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if there is no trust then love gets twisted

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002Love and matters of the heart are complicated but yet simple. The complication comes from our doubts and fear of being hurt most of the time.  Sometimes this comes from past experiences and other times it comes from the lack of experience in being truly loved. Also self-worth and doubt can be a big problem as well, but trust plays one of the biggest parts in love and happiness. One can not love someone and be loved and not trust, if there is no trust then love gets twisted into jealousy and possessiveness.

One problem is when someone trusts and loves another with all their heart and are betrayed they tend to get a very deep scar emotionally and mentally. This scar or wound is not easily healed and will tend to affect future relationships as well as any kind of reconciliation in the current relationship. Trust is not easily rebuilt after a betrayal of the heart.

Forgiveness is a key to healing, but it is not always easy to forgive when you’ve been emotionally devastated by the actions of someone you’ve loved and trusted.  We must realize though they betrayed us, they are only human and thus being are prone to be imperfect in action and thoughts. No relationship is perfect either, when you have two people who have been raised differently and had different life experiences trying to become a single  unit there is bound to be times of turbulence during the adjustment period of a newer relationship. Usually in time most differences are either remedied or put aside for the sake of the relationship.

Remember to not judge your partner too harshly, for you have faults just like they do. Compassion, understanding and forgiveness should always play a part in a relationship. Trust is the most important I believe and so is respect, respect for yourself and for your partner. No relationship is beyond repair, but there are some relationships that because of the hurt feelings , verbal and physical abuse that may be better off just letting go of and ending it than trying to save it.

Love is a very precious thing and so is the trust required to have a relationship. Think wisely before entering a relationship and work diligently to maintain and improve it. It takes some work and sometimes a long time to have a great relationship and other times you luck out and find a partner that’s like a soul mate. even those soul mate type relationships require maintenance and work to keep them going.

Life is a long journey that seems to be quickly traveled, so remember to love wholeheartedly, forgive easily and look for the silver lining in every moment you experience.

Ray Barbier

friends, Personal, Poems and Writings, Random Thoughts, Religion, Religious, Thought of the day

Thoughts on Love and Forgiveness

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Rembrandt – “The Return of the Prodigal Son

Love, one of the greatest gifts and blessings God gave us. The love we have for family and friends and the love they have for us as well . The love for our fellow humans and the love we share with all those we interact with. So much we long for and desire, but Love is the grandest prize we can obtain and definitely the greatest gift we can give and/or share.

We were created in Love, we were saved by Gods love and we will in the end bask in his love. We should live this short life full of love and sharing it everywhere we travel. Forgiveness and Love are the two things we have the power to manifest and to spread wherever we go. We should love one another for it is commanded that we do so and it seems to be the most joyful thing we have to do in our lives. To forgive lifts the burden from both the one who forgives and the one that is forgiven.  Love  fills us with light and happiness.

Ray Barbier

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Life is a short thing to experience

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bnf0422 Your heart can guide you rightly and it also can lead you wrong, Temper your heart  with the mind  and use the heart to empower the mind. Be humble and put the ego to the back of your mind. Be compassionate and understanding so that when it is time for your judgment , you will be judged in the same manner. Be at peace with yourself so you are able to find peace with everyone and everything else. Remember life is precious and the time we have to live is short in the scheme of things. Live in love and love to live for love is the greatest power besides faith that we have been blessed with. A love with conditions is not love, it is just a complicated emotional relationship.

bnf0424Forgiveness is easy to give, therefore forgive totally so both you and the one who you forgave can move forward.  Forgiveness frees you from the hurt and  the anger you feel and releases the one you forgive from their guilt as well. Being that life is so short I myself can not see any reason to hold on to a grudge for any length of time. It consumes way too much energy and tends to make the one who carries it unhappy and/or grumpy.

p10053Cherish each moment you have with those you love and care about for there is no guarantee that you or they will be here tomorrow.  Get off your computer, tablet and put away the game system. Get out and live life instead of hiding away in your house so much. Balance the time at home and out in the world, for you don’t want to waste time nor miss out on life since life is a short thing to experience.  Most of all remember the old saying: “Life is what you make it” and then go out and make life as complete and happy as you can.

Get out and live life, live it to the fullest and do so with compassion, understanding and love.

Ray Barbier

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what I don’t like about myself I try to change and what I like about myself I try to improve.

