Category Archives: friends

Random Thoughts Oct. 23rd, 2022


Life in itself can be quite challenging at times, trying to navigate the pitfalls in relationships and maintaining a certain level of self-respect along with good self-esteem is a hard thing to achieve. Not only do you have to endure the negative comments of peers and family, you also have to keep your own negative thoughts down as you try and keep positive. Some people are fortunate and have a great family and group of friends to help them through it all, but most have a mixed bag of supportive and semi-toxic peers and family.

In my case, I had a supportive mother but my father was not around as much as I needed and when he was he just couldn’t relate to me. My brother was one of those womanizing alpha male types who tried to dominate me and mold me into a younger version of himself. I think both my dad and brother had good intentions in their actions, just they didn’t know how to relate to or deal with me since I was more of a passive easygoing person who had some self-esteem issues.

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Low self-esteem and poor self-image plagued me throughout my life. I went through the blaming my dad and brother stage until I realized that I am the one holding on to those feelings and that it was a collection of experiences I went through in life in general that contributed to the problem more than just those two people in my life. In a nutshell, my peers and family may have contributed to my poor self-image and low self-esteem but it is I who held on to it and believed the negative thoughts in my mind.

Relying on others to define your worth through their opinions is one of the key contributors to low self-esteem. Even if you don’t do that consciously, you absorb both the positive and negative opinions of your peers and family. You need to shake off the negative and start re-enforcing the positive by focusing on your positive traits. The sooner you realize you are unique and that you are just as important as everyone else in the world the sooner you will start to heal.

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Be yourself, love who you are, and know that you are not lesser than any other person. You may have had different circumstances and have lived in a different environment than others, but you have the same opportunity to change yourself and succeed in life as long as you are willing to work for it. Sometimes you may have to work harder due to circumstances, but if you hang in there and give it your all you can rise above those circumstances. Just remember to be open to others helping you along the way and be there to help others along the way as well.

Comparing yourself to others is not a good way to evaluate your self-worth. Each person is unique and therefore we all will not succeed in the same way or at the same things. Instead of comparing yourself to others, find a person who inspires you, one that you would like to be like,, and strive to be similar to them. You will never be exactly like that person but you will be similar and the differences between you and that person makes you unique.

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Try to avoid defeatism, stop saying you can’t do something until after you have given it your best shot. Too many people will fail at doing something without ever trying because they get stuck in the I can’t do that loop. Change I can’t into let’s see if I can or yes I can do this. You will never know if you can do something until you at least attempt to do it once. It’s far better to fail after giving it your best shot than to not try at all due to your fear of failure.

Being we all are unique and are individuals, how we have to deal with self-esteem and self-worth may vary. In the end, it is all about how you respond to the opinions of others.

Random Thoughts 4/20/2022


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People wonder why there is so much low self-esteem in the world, if you take a good look at television shows, commercials, social media, movies, and even the news on cable news stations you just may see some of the reasons for low self-esteem, but then there is also how one’s family treats them, their peers and the educational system.

When you are constantly bombarded with images of thin, fit, and muscular actors, advertisements aimed to push miracle vitamins and supplements to fix all your shortcomings, it is very hard to hold on to a good self-image and even harder to build it up. Constantly being told that having a perfect body weight, toned muscles, the right clothes, and accessories makes one beautiful and successful is making it hard for most people to maintain healthy self-esteem.

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Unfortunately, fashion, the newest electronics, and possessions play a big part in teenage self-image, which makes it hard for those who don’t have the money to compete with their peers. Combining that with parents that have to work 2 jobs or inconvenient hours to maintain the quality of life they have only makes it harder on teenagers and kids.

The ones that seem to suffer the worst during school years are those that don’t quite fit the norm, the overweight, the below-average to average looking, and the sensitive passive individuals. Bullying from those who think they are cool, tougher, and better than others does not help the situation at all. The consequences of bullying are usually mild and it seems it’s hard to catch kids bullying or maybe some just overlook it.

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Parents and siblings also play a large part in the development of a child’s self-esteem, they can be either a positive or negative force when it comes to a child’s self-image. Siblings usually are competing for the parent’s attention, love and favor so they tend to be very mean to one another. Parents on the other hand usually are trying to do what’s best for the child but don’t realize what works for one child does not always work for the other. Each child is a unique individual, they have different needs and need help in different ways. Some parents, unfortunately, don’t know how to deal with their children at all so they try to treat them as if they are adults way before the child or teen is emotionally and mentally ready to do so. This usually results in conflict and the child/teen becomes rebellious and has a poor self-image.

If the low self-esteem is not addressed and corrected during the child/teen years then it is carried into the adult years. That makes it very hard for the Adult to achieve a healthy relationship with a significant other and even harder for them to become successful in the work world.

