Category: Family

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Trust, The lack of and its effects on Relationships


bnf0429All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.

p10055 Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.

Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness

Ray Barbier

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it’s the quality of the family and friends you have


MP900442811Through ones lifetime we are born into a family, obtain friends and colleges and form a family of our own. The family we form on our own is composed of our life partner, our children and the close friends we have made and kept throughout our lives. Many times we tend to take all of them for granted, forget to show them appreciation, love and compassion. Our friends and Family are what gives us strength and what keeps us rooted when times are tough and when times are good. Without them we would be a solitary and lonely being which would find unhappiness as our daily companion. I have met many of people who claim they do not need family and / or friends in my life and usually either they do have one or the other and when they are unfortunate enough to not have either they become bitter, lonely, depressed and have a hard time dealing with this world and all of its realities. Of course there are the exceptions to the rule and I have met one or two who seem fine, but who knows what goes on in their minds.

dd43853 It isn’t the quantity of family members or friends that matters it’s the quality of the family and friends you have. I have noticed the better you treat them the better they become and the more they are a part of your life. So we should always try to be the best friend and family member we can and treat those that are our family and friends as the treasures they are to us. When you lose a good friend to death or to life’s circumstances you will notice a hole in your life, it may not be immediately but down the line you will. I have lost several to death so far and even those friends that were distant or that I haven’t seen  for a long time still are a part of who I am and a part of my heart.

Lately I have been gaining new friends both in the real world and on the internet through blogging and social networking. Both are just as real as the other and mean just as much as one another as well. The greatest treasures in my life are my family and my friends, even those friends who chose to forget me or to move on are still jewels in my treasure and will remain so till it is my final time to rest. So god bless my family, friends and all those in between.

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A helping hand or encouraging word


Compassion

You are good, you did good, you are going to be okay and everything will be all right. Words we all have longed to hear at one point or another in life. We need encouragement from others and we always need assurance that everything will be all right. We should always be messengers of hope, encouragement and builders of self-esteem. We are all in this life together and each of us has both strengths and weaknesses. We all need a helping hand or encouraging word or two from time to time to help us keep the faith and so we can carry on.  We need to walk through life being compassionate towards one another, we should help carry the load of our brothers and sisters. Smile at one another, speak good words about and to each other and help each other with the burdens of life.

We need to put our selfish side of our nature aside and embrace the side of love and fellowship. We can love one another without condition and we can easily learn to be as one big family on earth. Religion, political views, nationality, race, sex or any other differences we have can easily be put aside for the good of humanity as a whole. We are all humans after all, we all share a distant but common ancestry. We all are in this together and we should be wise enough to be at peace and be compassionate with one another. There is plenty of food and wealth to go around if we learn to be as one big family. What good is wealth or abundance of food if you are not sharing those blessings with others? What good is love if it is conditional or only shared with a select few?

We are capable of such greatness but unfortunately we seem to limit our own abilities. Sad but true but I still hold hope for humanity to one day grow enough spiritually  / emotionally to become the great species we are capable of being. If we are every to grow into such a species we have to start with being compassionate with each other and with our own selves. We still have a long way to go before we become the great species of humanity.

Be compassionate, smile at one another, love one another as brothers and sisters and be charitable and generous with all.

Ray Barbier

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It is what you do in-between that makes all the difference.


KIDS0043If I would have had a child of my own, I would try to teach him or her everything I could about the realities of this world. To prepare the child for the challenges of this modern and chaotic world we live in. What would I teach my child would be honesty, faith, hope and compassion for all living things. I would explain how it is okay not to have everything you want and that not everyone is going to like them or be their friend. Forgiveness is one thing I would push hard for my child to learn for to forgive others and yourself is to love unconditionally. To carry guilt beyond a week is unhealthy so forgive yourself for your mistakes. Mistakes are the way we learn how to and how not to live our life. I would teach my child how to love themselves as they are and to see the beauty they have within. I would try hard to teach them to love they way they look and not to be bothered by the opinions of others.

