Tag: Mental Health

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Some Random Ideas


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Too many times I find that I choose to be unhappy by focusing on the negative thoughts running amok in my head. I also have noticed when I put some effort into pushing the negative thoughts aside with a more positive frame of mind, my day seems to get a lot brighter and/or happier. So I have come to the conclusion that ones frame of thought controls not only the mood one is in but also significantly influences ones total outlook on life. To think positive, to reject the negative thoughts within yourself and that which comes from an external force can change ones day if not life. We are what we think or believe we are and we are either limited or expanded by those thoughts and/or beliefs. The power of thought along with emotions are what makes us the sentient beings God has created us to be, without self-consciousness and emotional awareness we would not have the great potential we as human beings have.

Ray Barbier

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We do not always see the opportunities that surround us


IMG_1077The power of thought be it positive or negative  can affect the body as well as the mind. If you go around with a negative attitude it attracts more of the same. There is no guarantee if you are a positive person that you wont have to deal with some negativity, but you will not face as much as someone with a negative attitude. With so many books out there claiming they have secrets that will lead  you to better life and all that your heart desires, the only one getting what they want most of the time with those books is the author and the publisher. Not saying the don’t have some kind of truth to what they are saying, usually its all common sense or plain positive thinking along with visualization. Now I am not saying don’t buy those books or that they don’t work, I am just saying a lot of what they teach is out there for free if you look hard enough.

One easy way to be happy and have all you desire is to be more realistic in what you desire and expect of yourself and others. Though most of us would not be happy with that scenario so that leaves us wanting for a shortcut or easy way to reach our goals and find happiness in life. Reality is, there is no real shortcuts out there unless you have some rich uncle or you are a con artists or something along those lines. Hard work is always needed to achieve your goals, saving and investing wisely also helps. The one thing I have learned it is hard to get rich owning your own business bit its next to impossible to get rich working for someone else.

But is it really money, possessions and or social status we are needing or wanting? Will they really bring that happiness we think they will or will they just temporarily give us a happy high and then we find ourselves back where we started or worse? Financial stability always helps but to be rich is only having way more than we need. Sure I would love to have enough right now to retire and live like I do for the rest of my life. I am happy being a lower middle-class person and I don’t see any real need for me to be a millionaire. Give me a roof over my head a good vehicle, bills paid and 3 square meals a day with maybe a bit left over in the bank and I am one happy man. But that is me and I know there are those that want the moon and everything else they can get in their lifetime.

So does visualization and positive thinking work? Yes, but to the magnitude that some claim, probably not as often as we all would like. Sure you can attract things through positivity and visualization,  you can also get a lot of things through faith and prayer as well. Sometimes it is just the matter of opening your eyes to the opportunities around you. For most of us we do not always see the opportunities that surround us nor the gifts God has laid by our feet because we are too focused on the stress and worry of life to see them.

Positive thinking, visualization, faith and prayer all can bring you some happiness and even some wealth. but if you forget where your blessings and help comes  from (GOD) they can always be taken away just as fast.

Ray Barbier

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Music, stress and relaxation


English: music therapy

Listening to music is a good way to relax and relieve stress, especially if you just kick back, close your eyes and let the music take you away. As my fellow author would call it.. Space out…  We tend to get too much in a hurry to do everything and to get everywhere. We act like we are running out of time, though in a way that is true for we only have a short time to live our lives in this world. But to live every second trying to do everything at the speed of light leaves us in the dark to what is going on around us and also keeps us in sensory overload. We need to breathe, stretch and just chill out at times. Our jobs make that next to impossible, but outside work we can learn to manage time to where we have time to relax. Music being a very good tool for relaxation is what I usually use to relieve stress and relax the body and mind.

There is some scientific research out there that suggest music can alter ones brain wave patterns. Brainwaves tend to sync with the music tempo you are listening to, if you listen to harder faster music you become more mentally alert and the slower tempo music causes most of us to relax and can even cause us to enter a meditative state. Music also has proven to lower blood pressure, help with anxiety and depression as well.

Music is vibrational medicine for the mind, body and spirit.

Ray Barbier

More info on this subject can be found at one of these links below.
Brainwave ‘Music‘ May Soothe a Troubled Psyche | Fox News
Music Therapy – How and Why Music Therapy Is Effective
Brain Wave Music Therapy | eHow.com
Sit back and relax to brain wave music – TODAY Health – …

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we are the masters of our own thought, actions, words and emotions


65241To be happy one has to learn not to worry and stress over the things that we can not change. We should only worry over the things we have control over and change them if we are able. The things out of our control are going to be what they are destined to be so no reason to fret or worry over them. Those are the things we leave in the hands of God and have faith that he will take care of them or help us through them. Life is far less complicated than we humans make it out to be. We complicate our lives by over thinking situations and overreacting to circumstances. We should learn to be a little more carefree and definitely a lot less stressed out.  We need to learn happiness or the lack of happiness is all in our own hands. No one but our own selves controls if we are happy or not, it’s all within our own perception and our reaction to reality that makes happiness and/or any other emotion. We choose how we feel in reaction to the circumstances around us, no one else can choose for us how we feel. Others only can throw things at us we tend to react negatively to and from there we choose to be sad, angry, happy or even indifferent.  Though a lot of our reactions to external stimuli are programmed in us from our youth we can change the programming so we react differently. The bottom line is that we are the masters of our own thought, actions, words and emotions and we alone can choose to be happy or not.

