Tag: Family

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Another Year has come to an end


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Another Year has come to an end, many things may have come to pass within this year, some were great others were not so good. But the good news is we made it through another year through this hectic and semi-chaotic world of ours. Now people will make new years resolutions they will try hard to keep and probably wont. The best way to make this new year a better one is to choose to make a change within yourself. Choose to be kinder, happier, friendlier and to forgive as well as to try to be understanding towards one another. Changing the core of who you are and how you view and interact with the world around you is the key to making changes elsewhere in your life.

We here at Transient Reflections / One lifetime Blog and Barbier Family Blog want to wish all of you a Happy, Productive new year full of personal growth and happiness.

Happy New Years!!!!!!

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The reason for the season


p10121The holiday season is upon us and the sale ads are pouring out like a tropical storm. Time to go spend your hard-earned cash on Thanksgiving diner and Christmas presents. Just remember through out all of the spending frenzy and the sales the reason for the season. Thanksgiving is the day to give thanks for another year of survival and for the blessing of having food upon your table. Christmas of course is the celebrated day of our savior’s birth and the salvation he brought us all. Don’t get caught up in all the commercialization of the holidays and remember to focus on the family more than on the gifts you are going to give and receive.

May God bless your Holiday Season and Remember to Give thanks every day for the blessings in our life.

Happy Holidays

Ray Barbier

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Just some reflections on a Friday


May29^02Remembering those who have went home to god before us is natural and expected for we feel the loss of someone who was a big part of our lives. We shouldn’t remember them in sadness, we should remember them in happiness and with thankfulness that they were a part of our life for so long and we were blessed to have known them and loved them as well. Sure we feel like there is a big hole in our life now that they have passed on to the other side, but they still exist in our memories and in our selves because each person influences another and we all become a part of each other mentally and emotionally. They live within our memories and within our hearts, my dad may he rest in peace still is there to give advice and guide me through my memories of who and what he was. His influence upon my life still exists in me and it is a part of his legacy that lives on. I see my dad in my brother and my nephew as well, the influence he had on them shows in their mentality and even some of their actions. I see so much of my dad in myself as well, this is why I no longer mourn for my loss of my dad, he may not be here in physical form but he never left me in my mind and heart.

Just some reflections on a Friday

Ray Barbier

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My dad taught me one last lesson


scan0002 The loss of a love one is always a hard thing for someone to cope with, no matter how close or estranged your relationship you had with the deceased you still had love as a bond between you. It has been almost 6 years since my dad passed away, even though the pain isn’t as severe within my heart it’s just as deep as it ever was. I thin about my dad often, funny though I don’t seem to think about his shortcomings, I think more about the times I spent with him as a child, teen and young adult years. I don’t care to remember the bad times because they don’t matter as much as the good times I had with him. I can remember his silly laugh and his kind heart he had. Unfortunately we did grow somewhat apart before his death, between me living my own life and my stupidity of holding on to mistakes both of us made in my early years and also my mom and him divorcing. I regret  I let such pet things stand in the way of my love for my dad, but in the end we did find peace between us and the last image I have of him was him with a childlike smile telling me good night.

Seems we never realize how silly or stupid we are about stuff until we loose a loved one and look back to see how much time was wasted on petty emotions such as anger and bitterness. It did teach me a lot losing my dad but it also cost me a lot in many ways as well. After 5+ years I have come close to being back to normal with a few omissions by choice and a few scars to remind me of my mistakes. My dad taught me one last lesson through his passing away, he taught me never to take anyone you love for granted for you never know when their number or even yours will come up.

Thank you Dad (Stephen M. Barbier) for everything you did for me, how hard you worked for us all. And may you Rest in peace knowing we all love and remember you as the good-hearted man you truly were.

