Tag: Health

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Send positivity back to the source


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Negativity, something we all must face from sources both inward and externally. How does one deal with negativity? I know of only three ways of dealing with negativity either you absorb it , avoid it or try to convert it to positivity. Absorbing it or internalizing it causes too much stress on one’s body and mind, avoiding it which is my first choice usually is a very hard thing to do. Converting it is  to temporarily absorb it and to convert it into positivity in the hopes of returning the positivity to the one who sent the negativity. The third choice is not easy to master and takes quite a bit of effort but in the end is the best choice. Not only do you rid yourself of the negativity but you send positivity back to the source which will dilute the negativity remaining in it.  Also I notice if you are very positive minded and charged it seems to repel a lot of negativity and usually attracts more positive people. There of course is always a few negative people who charge straight at the positive, they seem to find some kind of enjoyment out of causing others to suffer along with them. I guess the old saying is true “Suffering Loves Company”…

I am but a student of life and am still in search of better ways to face the problems of modern life as well as the human dilemma. I share what I find and hope to learn more as I go and grow. I never claim I know the only answer or even the right answer, I just relay what I have found to work and so far has proven to be true. For I am only a fool seeking to be a sage who looks for fellow travelers along the way.

 

Peace and Love to all

Raymond Barbier

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an invitation to be kind or to smile


p10328 To be true to yourself, to be who you are and be happy with yourself and to realize that what others think matter very little in the long run. That is one of the paths to self-assurance and a healthier self-image, a self-esteem built upon the real you not the reflection of you off of others. One of the hardest thing to quit or correct is ones tendency to rely on others for both our self-worth and our happiness. No one can add or remove either your worth or happiness besides your own self. The illusion someone else can make you happier or make you a better person is one most of us fall for. The truth is that you make yourself happier and a better person and the other person is either an inspiration or a guiding force towards both. Yes they can help fuel the happiness within you and help you find the better person within you through their guidance or just their kindness, but the choices to be happy or to improve yourself is solely yours and requires your effort alone to bring them about.

A child’s smile can knock on the door of your kindness and then you can open the door in return. The child’s smile was an invitation to be kind or to smile you have to choose to comply or not. The choices of who and what you are and can become are yours as well as the power to make the changes.  The only time an outside force can change you and your life is if you give it the power to do so.  So be true to yourself and be who you are as well as love who you are. Do not let the negativity of others affect you or damage your self-worth. For in Gods eyes we all are precious and he loves all of us equally. And no man can take away the gifts God has given and has promised to us all. Besides our own will and choices Only God’s will can directly change us into a better person and bring us happiness.  Let God’s love and kindness flow through you and seek out his will and the path he set out before you. Try and surrender to his will as well as put aside your own.

God Bless

Raymond Barbier

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Beyond the trap of following the social ideals


newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?

 

 

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

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Change, acceptance and fear


003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

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Fear, The Enemy of Success and of Happiness.


tpl_7_ppl  Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.

The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

  In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.

 

Just some random thoughts on fear

Raymond Barbier

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Not even happiness can exist indefinitely


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Emotions, friend or foe to the modem man? Both, for without emotions we would be nothing but uninspired automatons. Each emotion serves a purpose and some emotions serve several functions. Fear is meant to protect our physical body by directing us away from things that endanger our well-being. Anger serves as a protector emotion by putting us in fight mode when there is either no escape or we feel secure enough to fight. Happiness is an emotion that inspires us to be creative and social so we can grow culturally as well as socially. Sadness keeps us rooted in reality, it reminds us that loss is a part of life as well as the constant reminder of our mortality. Even jealousy can serve a good purpose, for it shows that we cherish our mate when it is over a person and inspires us to work harder so we can better our life when it is jealousy over possessions. Each one of these emotions can either serve us in a positive or negative fashion and which way it does is based on our ability to control them.