I would try to teach my child not to judge and to remember that they too are imperfect. No one is without sin or fault and that is a part of being a human. I would want them to understand that material possessions and wealth are just temporary means of happiness. That true happiness comes from within and no one can stop them from being happy unless they give that other person to do so. It is far better to tell the truth and face the consequences of your actions than to lie and face the consequences of the lie as well. Be true to yourself and be yourself regardless if others approve or not. For it is better to be who you really are than to live a lie of a life that makes you unhappy. Accept everyone for who and what they are for they are who they are and will only change when they decide to. Do not take any head to the differences of ones color, sex, religion, nationality or even their philosophy for they have the right to freewill. Love everyone and embrace the differences between each of us without judgment.

We are born as equals and we all die as equals so it is what you do in-between that makes all the difference. No man or woman is above or below one another for we are all the same in the end.  Speak kindly of others or say nothing of them at all for what you say can come back to haunt you. Think positive and act with compassion for how you live in your life is what defines who you are in the end. And last but not least that I would always love them no matter how they choose to live their life.

Teach your children how to be and how to live or someone else may teach them for you, and it may not be what you want them to learn.

Ray Barbier

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Change our focus back on God as well as the family.


There are so many unhappy, lonely and lost people out in the world. Some have the perfect mate, job or financial situation but still they are searching for something or someone. They get caught up in the illusion something external is going to make the happy or fill the emptiness inside. The only one who can make you happy or fill that void within besides yourself is God. You have to make the choice to be happy before you can find happiness, you must choose to love yourself before anyone else can love you. You must accept the love of God and start a personal relationship with him before the void will be filled.  You can have the perfect husband or wife and still feel the loneliness and the emptiness of the void within. It isn’t that your mate isn’t the right one, It more than likely the lack of a personal relationship with God. Even people who go to church every Sabbath and read the bible each day can still need to have a personal relationship with God.

God will help those who help themselves basically says that you have to make the first move in faith and God will be right beside you helping you along the way. In this modern world we focus too much on how much money we can make, what kind of clothes, gadgets and toys we can buy for ourselves and our children. We lost the closeness of family and we need to change our focus back on God as well as the family. The stress of keeping up with the Joneses or the Smiths keeps us so distracted from God and the family. We must remember we should live our lives for God first then the family and lastly for ourselves.  When we put other things and people before God we cease to worship god and begin worshiping materialism and the self. God wants us to be happy and have things but he wants us to do so in his honor and for his glory not our own.  This is where the emptiness comes from, when we tend to put other things before God, when we do that we close the door inside our hearts and minds to God’s love. That’s the pit, the emptiness, the lack of his love within us.

God, Family then the self.  The order in which things are needed to be done.
Ray Barbier

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We get so caught up in the whirlwind


"Where there is love there is life."  Stop, look around and see all the faces around you and embrace the love you have for them. Life is way too short to allow work to completely consume you and your life, we need to maintain balance or we wont survive long at such a heavy and fast pace. We must constantly remind ourselves of what is our true priority, the health and happiness of ourselves and those we hold dear. No money, company or idea is more important nor greater than those we love and the love we share with them. Even friends are an important part of the balance we keep. We need our friends to help keep us sane and give us an escape from work and home once in a while. Though getting and giving your spouse and children everything money can buy is nice but not at the price of never seeing them or the lack of spending quality time with them.

 

The love of friends and family is more precious than any amount of money or gold.
Ray Barbier

 
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We should just be the best person we can be


bnf0422We make our lives far more complicated than they really are, we seem to put too many conditions on every choice we make and action we take. Things are either black, grey or white there is very little else they can be, either it is for our good or for our dismay. We allow our ego to get in the way of the happiness of others and even our own happiness in the end. Selfishness serves no purpose other than to deceive you into believing that possessions and wealth can make you happy. Yes money makes it easier to live in this world, but money is not a source of true happiness or love. Money is but paper or metal and it usually causes more problems than it solves. We tend to be addicted to temporary and instant gratifications which are good at distracting us from the good things in life like friends, family, love and communal fellowship. We need to be less about self and more about family, friends and community.

bnf0421 We need to learn to put our ego’s back in their place and live life with unconditional love, trust, compassion, hope and most of all faith. We need to put away the fear we have been taught and embrace the spirit of hope so that we can truly live our lives. We can no longer go through each day just trying to survive, we must live each day in the fullest as if there is no tomorrow. We should show our appreciation to those in our lives that we love and hold dear. We should be considerate, kind and compassionate to all those we meet, for none of us are perfect or without fault. We shouldn’t worry about what we don’t have for possessions are only temporary. We shouldn’t worry about who does or don’t like us for that is something we can not control in the end. We should just be the best person we can be and cherish those that we are blessed to have as friends and family.