Ray Barbier

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it’s the quality of the family and friends you have


MP900442811Through ones lifetime we are born into a family, obtain friends and colleges and form a family of our own. The family we form on our own is composed of our life partner, our children and the close friends we have made and kept throughout our lives. Many times we tend to take all of them for granted, forget to show them appreciation, love and compassion. Our friends and Family are what gives us strength and what keeps us rooted when times are tough and when times are good. Without them we would be a solitary and lonely being which would find unhappiness as our daily companion. I have met many of people who claim they do not need family and / or friends in my life and usually either they do have one or the other and when they are unfortunate enough to not have either they become bitter, lonely, depressed and have a hard time dealing with this world and all of its realities. Of course there are the exceptions to the rule and I have met one or two who seem fine, but who knows what goes on in their minds.

dd43853 It isn’t the quantity of family members or friends that matters it’s the quality of the family and friends you have. I have noticed the better you treat them the better they become and the more they are a part of your life. So we should always try to be the best friend and family member we can and treat those that are our family and friends as the treasures they are to us. When you lose a good friend to death or to life’s circumstances you will notice a hole in your life, it may not be immediately but down the line you will. I have lost several to death so far and even those friends that were distant or that I haven’t seen  for a long time still are a part of who I am and a part of my heart.

Lately I have been gaining new friends both in the real world and on the internet through blogging and social networking. Both are just as real as the other and mean just as much as one another as well. The greatest treasures in my life are my family and my friends, even those friends who chose to forget me or to move on are still jewels in my treasure and will remain so till it is my final time to rest. So god bless my family, friends and all those in between.

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Change our focus back on God as well as the family.


There are so many unhappy, lonely and lost people out in the world. Some have the perfect mate, job or financial situation but still they are searching for something or someone. They get caught up in the illusion something external is going to make the happy or fill the emptiness inside. The only one who can make you happy or fill that void within besides yourself is God. You have to make the choice to be happy before you can find happiness, you must choose to love yourself before anyone else can love you. You must accept the love of God and start a personal relationship with him before the void will be filled.  You can have the perfect husband or wife and still feel the loneliness and the emptiness of the void within. It isn’t that your mate isn’t the right one, It more than likely the lack of a personal relationship with God. Even people who go to church every Sabbath and read the bible each day can still need to have a personal relationship with God.

God will help those who help themselves basically says that you have to make the first move in faith and God will be right beside you helping you along the way. In this modern world we focus too much on how much money we can make, what kind of clothes, gadgets and toys we can buy for ourselves and our children. We lost the closeness of family and we need to change our focus back on God as well as the family. The stress of keeping up with the Joneses or the Smiths keeps us so distracted from God and the family. We must remember we should live our lives for God first then the family and lastly for ourselves.  When we put other things and people before God we cease to worship god and begin worshiping materialism and the self. God wants us to be happy and have things but he wants us to do so in his honor and for his glory not our own.  This is where the emptiness comes from, when we tend to put other things before God, when we do that we close the door inside our hearts and minds to God’s love. That’s the pit, the emptiness, the lack of his love within us.

God, Family then the self.  The order in which things are needed to be done.
Ray Barbier

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Still the same person deep inside


rayraydI remember as a child I would befriend anyone at a drop of a hat, I didn’t care about your religious beliefs, color of your skin, nationality or if you were the same or very different from me. When I was a child all the prejudices and complications of having different religious beliefs were not a concern to me in any way. I accepted everyone as is and if you didn’t like me or were cruel to me I just would avoid you until you were friendly and nice to me. Forgiving others for me as a child was second nature and accepting others as they were was my first nature. Now that I am older I still pretty much follow the same philosophies as when I was young, the only difference is I have to fight all the influences of the world as I do. Seems when we grow up we start making a simple process much more complicated for reasons that yet elude me.

I believe a lot of the problem with us when we grow up is we begin embracing the fear we shrugged off as children. Instead of letting go of fear and embracing compassion and understanding we embrace fear. The fear we faced as children was easily shrugged off because we had faith in our family, friends, other human beings and in a higher power. As we grow older we lose faith in one or not all of those things or at least our faith is weakened considerably as we grow older. I looked at everyone and everything as a part of my world and a part of a large family as a child. No one was a stranger and if you were a stranger it wasn’t for long. Some say that was naïveté and ignorance to the dangers of the world, I say it was faith in my fellow humans, compassion and understanding at work.