Raising kids is not an easy task, being a parent means you have to be a caregiver, advisor, instructor, friend, leader, cook, counselor, and of course an ATM for the children lol. Helping a child navigate the battlefields of youth and preparing them for the many challenges they will have to face in the future is not an easy thing to accomplish. All you can do is give it your best shot and always be there for them when they need you.

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I myself have had self-esteem issues throughout my life, I have been battling low self-esteem for many decades. I could go down a list of all the things that caused my low self-esteem but what is the use of that now that it now falls squarely on me to repair the damage and improve myself. Plus the first step in moving on and building up your self-esteem/self-image is to forgive those who helped in destroying it and letting go of your own contributions to the whole mess as well.

Just know this, there is no one better than you, but then there is no one lesser than you. We all are unique, we all have our own gifts to embrace and shortcomings that we need to deal with. There is no one on this planet that does not have some emotional or psychological baggage to deal with. How much money you have, and how many toys you have has nothing to do with who you are or how good you are. What defines you is how you live life, and how you treat others and yourself.

Being successful sure feels good, being financially well off does make life easier in many ways, but money, possessions, and success are fleeting, they can be gone in an instant. Family and friends to me are far more important along with how I treat others, and how I live my life. Those things will be with me throughout my life.

Well, I wish you happiness, remember it does not matter what others think or say about you, it is what you know about yourself that matters the most.

Random Thoughts 1-17-2018


011_thumb.jpgOn my path through life I was faced with the decision of either continuing down a path that was killing my spirit slowly, a place of employment where I could not be myself and I was constantly put down. Well to make the story short after a supervisor yelled at me and threatened me I chose to walk away. After which I found so many people willing to be there for me in heart, spirit and even financially. I feel the Negative forces of the universe thought it would destroy me and in the end it just gave me more faith in humanity and God.

Though Times may get rough for me down the road far as finances, I will survive and I shall find a new path to walk. More faith in my heart and soul than there has been in over a decade or two I face the road ahead with many by my side. The point is this, No matter what life may throw at you there is always the good things it throws in with it, if your willing to accept them or not they are there. Just good to see folks living by the ideal that he/she is not heavy he/she is my brother/sister mentality and heart.

Thank you and God Bless every one of you for the Moral support and financial as well. I am so blessed to have good friends, be they online or in person…

 

Random thoughts 11-14-2016


Thanksgiving is just around the corner here in the United States, a time to give thanks for all that has been bestowed upon you and the blessing of life itself. It is the time of the year to remember those we have lost and a time to celebrate those we have found. It is also a time to realize how blessed we are to still be here and alive.

During this holiday season put your past and the past of others behind you and celebrate the gift of the here and now. Forgive and forget so the future we face will be a brighter one for all of us. Most of al forgive yourself, hard to move on to the future if your stuck in the regrets of things from your past. Embrace one another, for we are all we have here on this journey of life. Your friends and family are the foundation of your life and should be the ones you embrace and celebrate.

Hope each one of you have a blessed day and a happy Thanksgiving

Ray Barbier

Thanks To all you Dedicated Active World Citizens!


Active worlds Turned 20 years old this year, Aw is more than just a 3D Environment or Chat program. It is a community, a family of sorts. Though sometimes that family can be a tad dysfunctional, usually when they work together they can do some very amazing things. AW has many worlds to offer and each world is unique in their theme and building styles. Though the technology that is used within AW is older than some of the other 3D environments the capabilities is still quite amazing. The AW 3D engine is the same as the one used in the older Grand Theft Auto Games, The flexibility and capabilities of the 3d engine has yet to be fully utilized.

Many of the citizens of Active Worlds dedicate many volunteered hours to improve and / or promote Active worlds. Some even host blogs, websites and even a few Internet Radio Stations that promote AW in one form or another. I am amazed at some of the wonderful builds that citizens make, some builds really push the limits of the Active Worlds platform, others defy any kind of logic but in the end all of them are quite amazing.  This Post is for all of you Citizens that put so many hours into making Active Worlds a better place, be it via building, instructing, helping new citizens or just being a friendly person to chat with.  There are many of us who are thankful for your many hours, days , months and even years of dedication to Active Worlds and its community.

The More you Give to Active Worlds the More you Get out of it!

Build, Be Friendly, Be Helpful and Volunteer if you can to one of the organizations and projects going on in Active Worlds. Don’t be scared to be a part of something as wonderful as our great community within Active Worlds.

 

Ray Barbier A.K.A. Dovestar.

