Tag Archives: Thought

Random Thoughts 4/20/2022


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People wonder why there is so much low self-esteem in the world, if you take a good look at television shows, commercials, social media, movies, and even the news on cable news stations you just may see some of the reasons for low self-esteem, but then there is also how one’s family treats them, their peers and the educational system.

When you are constantly bombarded with images of thin, fit, and muscular actors, advertisements aimed to push miracle vitamins and supplements to fix all your shortcomings, it is very hard to hold on to a good self-image and even harder to build it up. Constantly being told that having a perfect body weight, toned muscles, the right clothes, and accessories makes one beautiful and successful is making it hard for most people to maintain healthy self-esteem.

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Unfortunately, fashion, the newest electronics, and possessions play a big part in teenage self-image, which makes it hard for those who don’t have the money to compete with their peers. Combining that with parents that have to work 2 jobs or inconvenient hours to maintain the quality of life they have only makes it harder on teenagers and kids.

The ones that seem to suffer the worst during school years are those that don’t quite fit the norm, the overweight, the below-average to average looking, and the sensitive passive individuals. Bullying from those who think they are cool, tougher, and better than others does not help the situation at all. The consequences of bullying are usually mild and it seems it’s hard to catch kids bullying or maybe some just overlook it.

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Parents and siblings also play a large part in the development of a child’s self-esteem, they can be either a positive or negative force when it comes to a child’s self-image. Siblings usually are competing for the parent’s attention, love and favor so they tend to be very mean to one another. Parents on the other hand usually are trying to do what’s best for the child but don’t realize what works for one child does not always work for the other. Each child is a unique individual, they have different needs and need help in different ways. Some parents, unfortunately, don’t know how to deal with their children at all so they try to treat them as if they are adults way before the child or teen is emotionally and mentally ready to do so. This usually results in conflict and the child/teen becomes rebellious and has a poor self-image.

If the low self-esteem is not addressed and corrected during the child/teen years then it is carried into the adult years. That makes it very hard for the Adult to achieve a healthy relationship with a significant other and even harder for them to become successful in the work world.

Raising kids is not an easy task, being a parent means you have to be a caregiver, advisor, instructor, friend, leader, cook, counselor, and of course an ATM for the children lol. Helping a child navigate the battlefields of youth and preparing them for the many challenges they will have to face in the future is not an easy thing to accomplish. All you can do is give it your best shot and always be there for them when they need you.

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I myself have had self-esteem issues throughout my life, I have been battling low self-esteem for many decades. I could go down a list of all the things that caused my low self-esteem but what is the use of that now that it now falls squarely on me to repair the damage and improve myself. Plus the first step in moving on and building up your self-esteem/self-image is to forgive those who helped in destroying it and letting go of your own contributions to the whole mess as well.

Just know this, there is no one better than you, but then there is no one lesser than you. We all are unique, we all have our own gifts to embrace and shortcomings that we need to deal with. There is no one on this planet that does not have some emotional or psychological baggage to deal with. How much money you have, and how many toys you have has nothing to do with who you are or how good you are. What defines you is how you live life, and how you treat others and yourself.

Being successful sure feels good, being financially well off does make life easier in many ways, but money, possessions, and success are fleeting, they can be gone in an instant. Family and friends to me are far more important along with how I treat others, and how I live my life. Those things will be with me throughout my life.

Well, I wish you happiness, remember it does not matter what others think or say about you, it is what you know about yourself that matters the most.

Random Thoughts 4-17-2022


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During the last few years, it has really come to my attention that humanity tends to cling to hatred, fear, and selfishness far more than it should. The Ideal is that being compassionate, caring, showing love, and being nice in general are signs of weakness that are slowly destroying our societies. Too many hold on to the belief, that in order to be strong you must be callus, cold, and show no mercy.

I ask you this question, which takes more courage, which takes more effort and strength to achieve and maintain? Being a person who lets his fears, anger, and lack of trust guide his decision, being callous and uncaring so that you can achieve a goal, or the person who conquers his fear and puts aside all his anger and distrust in order to achieve his goal?

To me it seems far easier to give in to anger and fear, takes less courage and effort to follow the path of war and destruction. Takes a very strong individual to put themselves out there and do the right thing, to do the things that benefit others more than themselves. Regardless of which way you do things, you will have critics and naysayers, but I would rather be disliked for doing good and being kind than for being a warmonger or a bringer of hate and distrust.

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There is some hope for Humanity through all this pandemic and war business going on nowadays, look at those who have opened their hearts and homes to refugees, the people going out of their way to help protect others from the pandemic, and aid in keeping those infected alive. We have seen the worse of humanity and the best of humanity through the last few years and I really hope in the end, the best of humanity will outweigh the worse and become the light to guide the way for future generations to follow.

Try to remember, that we all are brothers and sisters on this earth regardless of our skin color, or religious or political beliefs. We all desire a peaceful and happy world for our children and the future children to come. Be compassionate, caring, and live in harmony, if not for yourself, then for your children and the future.