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004Sometimes I let what other people think of me bother me more than it should. If someone likes me or not is something I can not control and knowing that makes me see that they are going to think what they may no matter what I do or say. So do I really care if others lie me or not, well I would be lying if I said no, but it isn’t as important to me as it used to be for sure. All I can do is to try to be someone who I would like and try to be someone I could be proud of being. IF I am neither of those then I have a problem, I may not always love myself but what I don’t like about myself I try to change and what I like about myself I try to improve as well. It is an ever going challenge to improve oneself and to grow emotionally and spiritually.

Be who you are and make who you are someone you could respect and love.

Ray Barbier

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Trust, The lack of and its effects on Relationships

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bnf0429All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.

p10055 Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.

Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness

Ray Barbier

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If it wasn’t for all of you

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dd43853Today I started looking back upon my life, remembering all the friends I had. I have lost some to death and others through time and distance. I remember them all and miss each one of them. Today I write this post for them, a dedication or celebration of having known them and to thank them for being my friends. To those of them I may have done wrong or left behind unintentionally I apologize. To those that forgot me I will still remember you within my heart. If it wasn’t for all of you I wouldn’t have had such a great life so far. Now that I am growing old and have lost most my friends I realize how lucky I was to have all of you. I just hope that some of you will remember me as a good guy. I hope all of you are happy and living a decent life.

I will always be a friend to all of you and will be here if you ever need me. God bless all of you and once again THANK YOU!

 

Friends are the anchor that keeps our feet on the ground and the lifesaver that keeps us afloat in the ocean of life.
Ray Barbier

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I embrace the tender heart within me and accept that which makes me who and what I am.

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It is amazing how there is a tender side to everyone if they allow it to show. How we tend to hide that side out of fear, the fear of either being hurt by others or being labeled as someone who is a sissy or too nice for their own good. Being macho, tough and/or cold never gets anyone anywhere but alone and unhappy. For you should be that tender-hearted person god made you be, this does not mean to allow others to walk on you it means simply to forgive those that do and side step those that may. Forgiveness and acceptance of each other and our shortcomings is what Jesus tried to teach us, turn the other cheek and to love even thy enemy. We cannot be a hurtful and hateful person without suffering many pains and losses due to our lack of compassion and love. I rather suffer as a person of love and compassion than to suffer for being hateful and bringing suffering to others. Think what you may of me, my philosophy and the way I view this world we live in, I am what am and I cannot be anything other than which I was born to be. When I tried to be what others expected me to be I suffered with unhappiness, anger and sometimes depression, I choose to be me and be happy as I am than to worry about the opinions of others. If someone is not a positive influence on me I simply avoid them and wish them the best and then seek out the more positive people around me. When anger does strike me I let it out and then put it out so to move on instead of hanging on to the negativity it brings. I embrace the tender heart within me and accept that which makes me who and what I am. I accept and embrace what makes those I meet who and what they are as well. It is the differences between us that make us such a wondrous and unique species.

May peace and compassion be your guides through life.
Raymond Barbier

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What our definition of happiness is may differ

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008 I am who and what I am, full of faults and shortcomings that I have learned to accept. I am no stud or intellectual giant but I have finer points that few ever see or notice. My uniqueness is something I treasure and will never hide from others. I used to be so concerned about what others thought of me, but I have learned that what they think about me is less important than what I think about myself. I have leaned to love me for who and what I am. Take me for what I am or do not take me at all, for I am the sum of all my experiences though life and the person I have become within. I am an ever changing and growing person and I embrace the fact I can and will make many mistakes along this path of life I walk. By accepting myself as is I also have learned to accept others for who and what they are. Not one person can be perfect nor can they be accepted and/or liked by everyone. I learned one of the greatest gifts one can give and receive (besides Love) is forgiveness. For forgiveness is one of those things that usually return to you 7 fold down the line. Just like Jesus taught us, we must love and forgive freely and not be swayed by anger or envy. Selfishness is one of the biggest enemies of being happy and living a full life. Selfishness keeps us from loving and forgiving others, it keeps our focus on ourselves and not on the world in full. We may be individuals but we are also a part of a huge family called humanity. We must learn to love and accept ourselves before we learn to love and accept those around us. Love is something that starts as a seed within and grows outward and so is all the other emotions related to it. To love yourself is not to be selfish it is to be selfless, for loving yourself leads to loving others and is a required first step towards happiness. There is always going to be someone you have a hard time liking but this does not mean you can not love them is a general sense. There have been many who I have not liked so much in my life but I still loved them as a human being.  Hate the sin not the sinner and love the person but not their faults or actions.

