, playful and all loving child within is the person God had meant us to be. That child that has no hate, anger or jealousy beyond a fleeting moment, that child that loves everyone and forgives quicker than he can be hurt. That child who looks for the goodness is everyone he meets. It takes a brave person to be and show their true self and that inner child.

Do not let the world and its cold rigidness hold back the warm and loving nature God has made within you. For its better to be a child of God than a person of the world.

Ray Barbier

Take a few moments out of each day


IMG_1387Take a few moments out of each day to tell those you love how you feel about them, let them know how special and important they are. Take a moment or two each day to be kind to friends and even strangers, be an example for others to follow and be a person you can be proud to be. Find happiness in the joy of others and help bring joy into all whom you meet along the way. When you begin to think negatively just think no over and over till the negative thought subsides and/or try to think or a more positive thought to take its place. Don’t complain about what is wrong, learn how to fix it or at least how to avoid it. Sometimes there are things you can not change, you do not have to accept them, you just have to learn to work around them.

Don’t be afraid to be yourself and embrace that silly child still within you. Do not become cynical and bitter for it will only put a wall between you and happiness.  Do not worry about grey hairs and wrinkles, they are part of aging. We are all unique in how we look, act, think and perceive this world.  To one you may look old, to another you may look young and you are good-looking to some and not to others. It is all superficial and really unimportant in the end. It is who you are inside and how you interact with this world along with how you treat others that counts. Plus to God all of us are beautiful and he loves us all for who and what we are. We should look at each other in that same way, love one another as is and know we are all beautiful and loved.

Inspire others to be kind, accepting and compassionate, teach others to love themselves and others unconditionally. Encourage others to be themselves and not just a carbon copy of the so-called popular or in crowd.

Ray Barbier

Live each day as if it was your first day and your last


024 We only have a short time to experience, enjoy and live our life. Some of us have longer some have shorter but in the grand scheme of things all our lifetimes are but a drop in an endless sea of time. This is why we shouldn’t hold on to negative emotions and thoughts for any length of time because they are usually a waste of energy and cause more harm to ourselves than it does to anyone else. We should cherish each moment we have, be thankful for each day we are blessed to wake and see. We should help one another and be kind, for if we all did such this world would be a much happier place to live in. We all want happiness and we all want happiness for our family and friends. Even though our vision of what happiness may vary in the end it’s all about living in peace and harmony with each other. Kind thoughts, words and actions are the key to happiness for both you and those you interact with. Sure there are some people for one reason or another choose to be bitter, unresponsive to kindness or love. But that shouldn’t sway you from the path of kindness, peace and love.

Live each day as if it was your first day and your last, See the world as a child and cherish is like a person who would die tomorrow. Look at everything in wonder like it’s the first time you’ve seen it. Watch the sunrise and enjoy it like you did as a young child. Embrace life and accept one another as is. For none of us truly knows when our day will come to meet our end. So many family members and friends I have had have already left this world. And so much was unsaid and undone.

Live each day as both the child and the elderly, keep wonder in your heart and be thankful as well as cherish each morning.

Ray Barbier

Thank you for being a part of my life


006To all my readers, friends, family and extended family, I pray that you have a merry Christmas. I also pray that in the new year to come you find peace within yourself, love for all living things including yourself. May you be guided by the hand of god and may his love fill your heart and lives. Know that I love every single one of you and that I know I have been blessed to have all of you in my life. I know I may not always have expressed how much you meant to me in the past because like everyone else I allowed the madness of modern life to keep me from the people and things that matter most. Thank you for being a part of my life and may God bless you all.

I know many of you will never see or read this post but I know within my heart you will feel it within your heart.

Merry Christmas to All

Ray Barbier