Sadness hides deep within me and has been there since I was but a child. I have lived my life as a semi carefree person with a attitude that is mild. Many thing have happened to me throughout the years of my life. Some of them were fantastic and wondrous and some of them where things of strife. The body grows old but the spirit within me is yet that small child and it is still a little scared.What it is scared of is being alone and having a love that will never be truly shared.
Tears fell like rain as I cried into the pillow and I still am unsure of why I was crying. My life is not like I would like it to be and though I feel down I will keep on trying. Optimism mixed with realism keeps this soul moving forward on the path of learning. This path I started out on a long time ago and it is what keeps my fire burning. If it wasn’t for the friends and lovers along the way to learn from and teach I would not have made it this far. I found fuel for the fire even in those that were nothing but a one time meet in a coffee house or bar.
Maybe I shed tears for those things that didn’t come to be and for the things that may not be tomorrow. Maybe it is for the things I’ve done wrong and now I feel regret and sorrow. It may also be a cry for help to who will listen and help me move on down the path I have chose to follow. For it to mean nothing is one theory I find hard for me to swallow. Though I have rediscovered a few things about myself in the tears I cried. I have told myself allot of things that were true but to myself I also have lied.
Optimism is the way I prefer but realism is the way that seems to be the way of today. To learn that life isn’t fair is one lesson we all have to learn and accept as this worlds way. But this does not mean that I must follow that example and be callous or cold. I need to avoid such things but that gets harder as I grow old. Things undone and things that were not meant to be is part of the life cycle we are bound to. Things that will never be are things that are usually wrong or impossible for one to do. Some things are just better left unsaid and undone in this world we all live in. We sometimes have to be the loser in order for someone else to win.
“Though life isn’t always fair it always seems to keep everything in balance and order.” – R. Barbier