The loss of a love one is always a hard thing for someone to cope with, no matter how close or estranged your relationship you had with the deceased you still had love as a bond between you. It has been almost 6 years since my dad passed away, even though the pain isn’t as severe within my heart it’s just as deep as it ever was. I thin about my dad often, funny though I don’t seem to think about his shortcomings, I think more about the times I spent with him as a child, teen and young adult years. I don’t care to remember the bad times because they don’t matter as much as the good times I had with him. I can remember his silly laugh and his kind heart he had. Unfortunately we did grow somewhat apart before his death, between me living my own life and my stupidity of holding on to mistakes both of us made in my early years and also my mom and him divorcing. I regret  I let such pet things stand in the way of my love for my dad, but in the end we did find peace between us and the last image I have of him was him with a childlike smile telling me good night.

Seems we never realize how silly or stupid we are about stuff until we loose a loved one and look back to see how much time was wasted on petty emotions such as anger and bitterness. It did teach me a lot losing my dad but it also cost me a lot in many ways as well. After 5+ years I have come close to being back to normal with a few omissions by choice and a few scars to remind me of my mistakes. My dad taught me one last lesson through his passing away, he taught me never to take anyone you love for granted for you never know when their number or even yours will come up.

Thank you Dad (Stephen M. Barbier) for everything you did for me, how hard you worked for us all. And may you Rest in peace knowing we all love and remember you as the good-hearted man you truly were.

Ray Barbier

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