I am who I am and you are who you are, We are two unique people with different views but both of us want the same thing and that is to live a happy life. What our definition of happiness is may differ but we both still long for and strive towards that same goal. I pray and hope you will find that happiness as much as I hope I find mine.

Not one person is alike, yet we all desire to be happy.

Raymond Barbier

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Start looking at the world not only through our own eyes

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006 Living in a society where there is no value to anything, where we want everything and want it yesterday. Sensations both old and new are the fuel and the faster we can get them the more we want them. Addicted to our senses and a slave to our need for stimuli we race forward without taking the time to truly enjoy the world around us. We leave friendships and loves behind us in search of the perfect life, we fall to the deception that is such a thing as a perfect life or a perfect relationship. Too much too fast and we are approaching either an overload or the tragic end to our fast past world. So quick to judge others but slow to see the imperfections in our own lives. We live our lives so quickly and so unaware of the happiness we could obtain as well as the beauty all around us.

Even the children are loosing their innocence way too early, imagination is becoming an extinct quality as well as the ability to see the world in its true majestic form. We allow politics, religions and philosophies to divide our world and keep us from reaching our true potential as a species. It is not our differences that makes us unstable or weak, it is our inability to use those differences as the strength they really are. Our ability to change, adapt and to exchange ideas makes us a very unique and wondrous species. Our lack of tolerance and our inability to truly see each other in a compassionate light leaves us in constant turmoil. We need to start looking at the world not only through our own eyes but through the eyes of others, we must start being more selfless in the way we think and live. Individuality is a good thing but not seeing the whole picture due to only perceiving things though our own eyes  is a path to eventual destruction. We must realize that our personal perception of the world around us is not the only true perception. Reality is the sum of every living creature’s perception of the physical universe.

We need to slow down and smell the flowers, behold the beauty of nature and enjoy the company we are blessed to keep. For if we keep on forging into the future like a speeding bullet we will eventually burn out. Stand as many but as one, seek out the truth of all things and live each day as it may be our last. Loving ourselves and all that is around us, fearing nothing but our own deception. Do right upon others and forgive those who are not wise enough to see the error in their ways. We also should remember to forgive our own short comings for we are all but human. But being human is a grand thing for we are children of the great creator. God gave us life and that in itself makes us special and unique. Each of us were given gifts and abilities, each different from the other but the same in their purpose. We mustn’t waste those gifts not take them for granted. We should use them for the good of mankind and share them with all life.

Very random thoughts that I feel needed to be shared. Right or Wrong they are here for you to read.
Raymond Barbier

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But a Fool Can Be a Wiseman Some of The Time

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Vector image of two human figures with hands i...

Looking back on my life and at all the friends that came into my life and have gone away, I remember the fun and boring times with a sense of bliss. Wondering am I, About where they all are and how there lives have turned out. Pondering on the possibility if any of them think of me or even remember my name. Makes me even question what effect I had on this world and the people I have known. I know sometimes I played the fool and other times I played the Loner. I know I may have done wrong to to others with no malice in my heart, Yet good intentions or not what is wrong is wrong. I may have done some good for a handful of people I have met, yet the majority of the time I was just there and had no effect.

All the dreams I had are now just ghostly thoughts from my youth. What dreams remain are very simple and down to earth. The wandering fool has no direction nor no destination and this wandering fool walks in too many circles. The Wiseman who puts away his wisdom is more a fool than the fool himself. For wisdom and knowledge should be used if not shared and if wasted is as useless as a boat on dry land. And I need to get my boat back out to sea instead of letting it rot on the sandy shore.

The realization that friends and family are the true treasures of life brings this fool one step closer to being a sage. Love is the life force that is in us all and it is the greatest gift god gave us all. Be compassionate and loving to one another, shoulder the weight for your brother and or your sister when they are in need. Look beyond color,sex,origin and religion to see we are all one big family in a quite large house. Put Greed,fear,selfishness and deceit behind you for they are nothing but stumbling blocks on the path to happiness. Most Important is to remember to Love,Forgive and accept yourself as who and what you are.

Looking back on my life I see all the good friends and family I had. I am fortunate to had the friends and family I had and those I still do have. I May be a fool, But a fool can be a Wiseman some of the time.

Peace and Love to you all.
Raymond Barbier

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