That said, May peace come soon to the Ukraine conflict, may the pandemic pass for us all, and Happy Easter, Passover, and Ramadan to you all. Happiness and peace to all of my Brothers and Sisters across the world.

Random Thoughts 6-30-2017


The world we live in is a world of division, separation and is built around the belief one person, ideal, religion or political system is superior to another. We allow so much to separate us from each other, so much to obstruct human kind from becoming the wondrous creatures we could be. There are some in this world that do not care if everyone else believes as they do be it religious ,political or just in general. The differences between all of us could make us stronger and a unstoppable force. But unfortunately we don’t seem to be able to get beyond the fear and hate. We allow our differences to separate us and destroy the harmony and peace that could be ours. 

Imagine if you will a world where regardless of nationality, religion, beliefs and or social status we all get along and work together. Could you imagine the things as a untied species we could achieve. All the money put into the war machine could be focused on finding cures for diseases, renewable energies and even space exploration. We could find solutions to the problems we face in our time if we could pull together and work towards that goal.

To be honest it is some what disappointing that as civilized as we became as a species we still harbor such feelings as envy, hate and fear so abundantly and frequently. We should find the strength to put aside such feelings and put aside our differences as well for the good of all humanity and life on this planet.

Until we outgrow such things as greed, fear,envy and the lust for power as a species we will remain on this path that leads to the eventual extinction of humanity. Those feelings and desires will probably always plague our hearts and minds but we are capable of controlling and restraining such emotions and desires if we choose to do so. 

Humanity has such great potential, it has been shown through our ingenuity throughout the ages. If we learn to overcome the obstacles that keeps us separated , we can achieve the unbelievable and unthinkable.

 

The future belongs to everybody regardless if they be great or small in the eyes of society. What truly defines a person is their words and actions in life, not the opinions of others.

Raymond Barbier

Random Thoughts–2/6/2017


018  Acceptance, something most of us crave and need to be a functional and somewhat happy individual. A lot of the time we are accepted by our peers but we have a hard time accepting ourselves.  Our brain takes what we think about ourselves and uses it to filter the world around us, so even if someone is loved, appreciated and accepted they may feel the total opposite of that if they have a poor self image and can not accept themselves for who and what they are.

If most people would just spend 1/4 of the time they do on trying to be accepted by others on improving their self image and in accepting themselves then they would be much happier in their lives.  Learning to accept yourself with all your faults and bad habits is not a walk in the park, but it is not a non obtainable goal. The first thing is learning to forgive yourself for the things you did that you consider wrong or mistakes. The baggage of past actions only builds guilt, which guilt has a purpose but it is not meant to be lifelong thing.  Forgive yourself, your only human and you will make mistakes along the way. Learn from them, forgive yourself and move on. Let go of your past, don’t live in the past for it only steals away today. If you have things you do still that bother you then work hard on changing them, but until you change them learn to accept that side of yourself and forgive yourself for not being perfect.

Focus on serving others, to do good for others is a great way to improve your self image and worth. It also teaches you to consider others above yourself at times. Find activities that make you feel better about yourself and get out and socialize, being an island unto yourself is not the best way to live, it only opens you up to being lonely and disconnected from the world we live in.  Just remember no matter what you have done in your life, that you deserve to be happy and live life to its fullest.  Even if it was something horrible, that was then and this is now, learn to be a better person and live a happy and productive life like we all should live.

 

Blessings and happiness to you all

Raymond Barbier

Random Thoughts 5/8/2016


Sometimes we seem to be our own worst enemy, we tend to judge ourselves by impossible standards and with a harsher eye. We allow the opinions of others to influence our self-image, which if its positive is a good thing but unfortunately people are quicker to point out the flaws and mistakes in others than the good points. WE ned to learn to accept our own imperfections as a part of who we are now, if we don’t like them then we can change them as time goes by. But no reason to be down on yourself for being human and being imperfect, it’s all a part of life and growing as a person.

By understanding this about ourselves we also to accept the imperfections etc. in others as well. This is good for it will foster a friendlier atmosphere be it at home, work and when we are out having fun. Life is way too short to be a perfectionist and one who can’t be forgiving of themselves or others.

Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts 12-15-15


rayrayd_edited-1.pngMemories of my youth, memories of sunny days and picnics by the river. Sunshine warming my body and friends to hangout with. Family members gathering and enjoying life for all it was worth. Those days have long gone but their influence on my soul is still with me. My friends have moved on and forgotten about me and family members are less now days. Ah the beauty and wonder of the innocence we had in youth, dreams of happiness and fulfillment. The desire to belong and to be a part of the world we live in and all of its splendor as well. Some of the dreams remain and so does the desire to be a part of something. Unfortunately the innocence is lost in time and through our experiences in life, though we lose our innocence we gain wisdom and knowledge to help us through our journey.

