Category: Personal

Stuff About Me and My Mundain Life

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My dad taught me one last lesson


scan0002 The loss of a love one is always a hard thing for someone to cope with, no matter how close or estranged your relationship you had with the deceased you still had love as a bond between you. It has been almost 6 years since my dad passed away, even though the pain isn’t as severe within my heart it’s just as deep as it ever was. I thin about my dad often, funny though I don’t seem to think about his shortcomings, I think more about the times I spent with him as a child, teen and young adult years. I don’t care to remember the bad times because they don’t matter as much as the good times I had with him. I can remember his silly laugh and his kind heart he had. Unfortunately we did grow somewhat apart before his death, between me living my own life and my stupidity of holding on to mistakes both of us made in my early years and also my mom and him divorcing. I regret  I let such pet things stand in the way of my love for my dad, but in the end we did find peace between us and the last image I have of him was him with a childlike smile telling me good night.

Seems we never realize how silly or stupid we are about stuff until we loose a loved one and look back to see how much time was wasted on petty emotions such as anger and bitterness. It did teach me a lot losing my dad but it also cost me a lot in many ways as well. After 5+ years I have come close to being back to normal with a few omissions by choice and a few scars to remind me of my mistakes. My dad taught me one last lesson through his passing away, he taught me never to take anyone you love for granted for you never know when their number or even yours will come up.

Thank you Dad (Stephen M. Barbier) for everything you did for me, how hard you worked for us all. And may you Rest in peace knowing we all love and remember you as the good-hearted man you truly were.

Ray Barbier

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Writing, The Gift of Freewill and our path in life.


006 Ever since I was a kid I loved to write songs, poetry and even some philosophy. I do not know what drove my mind to be so contemplative but it has been that way all my life. Some of it was probably my low self-esteem  or poor self-image I have had to battle throughout my life. Some of it was from my disappointment in how our world works, the unfairness and the lack of balance this world has. A lot of it was the hopefulness within my inner self. I have always sought out the silver lining in every situation and for the most part I still do. With age comes wisdom but also age brings cynicism and doubtfulness. Don’t understand why but the older I get the harder it is to keep the positive attitude and hopefulness within me alive. it could be the fact as we grow older we face our own mortality and therefore we become bitter or jaded because we think we have been cheated in life somehow. This of course isn’t true, we were the ones who chose the path we have been on and how and what life brought to us up to this day. There are some things that we didn’t have any choice on in life but for the most part we are what we made ourselves to be. So being bitter or feeling jaded in the end is nothing but self-pity and useless. We can always change our path, our minds and our life if we put our heart and soul into it. We can’t undo the past but we can make us a new destination and path to walk as well. This is the gift of freewill God has given humanity, we have the freedom to choose and the option to allow his will to guide our choices as well.

Writing is the expression of my heart, soul and mind. It is the sum of what I feel, think and believe. It is like a map to my future that changes and grows with each word I type and eventually it will become the signposts I had left behind for others to follow and/or view. It is my freewill being expressed through my thoughts and emotions.

We only have a short time on earth to experience all its wonders and to find our true path in life. We should be kind to others and seek out harmony with all life and walk our path we have chosen in peace.

Ray Barbier

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Trust, The lack of and its effects on Relationships


bnf0429All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.

p10055 Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.

Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness

Ray Barbier

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I must be cautious of my thoughts, actions and how I interact with the world


IMG_1077 I am who I am and I should embrace that which I am. I am who I am for a reason and I am who I am supposed to be. I am ever-changing and evolving within myself and slowly becoming who I am truly meant to be. The mistakes of my past were there to teach me and help me change into a better me as well as the wrongs done to me are to help shape me into the person I will become. Nothing happens without a reason and all things create change within and around me for better or for worse. The actions that I take now will ripple through my lifetime to create reactions and change in my future. My choices don’t only affect me but they affect the world around me. My thoughts become action and a part of the reality I live within. So I must be cautious of my thoughts, actions and how I interact with the world for everything I do, think and say can affect the world around me.

Christianity, my faith / belief teaches compassion, forgiveness and to be compassionate and that is what I try to follow. Though I do stray from the path at times I still strive to be a force of good as much as I can. I am wrong often and right occasionally, but the more I experience the more I learn where I had gone wrong. I try to live my life in a peaceful and non judgmental way thought I fail at times. I am but who I am, a ever-changing and constantly evolving person who longs for happiness and peace. May God’s will be done and may he lend me the wisdom to make the right choices in life.

Even if I put my religious beliefs aside I still am a caring, peaceful person by nature and still would seek out a path that would be beneficial to all those around me. For I find I am happiest when those around me are happy and at peace.

A lifetime is but a drop of  water compared to the infinite stream of time, we should enjoy life and seek to make other people’s lives enjoyable for the short time we are here.

Ray Barbier

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Compassion, love , kindheartedness and fellowship are the keys


012Sometimes words flow like a waterfall from mind to fingertips and other times  they trickle or even stop flowing. Sometimes I know what to write other times I just wing it as I type out the words. I do not get any monetary gain from my writing but I get great satisfaction when someone reads my posts and/ or likes them. Writing is therapeutic and is a path to self discovery and has proven to help reduce stress. I am happy just to write a post from my heart for free . So if my post is incorrect or if you disagree with it I welcome your comments, criticisms and compliments as well. For it is all a learning process to me and one I pray will never end.

