All of us have had relationships such as friendships, family and lovers that we found ourselves loosing trust. When we lose trust in a relationship the relationship changes, without trust a relationship stays either in turmoil or becomes stagnant. It seems the one relationship that suffers the worse from loss of trust is that of lovers, even if we move on to another love relationship we tend to hold on to the hurt from the one before. When we hold on to that hurt we also bring along the mistrust of the ones we love. This is unfair to the new lover for they had not done anything to deserve the lack of trust they receive. We hurt not only the ones we love by carrying the lack of trust from one relationship to another we also hurt ourselves. We close ourselves off from the love we deserve and close off our love from those who deserve it as well. This makes both parties unhappy and it makes the relationship very unstable.
Forgiveness is the key to restoring trust, for if there is no trust between you then there is no forgiveness. Even after you have moved on to a new love you still have to totally forgive the one before so you can trust again and avoid carrying pain with you into the new relationship. The fact that no one is perfect and anyone can make mistakes along with poor choices means your always at risk of getting hurt, but if you live your life in fear of such you are not really living at all. You can not live in fear of what you can not control for it will only keep you lonely and unhappy, you should just accept the risk and enjoy each moment you are given and keep hope and faith alive within yourself and your relationships.
Just some thoughts on Trust, Relationships and Forgiveness
Ray Barbier
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Relationships break from both sides, don’t they? It seems some folks like to clothe themselves in hurt feelings.
Yes they do, if they can not learn to have total forgiveness for one another then it becomes a very vicous cycle that usualy dosnt end well.
Great point, Alice. Folks who seem to clothe themselves in hurt feelings might cling to resentment because it is the only connection they have left to someone they think they need in their lives. IMHO, forgiveness is necessary but not sufficient for trust. I.e., I can forgive someone without trusting him to act differently in the future. And I can forgive someone without wanting to have a relationship with him anymore. But as Ray says, I don’t have a basis for trust or relationship without forgiveness. Thanks for listing my post in your related articles, Ray.
I agree with forgiveness; it’s one of the hardest things to let go of. Once you learn to let it leave your being, the feeling you get inside is indescribable:)
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