Thanks To all you Dedicated Active World Citizens! was originally published on RJB Networks

The Human Spirit and Fellowship


tpl_7_pplIt is amazing how people can go through so much pain, loss and tragedy  and still stand strong. The human spirit can overcome almost anything that is thrown at it, especially when there are those around you to lend some of their love and strength to you. When we stand together we are far stronger than when we stand alone. The friendship and fellowship between us are but bonds of love on many levels. This bond is part of the strength that keeps us from falling and giving up.

hnd0002  This is why it is important to have you hand extended to all that are in need, not only do you help them with your strength and compassion they become a part of your strength if you allow them. The more you befriend the more strength you have at your disposal and the more you can help others, be they friends or not. We must not limit our compassion to family or our circle of friends for that only limits our strength and our ability to grow.

dd43853We are here to lean on one another when we are not as strong and lend each other support and each others strength to get through the rough times. We are here to celebrate life together and enjoy the blessings we have. As long as we don’t allow selfishness, pride and fear to fill our hearts there is little we can not accomplish or overcome.

 

We should not waste time fearing death, instead we should spend that time cherishing life and those we share life with.

Ray Barbier

Life is short, so cherish every moment you can with those you love .


002In this modern world there seem to be way too many distractions and things that overload our minds. So much to distract us from what is truly important to us and keep our minds focused away from what needs to be done.  We allow such things as television, radio and even our jobs to either distract us or get in the way of quality time with our family and friends. So easy to just zone out and watch a TV show or play a computer game and ignore things needed to get done. So easy to ignore everyone around us whom need our attention, affection and companionship.

I have seen so many couples live together but really just share the same space instead of sharing their lives. The become so self-absorbed  within their little universe that they barely acknowledge one another.

We all love our little distraction, but we must learn to set aside time for our love ones and to manage our time so we do not neglect the people and things that are important in our lives. Enjoy the distractions but don’t let them be a hurdle or roadblock in your life. Find time to spend with your family and friends along with some quiet time for yourself.  Life is short, so cherish every moment you can with those you love.

Thoughts on Love and Forgiveness


Rembrandt – “The Return of the Prodigal Son

Love, one of the greatest gifts and blessings God gave us. The love we have for family and friends and the love they have for us as well . The love for our fellow humans and the love we share with all those we interact with. So much we long for and desire, but Love is the grandest prize we can obtain and definitely the greatest gift we can give and/or share.

We were created in Love, we were saved by Gods love and we will in the end bask in his love. We should live this short life full of love and sharing it everywhere we travel. Forgiveness and Love are the two things we have the power to manifest and to spread wherever we go. We should love one another for it is commanded that we do so and it seems to be the most joyful thing we have to do in our lives. To forgive lifts the burden from both the one who forgives and the one that is forgiven.  Love  fills us with light and happiness.

Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts on 7/4/2013


HPIM0064We walk through our life half blinded by what we perceive as reality and unaware of the beauty that life and this world has laid before us. Friendships, family and the relationships we have along with the bonds we make within our lifetime are to be cherished. We influence people we meet  directly by being a part of their lives and we can affect others through the footprints we leave. We can also influence one person  who can carry that influence to others. We can also write a blog and through it influence the thoughts of readers and other bloggers. We are far more intertwined as a species than we like to admit.

The words or actions of one can affect so many without even being the intention nor being realized by the person who initiated it all.  Once we realize how much our words and actions can affect and influence others we must face the fact we are responsible for the results brought about by them. We should always be conscious of our actions and words as well as the consequences they can bring. We also should be cautious and conscious of the actions and words of others so we can be in control of what influences us as well. We must not walk through life half blinded and half awake, we should be fully awake and aware of all that is around us. We should be aware of the responsibility of being alive and the consequences of our actions and words. We also should always cherish the life we have been given to live and know it is a blessing.

Be aware, Be Awake and take responsibility for your actions and words. Be thankful and cherish the one life we have to live.

Ray Barbier

Words of wisdom or wishful thoughts.


IMG_1326_edited-1To love is to live, to live is to experience Love. To fear is to miss out on love and life. To fear love is to deny yourself happiness, to fear rejection is to deny yourself personal growth and the chance to succeed. To fear what others think is to throw away your chance to be who you are truly meant to be. To be like everyone else or follow the crowd is to deny yourself individuality. To deny you are a part of the whole is to deny yourself the fellowship it can bring along with the strength it can give you. To think you are strong by your own is to set yourself p for a great fall. To think you are wise is only proof you are yet a fool. To recognize your lack of wisdom and accept your faults  is the first step in becoming wise. To think you have learned it all only will deny you the truth and answers you seek. To hold a grudge and not forgive only hurts you and does nothing to the one that you begrudge. To judge others harshly only sets you up to be judged in the same way.

Be humble, Be kind, Try not to judge and if you do, do it with compassion. Love one another unconditionally and learn to forgive others as well as your own self

Ray Barbier