Tag Archives: Random Thoughts

Random Ideals and Opinions

if there is no trust then love gets twisted


002Love and matters of the heart are complicated but yet simple. The complication comes from our doubts and fear of being hurt most of the time.  Sometimes this comes from past experiences and other times it comes from the lack of experience in being truly loved. Also self-worth and doubt can be a big problem as well, but trust plays one of the biggest parts in love and happiness. One can not love someone and be loved and not trust, if there is no trust then love gets twisted into jealousy and possessiveness.

One problem is when someone trusts and loves another with all their heart and are betrayed they tend to get a very deep scar emotionally and mentally. This scar or wound is not easily healed and will tend to affect future relationships as well as any kind of reconciliation in the current relationship. Trust is not easily rebuilt after a betrayal of the heart.

Forgiveness is a key to healing, but it is not always easy to forgive when you’ve been emotionally devastated by the actions of someone you’ve loved and trusted.  We must realize though they betrayed us, they are only human and thus being are prone to be imperfect in action and thoughts. No relationship is perfect either, when you have two people who have been raised differently and had different life experiences trying to become a single  unit there is bound to be times of turbulence during the adjustment period of a newer relationship. Usually in time most differences are either remedied or put aside for the sake of the relationship.

Remember to not judge your partner too harshly, for you have faults just like they do. Compassion, understanding and forgiveness should always play a part in a relationship. Trust is the most important I believe and so is respect, respect for yourself and for your partner. No relationship is beyond repair, but there are some relationships that because of the hurt feelings , verbal and physical abuse that may be better off just letting go of and ending it than trying to save it.

Love is a very precious thing and so is the trust required to have a relationship. Think wisely before entering a relationship and work diligently to maintain and improve it. It takes some work and sometimes a long time to have a great relationship and other times you luck out and find a partner that’s like a soul mate. even those soul mate type relationships require maintenance and work to keep them going.

Life is a long journey that seems to be quickly traveled, so remember to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily and look for the silver lining in every moment you experience.

Ray Barbier

Who and what we truly are


002Why do we allow the opinions of others to effect our self-image, emotions and outlook on life. We tend to seek acceptance and reassurance from others, we learned this behavior as children. We need to see that though opinions of others have meaning and some weight, that our own opinions are just as important if not more so when it comes to our self. Others do not know you as you know yourself and they usually judge you on preconceived notions based on just one if not a few encounters they had with you. They don’t know your heart or mind, they have little fact or evidence to support their impression of your personality.

Even those that have known you for years still may not truly know who you are truly. Sometimes we do not even know ourselves as good as we should. We tend to be like a chameleon and change with the crowd and circumstances around us to blend in. We try to blend in and we rarely show our true selves out of fear of not being accepted or loved. The problem with being a chameleon or being a person who tries to fit in by putting on a mask is that we are never accepted or loved for who we are. Thus we are not accepted or loved at all, for they love the part we play not for who and what we are.

We try to kid ourselves they love us and accept us even though they see a disguise not our true image. But deep inside we will know is all a lie and falsehood. So it is far better to be loved and accepted by a few as who and what we truly are then to be loved and accepted by many for who we are not.

Be yourself, Believe in yourself and Be true to yourself. Worry not of the opinions of others and love yourself for who you are.

Ray Barbier

Words of wisdom or wishful thoughts.


IMG_1326_edited-1To love is to live, to live is to experience Love. To fear is to miss out on love and life. To fear love is to deny yourself happiness, to fear rejection is to deny yourself personal growth and the chance to succeed. To fear what others think is to throw away your chance to be who you are truly meant to be. To be like everyone else or follow the crowd is to deny yourself individuality. To deny you are a part of the whole is to deny yourself the fellowship it can bring along with the strength it can give you. To think you are strong by your own is to set yourself p for a great fall. To think you are wise is only proof you are yet a fool. To recognize your lack of wisdom and accept your faults  is the first step in becoming wise. To think you have learned it all only will deny you the truth and answers you seek. To hold a grudge and not forgive only hurts you and does nothing to the one that you begrudge. To judge others harshly only sets you up to be judged in the same way.

Be humble, Be kind, Try not to judge and if you do, do it with compassion. Love one another unconditionally and learn to forgive others as well as your own self

Ray Barbier

What defines us as a species


bnf0429We are only human, we fall, we fail, we stumble and we make loads of mistakes. We are only human, we get back up, we try again, we offer a helping hand to others, we forgive we also overcome many shortcomings. Though we as a species have many failings we also have so many great attributes and such potential. We can not allow the times we fail to be what defines us, we should make the times we succeed, overcome and prevail what defines us as a species. We should never look down on another person for mistakes or shortcomings because we could have easily been that person or in the same situation as them. Be it at work, school or just at home we must remember we all are human and are prone to make mistakes from time to time. Not one person can be perfect nor can they succeed all of the time.

We shouldn’t gossip or bad talk each other, one day you could need the help of the person you gossip about or disrespect and they just might not be there to help because of how you treated them. They probably will be there, because most humans are compassionate and forgiving in nature but there are some that are not.

Just some thoughts to ponder on.
Ray Barbier

What about a broken heart


Broken Heart symbol
Image via Wikipedia

  A good friend of mine recently suffered a from a broken heart and that is something very devastating to have to live through. We all have to deal with having our heart broken from time to time in life and some are worse than others. The thing is even though your heart has been broken it is still there and still is full of love though the pain you feel is blocking the way. Do not let one bad apple in the barrel keep you from tasting the others. To find someone who loves you the way you want and the way you are willing to love them back is sometimes a long and even painful path at times.

To quote a great author “ It is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all” and I believe that is true. I myself rather be loved and love others than to be lonely and never know the grandness of love no matter how short lived or how painful the death of that love is. For the pain will eventually pass and usually a warmer and better love comes along in the end. Live life and love the time you have with friends, lovers and potential lovers you meet in life and never expect more from others than you yourself can give or do and all should be good.

If you had fun along the way remember it more than the heartbreak because that is what matters. Remember the good and quickly suffer the pain you have and put it behind you so you can move on and find that one you are looking for. Also remember no person is perfect and neither is any relationship. Perfection is something that is not obtainable , but there are loves that are awesome that one can be blessed with . Love yourself for who and what you are and eventually someone out there will love you the same way.

Take it from someone who has had his heart ripped to shreds a few times in life and broken quite a few. Love is worth all the heartbreaks because eventually you will find the one that will make all those heartaches disappear.

May god bless you and bring you love

R. Barbier