Since emotions are a necessary part of our physical experience they should never be shut off or suppressed. The negative aspects of our emotions will exist and even though we can not turn them off we can learn to make them short-lived as well as temper their impact on both ourselves and others. They must be expressed and allowed to come to fruition but they can be channeled into a less destructive way of expression. Surprising them are an unhealthy way to control them and causes a lot of physical side effects that can create an unhealthy body. This is one of the most common ways people get high stress levels, and that in turn creates health problems such as high blood pressure and mental problems such as depression and even nervous breakdowns in the long run. One way to express the negative emotions with little impact on others is to write a journal or log and express them through writing. This gives them an outlet but restricts the negative effects. Express them and then let them go, for no emotion is meant to be permanent. Not even happiness can exist indefinitely, though it would be nice to be in permanent euphoria but it would be unproductive and probably would be troublesome down the line.

Seize the moment, Leave the past and hope for the future.
Raymond Barbier

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We dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape.


003 I see the emptiness in the eyes of others, they endlessly try to fill it with material goods and through pharmaceuticals. Unfortunately these are only temporary distractions from the emptiness they feel. The lack of meaning in their life and the absence of self-worth makes the empty feeling in them harder to overcome. What exactly is that emptiness or what causes it could be something as simple as low self-esteem or depression. It also could be the lack of spiritual fulfillment as well as not being accepted by their peers. It seems quite apparent that humans as a species require some sort of community and to be accepted in some sort of social group. We tend to be a very social species and we thrive on being  a part of such a group as well as being loved.

Sometimes we tend to create a false image of ourselves within and can not see the real person we are. We deceive ourselves into believing such negative things that we dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape. The hardest part is coming to the realization that we are not as bad off as we believe. It’s so easy to fall in to the pit but it is very hard to climb our way out. It is one of things that it probably took you many years to create such a negative self-image and it will take some time to teach yourself to have a more positive image. There are many methods of building self-confidence as well as improving your self-image such as attending religious meetings, meditation, exercise and even writing poetry or a journal.

Every day is but one more step in your personal journey through life and each step leads you forward in your self discovery.  If you search within to find out who you really are you may just find that you are far better person than you once believed. For we seem to be a far stricter judge upon ourselves as well as or actions than we are on others. We have to look at ourselves like we look at friends and family. Judge ourselves with compassion like we do those we love and care about, knowing no one is perfect and to expect perfection from ourselves or others is just plain illogical to say the least. To remember your past mistakes is wise but to punish yourself over them is foolish. We paid the price for the mistakes shortly after we committed them and guilt shouldn’t last beyond a few day to a week. Forgiving ourselves and others seems to be one of the hardest things to do., but it is a necessary part of our life.

Well enough of my Psycho-babble Nonsense.
Peace and Love to All
Raymond Barbier

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Come up with some real proven facts.


Most meats such as chicken contain all the ess...Ok here we go again with another flip-flop on the health news front. Now they are claiming that salt is now good for you and that being fat is also good. The once believed fact that cholesterol in food elevates your serum cholesterol in your bloodstream is now been revised to say it is not the cholesterol it is only the fat. Well at least so far they have not wavered on the saturated fat issue as of yet. I really wish they would get their theories behind them and come up with some real proven facts. This zigzag technique of informing the public has caused more worry and harm than good in the long run. I am beginning to think they best policy is to just eat a well-balanced diet and keep active and pay less to what you eat but how much of it you consume.

I also am convinced it’s the quality of the food we consume now days. It seems the nutritional value of most foods bought in supermarkets have lower nutritional values than what our grandparents had back in their day. Plus we have so many chemicals added to food along with the food being processed to death before we even cook it. And we can not forget all the pesticides and herbicides that are used in farming now days along with how much food contamination is happening lately. Food safety and quality should be one of our biggest concerns along with water quality. We are what we eat and if we eat junk we get bodies that run like junk. All in the name of progress and cheaper production costs. The food quality crisis also heavily influences our healthcare problems.