The first step in changing one’s life is to change the way you look at life itself.
Raymond Barbier

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Cherish each day and enjoy each moment with those you love


CB100292 With several friends of mine getting sick and/or hospitalized lately I have reflected on life and how we seem to take it and those we care about for granted. Times like these makes me remember how blessed I am and have been with the few friends I have and kept through out my life. Life is a precious thing that most of us don’t cherish as much as we should. We allow too many things out of our daily routine and stresses to sidetrack us from the things in life that are important to us. Sometimes we even put entertainments such as television and the internet come between us and our family and/or friends. To be honest it has been a long time since I sat at a table with love ones for dinner other than for holidays and eating out once and a blue moon. There is nothing wrong with having time for yourself but I think sometimes we forget we need to have together time with those we love.

MP900442811We need to turn off the computer and the television from time to time and take out a board game or go  outside with the family for some together fun time. Not only is time with the family fun and helps form  a stronger bond between its members it is quite therapeutic in the sense it enhances ones mood towards  the positive. Then there is the good old compromise of watching a movie together or going out for dinner  with each other. It also is almost as important to spend time out with friends to give you a change of  atmosphere as well as a place and time to vent or blow off steam. What ever way you choose to spend more  time with family and friends is beneficial to everyone involved.

Cherish each day and enjoy each moment with those you love
Raymond Barbier

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A Fork in the Road


Concept Lately the cycle of life has really sped  up around me, so many pregnancies and people either dying or getting life threatening diseases. This world is speeding up and we are heading towards a fork in the path we are going down. One of the paths ahead is to a dismal and foreboding future of selfishness, greed and eventual depletion of natural resources. The other path though will be rocky and hard to follow leads us as a species to a future of peace, equality and the saving of our wonderful planet and home called earth. We can not continue to walk through life with a selfish and/or apathetic heart, we have to become humble, compassionate and take care of this world we live in. We are all on this rock together and not one race, religion,country or individual has any more or less rights to live here. We are all equal and are equally responsible for our home and the life forms that live within it.

MP900408941 Some of the rich and powerful believe they are superior or at least deserve a better life than the average and impoverished man. This is just plain selfish and heartless thinking and not true, it isn’t about wealth, power or even physical prowess but it is about the spirit and the heart. The common and impoverished are not as naïve or  as uninformed as the rich and powerful believe. We are waking up and seeing that we are not being treated equal in taxation and not being represented equally in our governments. Eventually the meek shall awaken out of their groggy state of mind and will help bring some of the change needed. Sometimes I see big business as a kind of bully, they raise prices to gain huge profits with no concern about if the average person can or can not afford it.  Nothing matters but the profit margin and the bonuses they get each year. They fill their banks with money that was earned by underpaid worker’s in both their home country and 3rd world countries .  I understand the need for profits, but to be too greedy and have no care about the workers or the consumers who helped build that wealth is just not a good business model. Eventual things will become so costly that only the rich will be able to afford to buy anything beyond just food. And since the rich are just a small percentage of the whole consumer base there will be a lot of businesses failing.

Human eye with the recycling emblem inside<br /><br />File contains gradientsThough not all of the current financial crises is the fault of big business a lot of it falls on the consumer as well by using credit to purchase items they can’t really afford to have as well as buying luxury items that they could have lived without. Then the credit card companies also have their part in the mess as well as the mortgage lenders. There is many reasons why our world is in such a financial mess and the blame falls all across the board. The solution will also have to come from each level of the financial pyramid in order to fix it all. Greed and Envy seem to be the root of most of the mess, the businesses want more money and the consumer wants to keep up with the people next door.

We better change direction and choose the better path in the fork ahead, if we don’t our children, grandchildren and the generations afterwards will be living in a very dark future. We need to take care of the imbalance of wealth and start taking care of our home.

Just a rant of a middle-aged man.

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Raymond Barbier

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Keeping faith, Update on Trish’s Cancer… zenker’s diverticulum not cancer (good News)


Trish update: not cancer it is zenker’s diverticulum (a small hernia like pocket in the muscular wall of the esophagus by the larynx fixable by a few stitches) So A grand blessing. I want to thank every one for their prayers and good thoughts / support. 🙂

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