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Family Personal Poems and Writings Random Thoughts Thought of the day

if there is no trust then love gets twisted


002Love and matters of the heart are complicated but yet simple. The complication comes from our doubts and fear of being hurt most of the time.  Sometimes this comes from past experiences and other times it comes from the lack of experience in being truly loved. Also self-worth and doubt can be a big problem as well, but trust plays one of the biggest parts in love and happiness. One can not love someone and be loved and not trust, if there is no trust then love gets twisted into jealousy and possessiveness.

One problem is when someone trusts and loves another with all their heart and are betrayed they tend to get a very deep scar emotionally and mentally. This scar or wound is not easily healed and will tend to affect future relationships as well as any kind of reconciliation in the current relationship. Trust is not easily rebuilt after a betrayal of the heart.

Forgiveness is a key to healing, but it is not always easy to forgive when you’ve been emotionally devastated by the actions of someone you’ve loved and trusted.  We must realize though they betrayed us, they are only human and thus being are prone to be imperfect in action and thoughts. No relationship is perfect either, when you have two people who have been raised differently and had different life experiences trying to become a single  unit there is bound to be times of turbulence during the adjustment period of a newer relationship. Usually in time most differences are either remedied or put aside for the sake of the relationship.

Remember to not judge your partner too harshly, for you have faults just like they do. Compassion, understanding and forgiveness should always play a part in a relationship. Trust is the most important I believe and so is respect, respect for yourself and for your partner. No relationship is beyond repair, but there are some relationships that because of the hurt feelings , verbal and physical abuse that may be better off just letting go of and ending it than trying to save it.

Love is a very precious thing and so is the trust required to have a relationship. Think wisely before entering a relationship and work diligently to maintain and improve it. It takes some work and sometimes a long time to have a great relationship and other times you luck out and find a partner that’s like a soul mate. even those soul mate type relationships require maintenance and work to keep them going.

Life is a long journey that seems to be quickly traveled, so remember to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily and look for the silver lining in every moment you experience.

Ray Barbier

Categories
Personal Poems and Writings Random Thoughts Thought of the day

Act in accordance with who you are and what you believe.


bnf0427Be true to yourself which basically means that you should act in accordance with who you are and what you believe. Stop trying to please everybody and definitely stop acting as  someone you’re not. There is nothing wrong with who and what you are or how you act, think and co-exist. Peer pressure has no power over someone who sees that they are wonderful as they are and that if someone don’t like you as you are then let them move on. To be popular by trying to be like everyone else is an act of betrayal to who you really are within. In my youth I fell to peer pressure trying to look cool or at least fit in somewhat and all I got out of it is the bad habit of smoking cigarettes and a lot of wasted youth. The sad part for a good part of my life I kept trying to fit in, be a part of the norm and it never really worked because I never was being sincere or being my true self  Shame it took me so many years before I saw the goodness in being myself and true to who I am.

PEOP0060 So my advice to the old and young is get over the fear of not fitting in or not being accepted. Be true to who you truly are and let the light God planted in you shine. Think your own thoughts, don’t take the words of others as truth without confirming them and question anything that just isn’t right or seems way too good to be true. Love yourself for who and what God has made you to be and worry not of what others think of you. As long as you do what you feel is right and good then you have nothing to worry about and if others disapprove  then so be it.

Be true to thyself and be who you desire and deserve to be. Think for yourself and take responsibility for your own life.

Ray Barbier