Hopefully they will get real accurate facts about what food is or isn’t or bad for you to eat as well as finding the best way to raise the food quality and safety. Until they do, they should keep the theories and unproven facts to themselves to avoid confusion as well as unnecessary stress on the public.

Well that’s my thoughts on the matter.
Peace to all
Raymond Barbier

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We can not allow fear to be what leads us into the future.


003  Fear controls this world, fear of recession, fear of war, fear of famine, fear of Armageddon and fear of the unknown. Too much fear is pushed via the news and by even the politicians. We can not allow fear to be what leads us into the future or let it be what rules us in the present. For fear clouds our ability to make decisions and keeps us from fulfilling our potential both as individuals and a species. As a Politician once said there is nothing to fear but fear itself and I believe fear is a tool that many people in power use to try to control the populace. We must face the fear and put it in its place before it devours us and creates a world that is chaotic.

Fear has started many of wars, it has created mass hysteria such as the War of The Worlds episode done by Orson Wells. Fear is even a greater enemy to mankind than anger and or greed. Fear can destroy just one person as well as a whole society of it goes unchecked. The shame is most fear is created by either misinformation or the lack of understanding. Even though our modern society has become desensitized to many things both good and bad we still seem so ready to embrace fear. Though fear has its place it is seems to be running wildly through the world. Look how easy the stock market is effected by negative outlooks and reports.

This is not the time for fear but the time for hope and for coming up with solutions. We just need to learn to either control our fear or to put it behind us for the good of mankind. Fear is the enemy of progress and the stumbling block of humanity.

 

Well that’s my 2 cents worth.
Though I could be either wrong or right, I have no fear in expressing my thoughts.

Raymond Barbier

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Just some babbling about the self and happiness


014 I often have wondered what is the secret to a happy life and for the most part the answers seemed to change with each situation I experienced during the course of my life. So needles to say the answers I thought were correct were just reflections or shadows of the true secret. The real question is if there is a secret to living a happy life or not. Obviously no one can be happy 100% of the time and I am not even sure that only one secret or answer could be found to the question.  The main thing I have learned is one must let go of the prioritization of the self and its desires. The self is the most time and resource consuming part of being a sentient being. Since the self must exist in order for one to be self aware / sentient then we must learn to restrain its ever present demanding voice.

The tendency for humans to be selfish and self centered is basically a natural part of our psyche and though it can not be totally avoided it can be muffled or muted. Therefore Discipline of the mind is also one of the secrets of a happy life, for without mental discipline the self would become center of all and selfishness would be the main controlling factor in our daily lives. To sustain the self and to take care of its needs is something we must do, but to fulfill its wants and desires is something we can all together control or avoid. The self  usually is like a little child who is spoiled and gets all he or she wants with no restriction. In a disciplined mind the self learns that not all it wants will be fulfilled and that there is higher priorities that must be focused on.

Having concern for the welfare of others seems to be somewhat instinctual to most humans though I have noticed a few people who seem to have no concern for others. This is probably because they allow the self to take high priority to the point of selfishness and become apathetic to the concerns of things that are not of any benefit to themselves. For most of us though the welfare of others usually plays at least a small part in our lives if not a major one. Being social creatures that seem to group up to survive and thrive makes the welfare of others a necessity in maintaining the group.

Maybe a lot of the problem in modern society is that not everyone has a social place, there is a lot of people who are just transient social outcasts. People that are either not accepted by the social circles of modern society or who never could find where they belong. Without purpose socially they seem to either become a social ostrich or turtle by hiding their head in the sand and or retracting into their protective shell. This makes them feel unwanted or unneeded so they float from one social circle to the other having no purpose or destination.

So I guess the secret to happiness is to find your place in society and be needed as well as being satisfied with what blessing you have. To care for others and put the self second to the more important things of life. Maybe there really isn’t no real secret or just one formula to happiness, maybe the secret is to find your own path to walk.

Well enough of my truly random thoughts and babbling

Peace

Raymond Barbier

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