 

Ray Barbier

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Trust, The lack of and its effects on Relationships


bnf0429All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.

p10055 Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.

Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness

Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.
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So much can contribute to ones perception of this world


015 Each day we should make it a priority to help someone in need, if the need be money, a pat on the back, a bit of your time or just an ear to listen. We are all in this world together, we need to be supportive of each other and kind to one another as well. We should always try to see things from the other persons point of view, many times what you perceived as a negative person could be a wonderful person just having a bad moment. There is always a reason for someone’s bitterness and / or anger. Just like us they could be feeling let down or maybe feel like life isn’t quite treating them right. We all go through that at times in life, because each of us differ in personality so much that misunderstandings and conflict of interests are unavoidable.  That is what we must remember when dealing with others, for we can unintentionally cause someone else grief because of a misunderstanding. So much can contribute to ones perception of this world, how one perceives it is based on the experiences and passed on beliefs they collected through their life. Even though we all have many similarities we will always perceive reality in a different way than any one else.

The differences between each of us gives humanity as a species a better chance to survive, we all have our own unique perspective on things therefore we all will come up with different solution to problems if not just variations of the same solution. Culture, family, peers, education and personal experiences makes each of us the unique individuals we are. There is no person who is better or worse than another, we are all just suited for different tasks in life. We are all a part of a machine called humanity which is a part of a larger one called life. If we could put behind us our fear of the differences between us all we could achieve almost anything as a whole. The potential for the human race is great, we must be sure to aim to achieve things that are mutually beneficial and not things that can cause grief or harm.

Random thoughts can lead to thoughts of inspiration and reflection.
Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.
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To be positive, compassionate and a bringer of good tidings is always the best path


016Sometimes I believe we all focus way too much on the negative side of life and our own faults. We tend to put way to much importance on those negative things and we do so to the point of leaving very little time for the positive things in ourselves and our lives. Negative things and thoughts become a distraction from the good things in life and the goodness within our hearts and minds. We should give less priority to those negative thoughts and things and put more effort in being positive and enjoying life. It seems like it so much harder to help others when you are overwhelmed with worries and negativity, and when you do good for others the weight of the negativity in your life seems a lot lighter. Fear, worry, sadness and hate just wear you down and they weigh down the heart. They consume all of your time as well as your energy, they are the robbers of happiness and life. Being a positive influence and doing good things such as helping others can raise your spirit as well as your energy levels. Plus the more positive thoughts and actions you put into action the more positivity comes into your life.

Why allow the negative things in life to bring you down, doing so does not change the situation and it just adds to the grief as well as your stress. To be positive, compassionate and a bringer of good tidings is always the best path to follow for it brings you happiness and inner peace. Life will always have its ups and downs but how you decide to react to both is what determines how happy you will be.

We are at our best when we let compassion and love be our guides through life.
Raymond Barbier

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Send positivity back to the source


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Negativity, something we all must face from sources both inward and externally. How does one deal with negativity? I know of only three ways of dealing with negativity either you absorb it , avoid it or try to convert it to positivity. Absorbing it or internalizing it causes too much stress on one’s body and mind, avoiding it which is my first choice usually is a very hard thing to do. Converting it is  to temporarily absorb it and to convert it into positivity in the hopes of returning the positivity to the one who sent the negativity. The third choice is not easy to master and takes quite a bit of effort but in the end is the best choice. Not only do you rid yourself of the negativity but you send positivity back to the source which will dilute the negativity remaining in it.  Also I notice if you are very positive minded and charged it seems to repel a lot of negativity and usually attracts more positive people. There of course is always a few negative people who charge straight at the positive, they seem to find some kind of enjoyment out of causing others to suffer along with them. I guess the old saying is true “Suffering Loves Company”…

I am but a student of life and am still in search of better ways to face the problems of modern life as well as the human dilemma. I share what I find and hope to learn more as I go and grow. I never claim I know the only answer or even the right answer, I just relay what I have found to work and so far has proven to be true. For I am only a fool seeking to be a sage who looks for fellow travelers along the way.

 

Peace and Love to all

Raymond Barbier

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Change, acceptance and fear


003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.

 

 

 

 

The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier

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Fear, The Enemy of Success and of Happiness.


tpl_7_ppl  Paranoia, self-doubt and low self-esteem are some the most difficult thought processes to correct. They play a significant role in ones chances to achieve success and in living a happy life. It seems for the most part the roadblocks to happiness stem from one troublesome root. That root cause appears to be fear, fear of failure, rejection and the fear of not being able to be in control. Fear seems to control so much of our decision-making that it controls a part if not all of our life. Though fear has its place in one’s life it is not supposed to control our life. Fear is a lot like a wild dog, once it is in the chicken coop it will keep killing the chickens until it gets tamed. Just like the wild dog, fear is something we all need to learn how to tame. Because if we allow fear to run wild it will kill our hopes and dreams before they have a chance to materialize as possible realities.

The fears we all have to face seem to be deep-rooted and they had their beginnings far in our youthful past. The worst of them usually come from our childhood and teen years. The only way I know to face such fears is to discover the time and place of origin. If we can discover the original source then we can find a way to overcome the fears hold on us.

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
– Eleanor Roosevelt

  In a nut shell the only way to conquer or tame your fears is to discover their root and face them head on. Once you do overcome your fears then you are on the path to becoming your true self and will be able to live to your full potential.

 

Just some random thoughts on fear

Raymond Barbier

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