003The only times I was mad at others as a child is when I believed someone was being treated unkindly or unfair. I didn’t seem to like people taking advantage of each other, bullying each other or causing some kind of pain to others. But even though I would get mad and if I could stand up for the oppressed I quickly forgave the person or persons doing the wrong. Seems I lived in the now and let the past go easier back then. It is amazing how much we can learn from our youth both from the good things and the mistakes we had made. Though I know its impossible to be a child again and think exactly like I did, I can try to embrace the better qualities I lost during my years of life. I can revisit the memories of who I was and re awaken the child within me. Though I have grown up I am still the same person deep inside, I can shed the fear and the need for complication within my life.

Who I was as a child is the core of who I am now. It is that core which I must embrace and it is fear and the complication complex I must shed.
Ray Barbier

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I am worth no more or less than any other


eye Sometimes I find I am way to sensitive and get hurt too easy, it is because how much I care about others and some of it is my desire to be accepted. Though I have come a long way in the insecurity department, I don’t rely on other people’s opinions about me or if they accept me or not as much as I used to. A lot of the reason I don’t get bothered by it as much is I have learned to accept myself as is and realize my family, friends and love of my life are the only ones that matter in the end. Not everyone will like me or accept me, but those that do I will cherish and embrace as a part of my extended family. Self confidence and self-worth have been issues I have dealt with since my teen years. Now 44 I am finally getting a grip on reality and the truth of it all. I walk in faith now instead of fear and know God accepts me and loves me and so do those I love.

I am worth no more or less than any other and I am as confident as I need to be. I can do what I need and want and that is all that matters to me now.

God’s love heals, builds character and inspires all.
Ray Barbier

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Cherish each day and enjoy each moment with those you love


CB100292 With several friends of mine getting sick and/or hospitalized lately I have reflected on life and how we seem to take it and those we care about for granted. Times like these makes me remember how blessed I am and have been with the few friends I have and kept through out my life. Life is a precious thing that most of us don’t cherish as much as we should. We allow too many things out of our daily routine and stresses to sidetrack us from the things in life that are important to us. Sometimes we even put entertainments such as television and the internet come between us and our family and/or friends. To be honest it has been a long time since I sat at a table with love ones for dinner other than for holidays and eating out once and a blue moon. There is nothing wrong with having time for yourself but I think sometimes we forget we need to have together time with those we love.

MP900442811We need to turn off the computer and the television from time to time and take out a board game or go  outside with the family for some together fun time. Not only is time with the family fun and helps form  a stronger bond between its members it is quite therapeutic in the sense it enhances ones mood towards  the positive. Then there is the good old compromise of watching a movie together or going out for dinner  with each other. It also is almost as important to spend time out with friends to give you a change of  atmosphere as well as a place and time to vent or blow off steam. What ever way you choose to spend more  time with family and friends is beneficial to everyone involved.

Cherish each day and enjoy each moment with those you love
Raymond Barbier

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It all could be gone within a tick of the clock.


65242 How easily we take those we love for granted, so quickly they can be taken away from us. We should cherish all our family and friends for no one knows when their last day may come. Leave no wrong undone, apologize and repent for the wrong you’ve done others and leave no love forgotten. Live each day as it may be your last and be sure to keep it where you will have no regretful things left behind when its time to go.Forgive those who have done you wrong so you do not carry any anger or hatred with you beyond the grave. Judge no one, but if you must judge them with great mercy for you will be judge in the same way in the end.

Life is way too short to carry grudges or hold on to the emotional scars of the past. Forgive and you shall be forgiven, love and you shall be loved and be compassionate and you will receive compassion. You get what you give in the end, it may not always seem so but it is true. I have found compassion from those I believed to be enemies and help from those who I thought didn’t care. Between all the negativity of this world you will receive that which you have given to others. Teach your children well, show them that mercy, kindness and compassion are greater than being popular or the biggest bully. Teach them to appreciate what they have both in possessions and in friendships. Too many times we run off the friends who would do anything for us because of something petty or a mistake made by one side or the other. Too many times families fall apart over differences of opinions and different view points. I find it quite sad when family members despise one another, families are supposed to love one another unconditionally.

Don’t take your family, friends or the day you are in for granted, it all could be gone within a tick of the clock.

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