I am a Christian but I support the right for everyone to choose their own spiritual path in life. For we all must make our own choices when it comes to religion and I believe we all have the right to follow the religion and/or doctrine of our choice. I do not let the differences in beliefs sway me from making friends and sharing ideas. I support change but I do not support violence as a catalyst to change. I understand sometimes there is no other choice other than violence but I believe it should always be the very last option on the table. I believe we are here to learn how to live together in peace and also to learn how to love one another unconditionally. Compassion, love , kindheartedness and fellowship are the keys to a brighter and better world.

Sometimes Random thoughts contain facets of truth and wisdom if one can read between the lines.

Ray Barbier

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Still the same person deep inside


rayraydI remember as a child I would befriend anyone at a drop of a hat, I didn’t care about your religious beliefs, color of your skin, nationality or if you were the same or very different from me. When I was a child all the prejudices and complications of having different religious beliefs were not a concern to me in any way. I accepted everyone as is and if you didn’t like me or were cruel to me I just would avoid you until you were friendly and nice to me. Forgiving others for me as a child was second nature and accepting others as they were was my first nature. Now that I am older I still pretty much follow the same philosophies as when I was young, the only difference is I have to fight all the influences of the world as I do. Seems when we grow up we start making a simple process much more complicated for reasons that yet elude me.

I believe a lot of the problem with us when we grow up is we begin embracing the fear we shrugged off as children. Instead of letting go of fear and embracing compassion and understanding we embrace fear. The fear we faced as children was easily shrugged off because we had faith in our family, friends, other human beings and in a higher power. As we grow older we lose faith in one or not all of those things or at least our faith is weakened considerably as we grow older. I looked at everyone and everything as a part of my world and a part of a large family as a child. No one was a stranger and if you were a stranger it wasn’t for long. Some say that was naïveté and ignorance to the dangers of the world, I say it was faith in my fellow humans, compassion and understanding at work.

003The only times I was mad at others as a child is when I believed someone was being treated unkindly or unfair. I didn’t seem to like people taking advantage of each other, bullying each other or causing some kind of pain to others. But even though I would get mad and if I could stand up for the oppressed I quickly forgave the person or persons doing the wrong. Seems I lived in the now and let the past go easier back then. It is amazing how much we can learn from our youth both from the good things and the mistakes we had made. Though I know its impossible to be a child again and think exactly like I did, I can try to embrace the better qualities I lost during my years of life. I can revisit the memories of who I was and re awaken the child within me. Though I have grown up I am still the same person deep inside, I can shed the fear and the need for complication within my life.

Who I was as a child is the core of who I am now. It is that core which I must embrace and it is fear and the complication complex I must shed.
Ray Barbier

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I am worth no more or less than any other


eye Sometimes I find I am way to sensitive and get hurt too easy, it is because how much I care about others and some of it is my desire to be accepted. Though I have come a long way in the insecurity department, I don’t rely on other people’s opinions about me or if they accept me or not as much as I used to. A lot of the reason I don’t get bothered by it as much is I have learned to accept myself as is and realize my family, friends and love of my life are the only ones that matter in the end. Not everyone will like me or accept me, but those that do I will cherish and embrace as a part of my extended family. Self confidence and self-worth have been issues I have dealt with since my teen years. Now 44 I am finally getting a grip on reality and the truth of it all. I walk in faith now instead of fear and know God accepts me and loves me and so do those I love.

I am worth no more or less than any other and I am as confident as I need to be. I can do what I need and want and that is all that matters to me now.

God’s love heals, builds character and inspires all.
Ray Barbier

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If it wasn’t for all of you


dd43853Today I started looking back upon my life, remembering all the friends I had. I have lost some to death and others through time and distance. I remember them all and miss each one of them. Today I write this post for them, a dedication or celebration of having known them and to thank them for being my friends. To those of them I may have done wrong or left behind unintentionally I apologize. To those that forgot me I will still remember you within my heart. If it wasn’t for all of you I wouldn’t have had such a great life so far. Now that I am growing old and have lost most my friends I realize how lucky I was to have all of you. I just hope that some of you will remember me as a good guy. I hope all of you are happy and living a decent life.

I will always be a friend to all of you and will be here if you ever need me. God bless all of you and once again THANK YOU!

 

Friends are the anchor that keeps our feet on the ground and the lifesaver that keeps us afloat in the ocean of life.
Ray Barbier

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Each day is a blessing and a gift


HPIM0622My eyes open to see another day, the stress, fear and aggravation of yesterday is gone and the hope, faith and anticipation of another blessed day of life fills my heart and soul. What happened yesterday is left behind and no regrets, sadness, pain or frustration of days gone by will interfere with this gift of life for another day. I don’t live in the past nor do I live in the future, I live here and in the now. So no worries of what might be or what could have been will influence me. All I have is thankfulness for yet another chance to live, love and experience this world and its wonders. Yet another chance to make a difference, to make a mark on this world and to enjoy the day with those I care for and love.

Each day is a blessing and a gift, cherish it and give thanks to God for another chance at life.
Ray Barbier

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Just follies and illusions


{love and happiness}

Each morning I wake knowing I am blessed with another day of life and with someone to love me as well as a job. The things I used to take for granted seem to be so much more important nowadays. With the world caught up in a whirlwind of troubles that seem to be getting worse. The fear of those troubles are far less than they used to be and the appreciation of family friends and those who are special to me grows. The simpler things in life seem to have more importance than the ambition and social statuses ever had. The things that once mattered are shown to me for what they are, just follies and illusions. The things I took for granted finally become my fist priority like they used to be in my youth. The happiness of those I love and know comes before my own, though I’ve found that their happiness brings me a fulfilling happiness of my own. The selfish me is fading away as I embrace the humble and caring side of myself once again.

What good is all the gold and silver in the world if the ones you love are left behind.
Raymond Barbier

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