Ray Barbier

 

Random Thoughts 12-15-15 was originally published on RJB Networks

Random Thoughts 10-29-2015


free Sometimes I just kick back and think of how many times I failed to reach my goals, how many times I allowed the failure to disrupt my life and how foolish I was to allow it to do so. Failure may not be something to strive for but it is a something we all must face from time to time. Through failure one can learn a lot, you learn not only what not to do or how not to do it, you also learn a lot about yourself and what you need to change. Failing isn’t the end of the road, it is but a pothole that you ran over. So don’t let it become a roadblock or worse. Every great inventor had to have many failures before they found the right design, Edison went through many failures on the light bulb before he got the right design to make it work. So failure is something we all must deal with along our way to success.Main thing is to never give up, keep on trying until you exhaust every option you have. Eventually you will find the right combination and or plan to make it work.

 

 

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Ray Barbier

Random Thoughts 10-29-2015 was originally published on RJB Networks

Random Thoughts 10-18-2015


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You may ask yourself at times why should I be a positive force? Why should I be a helpful, kind and compassionate being in a world where being selfish, greedy and self-serving is the norm. Just because the world has become such a place is a good enough reason for me. Why be like everyone else and be nothing but a mindless slave to the ways of society. Being Selfless, compassionate and loving person is a rewarding path in many ways. If you put forth the effort to live as a positive force in this world, you don’t only bring a positive influence on the environment you’re in but you also reap the benefits of the environment you’ve influenced and or created. As it is written you shall reap what you sow and karma in its own way does exist. Sure being selfish, greedy and focused on material gain can bring you temporary joy, but material wealth is something one can lose or have stolen from them.

 

mp900427738  Things such as love, compassion, charity and peace benefits not only the wielder but those around them. The happiness and joy achieved from such things can not be stolen or lost.  Money in this modern world is necessary to survive, but it shouldn’t be our main focus in life.  When you put your wealth and possessions before the wellbeing of our fellow human beings it is shameful and more animalistic than human.There always should be a balance between our material desires and the spiritual or emotional selves. To survive we must deal with the need and want for material possessions. We just need to learn to put that second to the  more important need to be a community and positive force in this world. Put our Intellect, Reasoning skills and creativity in motion for the betterment of humanity and the world that we live in. The way you walk in life affects both you and those around you, we all are a part of the bigger picture. We all have our part to play be it hero, supporting staff, observer, advisor or even villain.

 

Which role you play is up to you, all I can say is I hope you chose to walk in your life in way that will benefit all around you. Chose to be someone and something that you can love and understand.

I wish a blessed day and may compassion be your guide through life.

Ray Barbier

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Random Thoughts 10-18-2015 was originally published on RJB Networks

Words, Actions,Hypocrisy and being true


Words say so much, they convey thoughts, feelings and bring your ideas to life. Taking the words and making them a part of reality, living by the words, bringing the words to life is part of the cycle. Words without action fall on deaf ears and blind eyes.

Good ideas should be acted upon, wise words should be lived by not just read and casted aside.  Simple sayings such as the golden rule should be a part of your being not just a phrase spouted and put away when it’s not useful for self gain. So many claim to be things in which they may outwardly appear but inwardly are the opposite of. Hypocrisy is rampant in politics, religion and within the fabric of society. Preach one way and walk in another, claim to be one thing while acting the total opposite.

I guess we all are guilty of such things in one way or another in our lifetime. The point is that if you are going to live this life then be open, honest and true to who and what you are. In the end who and what you are shows itself to those around you. There is no hiding who and what you are , well at least not forever.  Stop deceiving others and most of all stop deceiving yourself.

Be true to yourself
Ray Barbier.

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Words, Actions,Hypocrisy and being true was originally published on RJB Networks

Random Thoughts 9-17-2015 Post 2


Sometimes life makes us feel insignificant, unnoticed and almost invisible . Our minds get trapped in this belief and self perpetuates the negative mentality. When that happens just shake it off for there is no one exactly like you in all of existence. You are unique, one of a kind so that negative thinking is nothing but your mind failing to see the truth around it. Yes, there are those who wont accept you or like you no matter what you say or do, those people are loosing out on a good opportunity to get to know yet another unique individual. Worry little over such things as if someone likes you or not, just treat others respectfully and be a good person that is what matters in the long run. Popularity may have its perks but they are short-lived just like the social status it brings. No one stays on top for ever so why bother seeking out something so temporary and unimportant. To be honest I believe being popular and in the spot light is far more stressful and problematic than it appears. To always worry about what people think, to have to work at remaining in the social spotlight and denying yourself the pleasure of being who you are for the sake of being popular seems kind of depressing if not plain silly.  If they can not love and accept you as who you truly are then they are not accepting you at all. It’s all an illusion and a fake plastic like reality. Give me being average and my self over being someone I am not just for the sake of being popular any day. Take me as I am or move along, for this is me and that’s all your going to get.

You have to learn to love and accept who you are before you will find those who will do the same.

Ray Barbier

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Random Thoughts 9-17-2015 Post 2 was originally published on RJB Networks