We all may live in the present, but we are influenced by the past. Decisions we made and people we knew both weighs heavy on our hearts. Mistakes we have learned from still leave scars in our souls and loves that have died still echo in our hearts. They all are there to remind us not to repeat the mistakes of our past. Sometimes it feels as if they remain only to punish us for our mistakes, that will fade as one learns to forgive themselves.
For me it is far easier to forgive others than to forgive myself. Eventually I do forgive myself for the mistakes I have made, if I didn’t I would not only be punishing myself but others around me for the mistakes I made and that isn’t fair. Not a easy task to forgive oneself but not impossible. Just remember you are not the only one who has made mistakes and that you are only human.
To look in the eyes of a expecting mother is to see the meaning of life. To look in the eyes of a child is to see the value of our youth.
To look in the eyes of a teenager is to see the folly of our hearts.
To look in the eyes of an adult is to see the paranoia of our minds.
To look into the eyes of a elder is to see the wisdom of mankind.
But to look in the eyes of a baby is to see the miracle of life.
The key to a long life is happiness, according to research being happy will keep you healthy. Well that is not anything new just a different view of a similar fact. They already been pushing how depression and stress causes physical problems such as chronic illness. So now they throw a new spin on it and approach it on a more positive note. Now don’t get me wrong, I actually support the new approach. Being happy is a lot easier than trying not to be stressed and depressed. Kind of like the new idea that you can eat all you want but you have to eat responsibly is allot better than the old way of starving yourself and causing malnutrition.
I guess its allot easier to start something new than trying to quit an old habit. Replace one bad habit with another, hopefully replace it with a better habit if you are lucky. And I know there is someone reading this thinking oh yeah if it were only that simple.
How are you to know if you don’t try it? Just kill an idea before you even research its possibilities.
Thought of the day:
One of the greatest enemies of self improvement is self doubt.
Have you ever noticed that animals (our pets) seem to dislike change? Well it seems to be a built-in thing among all species of this planet. Humans are no exception to this fact, seems we are one of the most effected by our environment. Change can bring either excitement or fear in us and which we experience is not only up to the individual but also the situation. In most cases change seems to always be for the better except for the loss of loved ones in our life. Yet even though the death of a parent or sibling may be a very devastating blow to our lives it can also bring good changes along with it. It teaches us of our mortality and how we should cherish each day we are blessed to have.
It can also teach us inner strength and remind us of many things that the departed had taught us in our time with them. We can control most of how we react and how we are influenced by the changes in life. If we are both willing and fortunate enough we will always find what positive we can in each situation. Of course we always have to deal with the negative aspects of tragic circumstances but we also can reap the positive that may be within them. I guess I would rather be an optimist and reap the positive than go around being the pessimist and wallow in the negative. Grief must be a part of life, but it don’t have to be all that life is.
Seems through out life we all must endure changes, some that were planed others that were created by circumstances beyond our control. Most of the small common changes seem to be dealt with with ease but there are usually several changes in most of our lives that really recreate our path in life. In my life the first of these changes that recreated my path was the day I had to move from my home town of Overland Missouri to where my father got stationed in the army.
He was stationed at Fort Gillam a base located outside of Atlanta in Clayton county Georgia. The move created the new circumstances of finding new friends , learning a new area and once again to find a way to fit in to the society. Being I was 16 when I moved it was a bit of a shock to have to relearn the social behavior of a slightly different culture. Beside the difference in accents and lingo there was differences in the mind set of my peers to what I was accustomed to. Yes they had allot of commonalities but believe it or not there was enough differences to create a challenge to this outgoing yet passive teenage boy. Needless to say I braved through it with little popularity and eventually I gave up on trying and quit school which I regret to this day. Just when I thought things where settling down I had a new challenge before me. At age 18 my parents went through a divorce.
So once again I had to adapt to yet another change in life. At the time it did not seem to effect me much, don’t know if I was indifferent at the time or if I was just repressing my feelings at the time. From that time on I seemed to have put myself into neutral and just coasted through life till my 20’s. Having no ambitions or personal drive I was just being a financial burden on my mother. Eventually I did leave home, but after a long time of going back and leaving I finally found me a woman to become my wife. Though looking back on it now I think both me and her chose to be a couple out of need instead of love. I was 27 at the time we married and the years to follow both had some good times and some very bad times for both of us. Needless to say in the end we divorced due to her infidelity and my shortcomings as well. She is a good person, but she wasn’t happy with me.
Divorced and bankrupt at age 37 I had to start all over again. Not only did I have to be single again I had to start over due to a fire that burned down the home me and my ex wife once lived in. Forced by situation I had to move in with my older Brother Jim, though we are brothers we are like opposite ends of a magnet in personalities. But Jim still was there for me when I needed him even though we fight allot between us. To give you an idea of our differences Jim is the macho ladies man type as I am the laid back intellect type. Though not totally incompatible it seems to cause some problems from time to time. So here I am again needing to adapt to new situations. Did I mention I am not to found of change? Well anyway after about 6 months at my brothers Jim talked to a online friend of mine who I knew through out my previous marriage and convinced her to come visit me in hope that we may hit it off. And with luck my brother actually did me the biggest favor anyone could have done for me. Yes we hit it off after the 3rd visit we were headlong in a new relationship. Her name was Trish and she has been there for me as a friend for years and now the love of my life. about a year has passed and the convenient store I worked at was selling out so I took advantage of the situation and filled for unemployment insurance. This gave me the opportunity and ability to move up to Tennessee into Trish’s Parents lake house to further our relationship.
For about five months I lived in the lake house while Trish and I were arranging to have a place of our own in Kentucky. Now that unemployment insurance has ran out and on top of that my car insurance canceled for unknown reasons I find my self in a new place starting from square one with a bit of a disadvantage.
Basically this is my life in a small nutshell, stay tuned for more entries…
I am wandering through life aimlessly trying to find myself and where I am supposed to be. wondering what is to become of this world I live in. Watching the world go to war with its self as religions preach love and unfortunately create wars. Mad men running governments pointing fingers at other mad men running another country. Such a waste and such a shame after all these years mankind has really never got beyond his tribal instincts. Prejudice of all forms created by lack of understanding and the fear of the unknown fills human hearts.
Watching those who walk in peace and with love being trampled down by hoards of selfish people who hide behind corporate logos and government titles. Rhetoric on the TV and radios yelling that the middle class is loosing the war when I already know that we have lost. Sending young men to kill in the name of national security in a foreign land while we leave most of our home unguarded and still not secured. Scandals in the senate and congress along with their usual mud slinging before mid term elections.
Seems that the new millennium is turning out to be worse than we expected. Hope is still here but it is faint because most people are unwilling to stand up and be heard. We the People are now just we the complacent and we just cant seem to look beyond our back yard enough to see we can and must help change the world we live in. How we do it is one of the most common questions and there is many answers to them.
It depends on the person, it can be as simple as being a better person towards everyone you meet. You would be surprised how much change you can make by doing things to help others. Of course writing your congressman about the issues you have with how things are in government may help. But it seems that even though sometimes that can create change it is very rare it does. Could always adopt some of the tactics of the hippies of the 60’s & 70’s and do sit ins and petitions and rally’s. Educating the people to the injustices seems to be an effective way also to help induce change.
But you also must educate them in how we could change things so that we can have a better life. Ignorance may be bliss, but its a unrealistic bliss that eventually will come back and haunt us. What ever way you find to create a positive change to this world we live in and the children will inherit will be the one of many ways that others will follow.
Well enough of my rambling… Until next Time
Peace and Love to all